Do you reach out to someone who ghosted you?

[Sbla22]

Ghosting is so harsh and horrible but I have done it myself, not often but I have.

 

I'm a 26 year old male who has been OLD on and off for 3 years or so now. Had 3 relationships in that time and around 50 or so first dates (maybe more).

 

I have been ghosted plenty myself - most cases after only 1 date. Fair enough, that's a given. Some women have had the decency to tell me via text they didn't feel chemistry but some just stop replying the next day so 'ghost'. Used to annoy me, now I feel nothing if this happens.

 

I had a few 2 or 3 dates where they ghosted which hurt a little bit more but that's maybe 3 people out of those 50 plus.

 

The worst case was someone who went out with me on 4 dates over a month period where we also text nearly every day then one day just stopped replying until I took the hint.

 

I haven't ghosted much - tbh it's pretty rare that I have gone on a date where the woman was so much more into me than the other way round.

 

Sadly this week I did ghost someone.

 

I went on a first date with someone 8 days ago who I really liked and we have scheduled to meet next week again. In between I was talking to this other woman online who tbh I was more attracted to her 'conversation' than looks going by her pictures but I was willing to give her a chance so arranged a first date. In the mean time she was bombarding me with messages and mentioned her surname to me. So of course I did a quick Facebook check and her pictures on the dating site had been really carefully selected and altered. It sounds really shallow but she was very plain and not physically attractive at all. So for me I knew it would never have any chance....but how could I tell her this? No way. So I faked an illness the day before and said we'd have to rearrange which I know is a poor thing to do and had this done to me loads of times.

 

I thought she'd get the hint but she text me today a passive agressive message saying how she gets anxious about these things and if I wasn't interested could I let her know. So what the OP describes.

 

I replied making up that I was getting back with my ex....she then sent a message basically insulting me and saying she's used to it.

 

OP let me tell you these texts may make you feel good at first but all it does is make the person irritated, make you look insecure and desperate and ultimately you end up no better off. I know it's tempting and in my earlier dating days I sent a few of these but always regretted it.

 

Ghosting is just part of the dating game but for me 3 dates or more require an honest conclusion.

[Blake101]

Let's see though are we talking about what "should" be or how to react to what IS? What IS that for whatever reason she is not replying to OP in a time he finds sufficient. He can ask himself if he is being reasonable about this timeframe, he can try to gather info from her as to why and/or express his expectations to her, he can do something (his choices lean toward retaliation) or he can do nothing.

 

I think it is just as proactive and more productive to direct his efforts elsewhere--the right kind of "do something". Why would he want to be with some girl with this type of character anyway if she is so wrong? And how he deals with it is a reflection of his character. I don't think the a & b options he had are a reasonable reaction or one that is in line with a normal reaction. Sometimes in life things don't happen from other people as they SHOULD, but you do have a choice in how you react to them.

 

*ps not exclusive so while it would be nice and show good character if she said something to him, she def doesn't 'owe' him anything. Life unfolds and people show you who they are; that goes for both ends. We are only hearing one side of the story, from one perspective; (guaranteed it has been a series of events from both people that would make this something she doesn't see as good to continue). Sometimes people are a**holes and don't live up to our expectations.

 

 

You do bring up a good point, though I don't entirely agree - I can see where you're coming from.

 

At this point she has gotten back to me, but only the lowest of efforts. She responded to my last snap, but only of a picture of where she was at, with the word "streak." So I did the same, and today she sent another one of her food.

 

Then literally a few minutes ago she sent me something on instagram.

 

I'm planning on not responding to both, since she hasn't answered my question of going on a date. Not sure if it would be "emo" of me to do so I wanted to know your take on it.

[Versacehottie]

You do bring up a good point, though I don't entirely agree - I can see where you're coming from.

 

At this point she has gotten back to me, but only the lowest of efforts. She responded to my last snap, but only of a picture of where she was at, with the word "streak." So I did the same, and today she sent another one of her food.

