ThreeRainbows Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 So this guy I'm talking to on OLD is leaving it up to me to pick the location for a first meeting. This kind of makes me feel a weird pressure. I don't really like that. He knows where I live, I would like it if he picked a place, then asked me. Is this just a sign he's not that interested? Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Hey! Not at all! I don't think it means he's not interested. It's safer for the woman to pick the location. Choose some place you already know, let the man go to the place less familiar to him. What pressure are you feeling? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThreeRainbows Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 I am not sure what to pick... I am not used to this. Never done this before. I was thinking like, a coffee place. I don't know of anything though, besides Starbucks. Should I suggest that? Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 He's interested or you wouldn't be going on a date. As far as leaving the location up to you he could be indecisive, he could be unsure of himself and lacking in initiative, he could simply be allowing you to take part in the decision, he could be new to your area, or he could be a complete pantywaist. I wouldn't rush to judgment though because you don't know what the reason is and it could be completely beneficent. Speaking personally, I almost always picked the location myself if my date and I had a common food interest, but sometimes I would present a couple of options and let her pick. Even when I was new to an area I would still investigate a few places and then get her opinion on them during the phone call. Did you two discuss any options together in advance and he's just letting you pick your preference or did he dump the whole cat in your lap? Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I am not sure what to pick... I am not used to this. Never done this before. I was thinking like, a coffee place. I don't know of anything though, besides Starbucks. Should I suggest that? Where do you like to go? Then pick that place. Nice guys let you pick. Bad guys pick the place for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 What about a coffee shop inside a book store?? Kind of like a Barnes & Noble... Do they have them where you are at?? Books are great for making small talk. Also you can wander around the book store after coffee if you like this guy. Just a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Coffee place is ok. These are the criterions I use: Easy for me to get to (he can do more driving). Not my regular hangout (so I won't run into people I know). Easy to find, and easy to park. Not too crowded. Not too isolated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThreeRainbows Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 He's interested or you wouldn't be going on a date. As far as leaving the location up to you he could be indecisive, he could be unsure of himself and lacking in initiative, he could simply be allowing you to take part in the decision, he could be new to your area, or he could be a complete pantywaist. I wouldn't rush to judgment though because you don't know what the reason is and it could be completely beneficent. Speaking personally, I almost always picked the location myself if my date and I had a common food interest, but sometimes I would present a couple of options and let her pick. Even when I was new to an area I would still investigate a few places and then get her opinion on them during the phone call. Did you two discuss any options together in advance and he's just letting you pick your preference or did he dump the whole cat in your lap? Pretty much dumping the whole thing in my lap. We haven't had a phone conversation yet, just messaging. I get the impression he's a "P" guy (in mbti terms). However, he had the balls to ask me to meet him very early on, and I respect that. I feel like it's making me do the work, but perhaps he is trying to be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Pretty much dumping the whole thing in my lap. We haven't had a phone conversation yet, just messaging. I get the impression he's a "P" guy (in mbti terms). However, he had the balls to ask me to meet him very early on, and I respect that. I feel like it's making me do the work, but perhaps he is trying to be nice. Do you date nice guys? Or guys like this before? If you don't like to do all the work then don't go out with him then. It's up to you really? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThreeRainbows Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Ok. We figured it out. He started helping, and I just picked something. Life is not easy when you're shy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThreeRainbows Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Do you date nice guys? Or guys like this before? If you don't like to do all the work then don't go out with him then. It's up to you really? I don't mind picking, after I get a bit more comfortable. My last boyfriend was horrible in this regard. But he was sweet, and honestly? That is a flaw I will take, as long as it's not because he's taking me for granted. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 ...I just picked something. Great!! Now relax & go have fun!! Link to post Share on other sites
Doost Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I wonder what did you pick? Hanging out in a cemetery after midnight? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I would have np picking a place out. What's the big deal? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 I've been asked to choose the meeting place, it's no big deal. Sometimes geography comes into play especially if he's far away. Chances are you will meet that one time, then never hear a word from him again. If so, no harm no foul. But maybe if it's something down the road that he always has you take the lead, that could be troublesome. But for a first meeting, don't sweat it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Hey! Not at all! I don't think it means he's not interested. It's safer for the woman to pick the location. Choose some place you already know, let the man go to the place less familiar to him. What pressure are you feeling? This does not mean he isn't interested. I always loved picking the place because of safety and convenience (so many flakes/terrible dates). Eventually I started picking places 10-15 min from home, so I wouldn't have to drag myself an hour or more home afterwards. Plus if there was any trouble my parents could be there quicker. Of course they never had my home address. You can pick Starbucks (my fave go to for dates) or a park/something similar. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 He may not know any good places to go or at least what you're comfortable with or something that is relatively close to home and not an inconvenience for you. I don't see it as a bad thing to allow you to choose. I usually ask their general location where they live and try to finds someplace in the middle or something that works around schedules and location if trying to plan a time around work. I'll put out more than one option. A lot of guys just want you to choose something that works for you, and they'll make it work for them, and this is a good thing. You worry more if you can't nail down a day or time. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 So this guy I'm talking to on OLD is leaving it up to me to pick the location for a first meeting. This kind of makes me feel a weird pressure. I don't really like that. He knows where I live, I would like it if he picked a place, then asked me. Is this just a sign he's not that interested? No. It's a sign that you're not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 It's your town, you should know where to go. I'm not thrilled about picking the place when I don't know the other person too well because I recognize that I have a tendency to pick high end places; they are just where I go but I understand they make others uncomfortable. So I would have 3-4 options that work for me, then let the other person decide among those choices. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 30, 2018 Share Posted July 30, 2018 Chances are you will meet that one time, then never hear a word from him again. Why the negativity?? "ThreeRainbows" might hit it off with this guy. I prefer to think positive and go into any dating situation with an upbeat attitude. With a optimistic view, you are more likely to have fun on a date, anyway. You never know, he may actually be the one!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThreeRainbows Posted July 30, 2018 Author Share Posted July 30, 2018 Haha, thanks for all the responses guys. Actually, I am very interested in him. I am just a little shy and new at this. Link to post Share on other sites
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