Ashdale Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 Hi Guys, I found myself in a wonderful relationship with a girl that’s so far been the best out of my prior four relationships. We have allot in common, we push each other, we motivate each other, our sex life is very active and we began making long term plans. It’s to a point where people we do or don’t know consider us a couple without us even trying. Her past was filled with guys who tended to use her and when we stated dating, I felt as if I was dating the shell of a woman. I started sending her flowers every other week to her work place, taking her on weekends to the beach or to do something adventurous. When she got ill, I took her on a mini vacation day which turned into an overnight trip. I’m always listening to her problems and helping her through the days but sadly, she came forward with something a bit shocking. It seems as if when we started dating, she was exiting a relationship at the same time. I was a little suspicious that she usto talk about a ex who was married and would not stop talking to her but she indicated that she didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Eventually she flaked on two of our dates and so it came out that he had confessed his love for her (Despite being married) and he began making demands on her to end our relationship. Instead, she indicated that it had no future and wanted to continue seeing me while she tried to cut him off. This weekend, I took her to one of the most romantic places in Jamaica. I was on vacation while she called in sick to come along. We had fun and the relationship seemed fine until she had a sever mood shift. She asked that I stop holding her hand as if we were a couple, she began talking abt all of my negative traits and she slept as furthest as possible from me. I didn’t do or say anything to cause this so it was a shock. On the last day, she asked that we take a brake because she was being emotionally manipulated by her ex and it was filtering into the relationship. She asked that we still go out but not as often, that I cut down my contact with her and that she would call me because he had began going through her phones. She still wants us to move in together but this has been pushed to December. We even began planning to spend Christmas together because she wanted us to do it as a family. My problem is, at the beginning, she claimed she liked me more than a friend but not as a partner because she wasn’t usto not dating a player yet she began showing the sweetest of sides to me and began showing how good of a partner she could be and wanting the relationship. Her sisters have all met me and they seem to like me yet the one which I’m closest to said every time we came in from a date, she felt confused between no commitment (him) and husband material (Me). I stopped calling her seeing the no contact time has started but she has began calling me every other day...sometimes upset that she’s not hearing from me, other times.....more like an excus just for us to talk. The brake/ more than a friendship-less than a relationship should last up to December yet at the beginning she wanted a year. I really don’t want to find myself waiting for someone who won’t come back. Not for my emotions to be unsettled for such a long time. I’m a very patient partner and I know she has allot of issues but each time he pops up, she takes a step back into her depression.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 (edited) OP, this girl is bad news. She has resumed her affair with her married man, though it seems you haven't really realized that yet. Why do you think she wants you to disappear? She doesn't want her on-again married boyfriend to know she was dating you and she knows she cannot reasonably date you both at the same time. She's gone back to him, though. It's clear as day. For many reasons, you need to drop her and move on. She is not a decent person. This has nothing to do with her being manipulated by her boyfriend, and everything to do with her manipulating you. Don't wait around. This won't have a happy ending for you and I am sure you can do a lot better than her. EDIT: I gave you similar advice weeks ago, in your other thread about her. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/660291-she-changed-her-mind Edited August 5, 2018 by ExpatInItaly
Mrin Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 I think you already know how this is going to go but... She is still in her bad boy phase. on top of that she has some alarming ethical issues. First of all she is/was in a relationship before you. That relationship is with a married man. She then entered a relationship with you without telling you of her existing relationship with a married man. She allows you to do things like take her to Jamaica when she's obviously still somehow caught up with this other guy. And on top of it she is stealing from her employer by calling in sick instead of using vacation to go on vacation. Sounds like a real winner to me. Do yourself a favor and move on. 1
d0nnivain Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 You are a doormat & she's a liar. She probably has still been in contact with this married man all along. If she wasn't he wouldn't be able to emotionally manipulate her. She's not taking a "break" or time off from you. She's running back to him. He probably told her something like he'll finally leave his wife. Given every thing you have done for her she's very manipulative. Your other thread about her confirms that you were only to make the MM jealous. Plus she has questionable ethics. She lied to her employer to call in sick to go on vacation with you. This woman will do anything she pleases. 1
fromheart Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 She sounds horrible. No wonder she is depressed. Better to stop tolerating her nonsense and move on.
Marc878 Posted August 5, 2018 Posted August 5, 2018 Geese man why can't you value yourself more. You were nothing but a rebound and she's a very typical lying cheater. You should wake up. She is the type that would cheat on you too.
overcome Posted August 6, 2018 Posted August 6, 2018 I agree with the other posters on this thread. This one is bad news. First off, she was with a married man. If she has no problem being with someone who cheats on their wife, what do you think that tells you about her morals and values? Second, even if you were to look past this flaw, if she was really into you then she would have cut off all contact with this married man. She hasn't done that. What does that tell you? Add these two things together and you have a zero chance of things ever working out with this woman. Sometimes the truth hurts but in the long run, it will save you a lot more heartache than you can imagine.
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