 

Then literally a few minutes ago she sent me something on instagram.

 

I'm planning on not responding to both, since she hasn't answered my question of going on a date. Not sure if it would be "emo" of me to do so I wanted to know your take on it.

 

Don't answer. While we may not agree on the theory behind some of the choices you have mentioned before, I absolutely agree that you should not be jumping to answer that IG message/post/story. She is jerking you around a bit and likes the attention if she still hasn't answered your question. I advocate not acting like an a** yourself, not signing up to be a doormat! As a guy who has better things to do & has effectively been blown off in a way, you don't jump when she pulls the puppet strings.

 

Anyway, i know people in college are on IG 24/7 & imagining that you are a very quick responder too since you give first and expect in return (which a lot of people take and have no real expectations and are very fluid which is why ppl like you get upset easily). Go on the theory that you are a college aged guy (right?) and they also have a tendency to be flakey and onto other things! It is certainly less emo to be right there waiting for her next message.

 

You should be lowering her priority because for whatever reason she has lowered yours. You don't stay focused on the goal you were focused on a few days ago (date her in a straightforward manner) because she hasn't shown you courtesy and consistency of someone who you do talk to every day for two months to answer the question. You mildly pull back--that's a normal response. Emo would be to blow up on her/delete etc OR to jump like you are all excited with her dropping this minuscule breadcrumb in your lap while ignoring your date request. Prioritize your feelings and heart by not opening them up as much to someone who doesn't take care with them. (rather than go ballistic bc you aren't getting what you want). That way you are teaching the person that they need to show your reciprocal courtesy to be in your life on that level. It's also a great learning lesson for you in terms of handling an "issue" like that with a middle ground solution to still potentially get what you want (to date her) and foster better communication. (i am aware that initially you will not be communicating with her but next time you do you can say a little something, like hey you never got back to me about that date I offered--why or are you able to go OR if she calls you out in any way you can also gently tell her some version of expecting to stay communication works both ways--not saying it well but hopefully you get the point).

Edited June 24, 2018 by Versacehottie

[kendahke]

I'm going to disagree with this. I believe you still owe one another some basic courtesies and decencies whether you've been on one date or one hundred. This includes not ghosting somebody. If one person isn't feeling it while the other is, they should be decent and let the other person know instead of being a selfish coward without basic human decency or regard for another human being and their feelings.

 

 

What you're outlining are expectations and expectations are future resentments under construction, especially when they haven't developed the legs to stand on.

 

I disagree that you owe someone an explanation about anything after one date. What you're saying there is that you expect devotion from someone whose presence you've only been in one time. No one should be that heavily invested after just one date.

 

If the two of you have been seeing one another and have been incorporating one another in your lives for some time, then yeah it'd be nice if they said something, but at the end of the day, if they don't want to explain themselves and would rather disappear, then guess what they're going to do? You can tantrum and call them names all day long, but it's not going to make them want to be involved with you, so what's the point? To act out a hollywood scripted denouement where you read them for filth?

[Blake101]

Don't answer. While we may not agree on the theory behind some of the choices you have mentioned before, I absolutely agree that you should not be jumping to answer that IG message/post/story. She is jerking you around a bit and likes the attention if she still hasn't answered your question. I advocate not acting like an a** yourself, not signing up to be a doormat! As a guy who has better things to do & has effectively been blown off in a way, you don't jump when she pulls the puppet strings.

 

Anyway, i know people in college are on IG 24/7 & imagining that you are a very quick responder too since you give first and expect in return (which a lot of people take and have no real expectations and are very fluid which is why ppl like you get upset easily). Go on the theory that you are a college aged guy (right?) and they also have a tendency to be flakey and onto other things! It is certainly less emo to be right there waiting for her next message.

