Purrrfect Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 If he didn’t ask to bring you or mention it, he’s up to something and so is she. I wouldn’t go to a party where my S/O was not invited Somethings up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 Okay your bf wanted this girl and pursued her for 6 months. He obviously cared a great deal for her to pursue that long. She rejected his offers and it crushed his ego. Those are the events that push a person into obsession. I imagine he wants to go to the HW party looking his best, to see if this girl has changed her mind about him. Not that he would leave you right away, but that would spell trouble for your relationship if she is now interested. He was not going to tell you about this event because he wanted to go alone and also he knows this would create an argument. He is wrong to go because it doesn't sound like they were/are friends. If they were friends he would have told you and her that you were coming. Well this situation is different she did like him from my understanding they way he describes it is they wanted each other but being together wasn’t really working out for him not the way he wanted it...he might have ended it but he didn’t cut communication Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Well this situation is different she did like him from my understanding they way he describes it is they wanted each other but being together wasn’t really working out for him not the way he wanted it...he might have ended it but he didn’t cut communication All the more reason it's inappropriate for him to go to her housewarming without you. He wants to be warming her bed & she's not against it. They just have a timing issue. Neither apparently even see you as an obstacle. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Well this situation is different she did like him from my understanding they way he describes it is they wanted each other but being together wasn’t really working out for him not the way he wanted it...he might have ended it but he didn’t cut communication So right there my dear he didn't cut communication with her so he's still after her what a way to get to her by going to her house warming party without you by his side. He doesn't want you there because he's still after her. Please see reason to this otherwise the only person going to be hurt is you not him. He doesn't care about you he only cares about what he wants and he wants to go to her and not be around you. It's hard for you to understand this because men can say whatever they want until what they really want they go after it and leave well someone like you behind. If he does goes there so do you, Either you go with him or not you will go away from his derriere (pardon my french). Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 The fact that there remained a whole lot of unresolved feelings with him, primarily, and her, to a lesser extent, speaks volumes to the fact that there wasn't anything like a clean break between them. They basically parted on good terms and he kept the spark of hope alive, even while he was telling you he wanted to move forward with you. The fact is: he may have used you to soothe his disappointment with her, but he was never of the mindset that things with her were over---because if they were, when he saw her he wouldn't have stopped to chat with her long enough to get the invite--and she did invite him and he accepted knowing you were his girlfriend now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 I wonder what ex/party-giver would say about all this... Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 We’re all assuming that the invitation was extended because the two of them “happened” to bump into each other, but that in itself could be a lie. You see, when people start lying to you, everything they say is suspect. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Another problem with this OP is your bf wasn't the one to even tell you there was going to be a HW party. Someone else had to tell you. Did he forget that easily? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 He still likes her, OP. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Did he give you any details about what wasn't working out with her? Not that I'd necessarily take that as gospel. Would be nice to hear her side, wouldn't it? So what was it that wasn't working out? Is it that she only wanted to be friends but he has a hard time believing that, or is it something specific, like they WERE dating and sleeping together, but she wouldn't clean house or he didn't want to be exclusive? If you want answers, find out what it was and let us know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 Another problem with this OP is your bf wasn't the one to even tell you there was going to be a HW party. Someone else had to tell you. Did he forget that easily? Yeah i realized that then wondered was he going to bring it up or did i just jump the gun before he had the opportunity Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 Well the first time she came up he told me a lot! said he asked her to be his gf.. and a few weeks later he told her “you’re not treating me like a boyfriend” he never explained “how” and he said he eventually wanted to just be her friend... being together wasn’t working out for him... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 We’re all assuming that the invitation was extended because the two of them “happened” to bump into each other, but that in itself could be a lie. You see, when people start lying to you, everything they say is suspect. I believe he probably bumped into the way her friend was talking Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 If he didn’t ask to bring you or mention it, he’s up to something and so is she. I wouldn’t go to a party where my S/O was not invited Somethings up. Agreed but maybe i jumped the gun with not waiting so see if he’d speak on it Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 The fact that there remained a whole lot of unresolved feelings with him, primarily, and her, to a lesser extent, speaks volumes to the fact that there wasn't anything like a clean break between them. They basically parted on good terms and he kept the spark of hope alive, even while he was telling you he wanted to move forward with you. The fact is: he may have used you to soothe his disappointment with her, but he was never of the mindset that things with her were over---because if they were, when he saw her he wouldn't have stopped to chat with her long enough to get the invite--and she did invite him and he accepted knowing you were his girlfriend now. Yeah i found out he was still talking to her i think she told him she missed him and he said he missed her too and he called her “honey” but i decided to give it another shot ... ever since then he has spoke on her i haven’t had an issue Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 this isn't going to work out well for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 Your boyfriend sounds sketchy. Are you sure you want someone like this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I'veseenbetterlol Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 He prob still has the hots for her. My mom always told me, if a guy likes another woman, don't force him to like you, let him choose who he likes. There are hidden motives and if something comes along w/this woman, he will most likely drop you or worse do something behind you back. Watch out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted July 19, 2018 Share Posted July 19, 2018 The writing is on the wall. He still wants to be with her. Of course he doesn't want you to go. He wants to have the freedom to see if something could ignite on the night of the party. He wants to appear single and available. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Well, he could fix this entire thing by simply bringing you with him to the party. Link to post Share on other sites
anduina Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Well, he could fix this entire thing by simply bringing you with him to the party.Is he worth this fix? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Yeah i found out he was still talking to her i think she told him she missed him and he said he missed her too and he called her “honey” but but nothing. Stop making excuses for him. He hasn't got sufficient loyalty to cover a flea. You are the other chick/the one he's marking time with until the one he really wants to be with---this chick who semi-not quite tossed him over--comes 'round. He got with you to try to get over her--not because he wanted a full on relationship with you. That much gets more and more evident with each excuse you come up with to excuse what he's doing. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 (edited) Is he worth this fix? exactly. He's emotionally cheating and given the opportunity, he'd be sexually cheating, too. A man chasing in behind another woman to the point where he's making plans that don't include you--the current girlfriend--isn't worth the time it takes to even draw breath and form your lips to complain. Men cannot be that thin on the ground where OP is to settle for this sort of treatment... and if she is, then this says a lot more about how OP's esteems her self-worth than it does him. If the person you're with treats you in any way other than well, and you keep sticking around trying to make it work, you're no longer a victim of what they're doing--you're a volunteer. . Edited July 20, 2018 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
Author ShaneMcCaw Posted July 21, 2018 Author Share Posted July 21, 2018 Is he worth this fix? Not at all Link to post Share on other sites
ElKay Posted July 21, 2018 Share Posted July 21, 2018 It looks like he is just waiting for an opportunity to jump ship because he puts her way higher than you in his priorities list. If she responds to his attention now that her private life is a bit settled, he will most likely take the opportunity since that's what he wanted for so long now. The forbidden fruit. :/ Link to post Share on other sites
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