 

You should be lowering her priority because for whatever reason she has lowered yours. You don't stay focused on the goal you were focused on a few days ago (date her in a straightforward manner) because she hasn't shown you courtesy and consistency of someone who you do talk to every day for two months to answer the question. You mildly pull back--that's a normal response. Emo would be to blow up on her/delete etc OR to jump like you are all excited with her dropping this minuscule breadcrumb in your lap while ignoring your date request. Prioritize your feelings and heart by not opening them up as much to someone who doesn't take care with them. (rather than go ballistic bc you aren't getting what you want). That way you are teaching the person that they need to show your reciprocal courtesy to be in your life on that level. It's also a great learning lesson for you in terms of handling an "issue" like that with a middle ground solution to still potentially get what you want (to date her) and foster better communication. (i am aware that initially you will not be communicating with her but next time you do you can say a little something, like hey you never got back to me about that date I offered--why or are you able to go OR if she calls you out in any way you can also gently tell her some version of expecting to stay communication works both ways--not saying it well but hopefully you get the point).

 

Does it have to be direct communication? She sent me another snap saying she accidently had her credit cards pay off the rest of her car payments, so now she's broke but considering it's a pretty random thing to bring up, i'm not sure if that snap was directed towards just me. I know in the new update (4 months ago) you can't send mass snaps (so she have to have had to click on my name) but again i feel like these are breadcrumbs.

[Versacehottie]

Does it have to be direct communication? She sent me another snap saying she accidently had her credit cards pay off the rest of her car payments, so now she's broke but considering it's a pretty random thing to bring up, i'm not sure if that snap was directed towards just me. I know in the new update (4 months ago) you can't send mass snaps (so she have to have had to click on my name) but again i feel like these are breadcrumbs.

 

This is a grey area where we both may be over thinking how to address it:

 

*You can feign that you didn't know about the update regarding direct snaps and no more mass ones. Like just have that in your head to justify not replying and if it ever gets to a deeper discussion that can be your excuse.

 

*You can answer "is this for me???" or something to that effect. She is deliberately being vague and immature. That means she is half in/half out. Doesn't really matter the reason, such as if she is stressed from lack of money or not that into you or into some other guy. She is not treating you with respect really and yes they are breadcrumbs I would agree with that.

 

*Out of all the things she could tell you, she brings up a financial one? Do you think she is hoping that you are a financial savior to her? I mean she doesn't answer question about date, has been absent, is not drunk texting you cute things nor is she sexting you. The only thing you hear about are her money problems. Usually a sign that someone is willing to lean on you and perhaps use you.

 

*Personally, rather than overthink it, i would just reply if you feel like it or don't if you don't. I would take it on the content of the message (and that you have a much lower priority with her than previously imagined). So if you feel like discussing credit card bills and financial problems, then reply; if you don't, then don't. You could also reply with a different subject altogether or say some version of "i was wondering what happened to you since you never got back to me about going on that date--guess you have been dealing with a lot. is everything ok?". That at least asks the "why" question. I would take it off snapchat and at a minimum do it on text. Phone is much better though. Do you guys ever talk on the phone? I wouldn't feel particularly rushed or sucked in if you decide to reply. I'm of equal mind to say don't reply (though then that is playing games tbh). You could do a simple: "sorry to hear that". Low investment on her part, low investment on yours in return. No need to destroy a relationship or go ballistic, but give exactly what you are getting. Which is cryptic and nonsense at best. Goodluck

[Blake101]

This is a grey area where we both may be over thinking how to address it:

 

*You can feign that you didn't know about the update regarding direct snaps and no more mass ones. Like just have that in your head to justify not replying and if it ever gets to a deeper discussion that can be your excuse.

 

*You can answer "is this for me???" or something to that effect. She is deliberately being vague and immature. That means she is half in/half out. Doesn't really matter the reason, such as if she is stressed from lack of money or not that into you or into some other guy. She is not treating you with respect really and yes they are breadcrumbs I would agree with that.

 

*Out of all the things she could tell you, she brings up a financial one? Do you think she is hoping that you are a financial savior to her? I mean she doesn't answer question about date, has been absent, is not drunk texting you cute things nor is she sexting you. The only thing you hear about are her money problems. Usually a sign that someone is willing to lean on you and perhaps use you.

 

*Personally, rather than overthink it, i would just reply if you feel like it or don't if you don't. I would take it on the content of the message (and that you have a much lower priority with her than previously imagined). So if you feel like discussing credit card bills and financial problems, then reply; if you don't, then don't. You could also reply with a different subject altogether or say some version of "i was wondering what happened to you since you never got back to me about going on that date--guess you have been dealing with a lot. is everything ok?". That at least asks the "why" question. I would take it off snapchat and at a minimum do it on text. Phone is much better though. Do you guys ever talk on the phone? I wouldn't feel particularly rushed or sucked in if you decide to reply. I'm of equal mind to say don't reply (though then that is playing games tbh). You could do a simple: "sorry to hear that". Low investment on her part, low investment on yours in return. No need to destroy a relationship or go ballistic, but give exactly what you are getting. Which is cryptic and nonsense at best. Goodluck

 

She sent another one, irrelevant as well so I sent her one back saying "Sorry to hear that. At least it's payed off"

 

 

No response, as expected.

 

You're probably against this, but I might just call her tomorrow.

 

Crazy right? Putting in more effort, random as well but I before asking her out I actually wanted to have this conversation. Basically one, where it's not to define the relationship but an agreement to be transparent with one another. If one of us doesn't want to continue, then we tell the other person. Also let her know where I stand too. I don't want it to be any pressure or having expectations. We'll go at a pace that's comfortable. Because I have my doubts too, we'd be long distance over the summer and my last relationship fell through the cracks because of distance.

 

I've had this conversation 3 times already, with much success. One of them lead to a relationship, the other was a friends with benefits (who i'm still friends with) and the other let me know when she didn't want to continue seeing me. I had no resentment. I was glad she told me. We're friends now.

 

But i'm not sure, since it is a bit random. You probably think i'm crazy at this point. But thank you for your advice. It definitely has set a new perspective on things, which I feel is the whole point of these forums.

Edited June 25, 2018 by Blake101
Needed to add more details - also grammatical errors

[Versacehottie]

She sent another one, irrelevant as well so I sent her one back saying "Sorry to hear that. At least it's payed off"

 

 

No response, as expected.

 

You're probably against this, but I might just call her tomorrow.

 

Crazy right? Putting in more effort, random as well but I before asking her out I actually wanted to have this conversation. Basically one, where it's not define the relationship but an agreement to be transparent with one another. If one of us doesn't want to continue, then we tell the other person.

 

I've had this conversation 3 times already, with much success. One of them lead to a relationship, the other was a friends with benefits (who i'm still friends with) and the other let me know when she didn't want to continue seeing me. I had no resentment. I was glad she told me. We're friends now.

 

But i'm not sure, since it is a bit random. You probably think i'm crazy at this point. But thank you for your advice. It definitely has set a new perspective on things, which I feel is the whole point of these forums.

 

Hmmm, well i actually don't think that's bad. The thing is you would be communicating your expectations (and hopes) up front. That you'd like status updates in a way (continue or not). That's fair. And not emo. And see why finding the middle road has worked out well for you in the past in all 3 previous situations because you let people know what you wanted and expected. Thus even in the case where she didn't want to date you, you felt hear and didn't freak out. I do think that sometimes people can say this in a very pressure, negative or demanding/anxious way. As you said it here, it doesn't sound like you will. Depends on how you exactly word it & yes i agree with phone conversations for stuff like this (tone & more fluid & takes the other person into consideration & so much can be misconstrued by text).

 

I guess some guys (lets say that come to this site) say something to the effect of "it seems like you don't want to date me, if so just tell me now". Ugh (some girls too) I can't tell you how many times I've seen versions of this. Nope don't say that. Just non-judging, not coming to conclusion request that she will let you know what is going on with you two-- that you hope and are trying to see if she will agree to. Realize you will be putting her on the spot a bit (especially in light of fact she seems to have been dodging you a bit). So I don't think you should expect an immediate answer about where she stands right away, but hopefully she will agree to let you know when she knows. I do think inherently the statement/request itself kinda makes a person feel like they need to give you an immediate answer (not likely to be good) because you aren't really dating; you've been on a handful of dates so that's different than a commitment to each other or even regular consistent dating.

 

I do think it's good that you feel like you've learned more about yourself and some other perspectives. I really think if you've been tending to think of life in terms of "shoulds" you've probably been self-sabotaging some stuff AND it can become a negative circle where it reinforces negative thought processes you have about life, other people, the way things should go, and your own self-esteem.

[Chris2016]

What you're outlining are expectations and expectations are future resentments under construction, especially when they haven't developed the legs to stand on.

 

I disagree that you owe someone an explanation about anything after one date. What you're saying there is that you expect devotion from someone whose presence you've only been in one time. No one should be that heavily invested after just one date.

 

If the two of you have been seeing one another and have been incorporating one another in your lives for some time, then yeah it'd be nice if they said something, but at the end of the day, if they don't want to explain themselves and would rather disappear, then guess what they're going to do? You can tantrum and call them names all day long, but it's not going to make them want to be involved with you, so what's the point? To act out a hollywood scripted denouement where you read them for filth?

 

Sometimes I wonder if it depends on which gender is ghosting. If girl ghost, dude grow up (she ghosted). If guy ghost, dude grow up (common courtesy is you communicate to her, like an adult).

[kendahke]

Sometimes I wonder if it depends on which gender is ghosting. If girl ghost, dude grow up (she ghosted). If guy ghost, dude grow up.

 

Yeah, pretty much... I mean, what can they really to do about it? Be mad is about all... but they can't force someone to be in a relationship with them if that person doesn't want to be with them, certainly not after one date, which is what my point was centered around.

[Blake101]

Hmmm, well i actually don't think that's bad. The thing is you would be communicating your expectations (and hopes) up front. That you'd like status updates in a way (continue or not). That's fair. And not emo. And see why finding the middle road has worked out well for you in the past in all 3 previous situations because you let people know what you wanted and expected. Thus even in the case where she didn't want to date you, you felt hear and didn't freak out. I do think that sometimes people can say this in a very pressure, negative or demanding/anxious way. As you said it here, it doesn't sound like you will. Depends on how you exactly word it & yes i agree with phone conversations for stuff like this (tone & more fluid & takes the other person into consideration & so much can be misconstrued by text).

 

I guess some guys (lets say that come to this site) say something to the effect of "it seems like you don't want to date me, if so just tell me now". Ugh (some girls too) I can't tell you how many times I've seen versions of this. Nope don't say that. Just non-judging, not coming to conclusion request that she will let you know what is going on with you two-- that you hope and are trying to see if she will agree to. Realize you will be putting her on the spot a bit (especially in light of fact she seems to have been dodging you a bit). So I don't think you should expect an immediate answer about where she stands right away, but hopefully she will agree to let you know when she knows. I do think inherently the statement/request itself kinda makes a person feel like they need to give you an immediate answer (not likely to be good) because you aren't really dating; you've been on a handful of dates so that's different than a commitment to each other or even regular consistent dating.

 

I do think it's good that you feel like you've learned more about yourself and some other perspectives. I really think if you've been tending to think of life in terms of "shoulds" you've probably been self-sabotaging some stuff AND it can become a negative circle where it reinforces negative thought processes you have about life, other people, the way things should go, and your own self-esteem.

 

I've been going back and forth on this one. Because you're right, it does put them on the spot. There's pressure. So i've also thought about not doing it entirely. The problem is I don't have her phone number. So I can only call her through snapchat, so I can't even leave a voicemail. And what if she ignores the call - dismisses it. Should I even text her what I wanted to tell her? Probably not. Seems like i'm being overzealous.

 

I'm also going out of my way of to reach out to her even though she's been lukewarm. I don't want to just keep ignoring her, because that just shows i'm petty. But I'm not sure how long I want this weird "game" to last.

 

It's not all been bad though. As of recently, I've been able to get two dates so far in the next couple of days. One of them actually went to the same high school as her, and are of the same age (so they probably know each other, or of each other )

 

It has been a pretty hectic couple of days. Initially I let my emotions get the best of me. I was hurt. I was frustrated, angry, simply not composed.

 

But now i'm doing well. My only issue is I really did enjoy my time with her, which is rare for me. So I would like to see her again. But I don't know. You just never know with these kinds of things.

[Versacehottie]

I've been going back and forth on this one. Because you're right, it does put them on the spot. There's pressure. So i've also thought about not doing it entirely. The problem is I don't have her phone number. So I can only call her through snapchat, so I can't even leave a voicemail. And what if she ignores the call - dismisses it. Should I even text her what I wanted to tell her? Probably not. Seems like i'm being overzealous.

 

I'm also going out of my way of to reach out to her even though she's been lukewarm. I don't want to just keep ignoring her, because that just shows i'm petty. But I'm not sure how long I want this weird "game" to last.

 

It's not all been bad though. As of recently, I've been able to get two dates so far in the next couple of days. One of them actually went to the same high school as her, and are of the same age (so they probably know each other, or of each other )

 

It has been a pretty hectic couple of days. Initially I let my emotions get the best of me. I was hurt. I was frustrated, angry, simply not composed.

But now i'm doing well. My only issue is I really did enjoy my time with her, which is rare for me. So I would like to see her again. But I don't know. You just never know with these kinds of things.

 

Glad you can see this part now. That was basic gist of what some of us were saying: being petty to cover up your anger, hurt or disappointment doesn't fool many and doesn't help YOUR cause. So if you really enjoyed your time with her, I would say to not go out with the girls from her high school. That kinda will put her in a point of no return. That's if you feel like being a gentleman or hanging on a bit longer. If you don't feel like hanging on a bit longer, then by all means go out with the girl from her high school.

 

So my instinct is that you should drop requesting that you let each other know where the other stands at this point. It's kinda stalled so that means the status is implied (not moving forward per se/dating others). You should do what all my college guy friends did & still do when they are dating around. She is putting you on the back burner it would seem (finding her on tinder may have implied that getting serious/feeling obligated was not where her head is at)...so you put her on the back burner. Doesn't mean it's over for good, but there is no rush to define or push things in one direction or another, since there isn't any current activity. You know, i've found that it's better not to put a person in a place of "no return". It's fizzling a little so you ride that wave as it is and often you will find things turned around--and especially if you haven't destroyed them by being dramatic, its easy to pick back up and continue when the other person is in a better headspace. It's college so that moment can be in a matter of days/weeks. And you are dating other girls so you haven't much to lose at all.

 

i know she made an good impact. but her behavior right now isn't so bf worthy. Take it for what it is; no reason to hate; just circle back around when the time is better. Listen, being in limbo usually niggles at people. You have been more steadfast and reliable it sounds like to me & more proactive about what you want. Usually if she has a crush on you or is into you & knows you are not mad, it will bug her or make her curious as to why you've dropped off---like it is doing to YOU now. If you are mad or do something stupid, she will rebel & cut you off, because she will have concrete evidence that you're a jerk. If you aren't mad or upset or demanding, but mature in that you don't give time (via your actions or rather non-action) or attention to people that jerk you around, a lot of times they will come back around or wake up. Just a thought. You can see her again--it just may take a little patience and "longer game". In college time, that's practically nothing You'll hear from her again--I'd bet on it. Good luck

[Blake101]

Glad you can see this part now. That was basic gist of what some of us were saying: being petty to cover up your anger, hurt or disappointment doesn't fool many and doesn't help YOUR cause. So if you really enjoyed your time with her, I would say to not go out with the girls from her high school. That kinda will put her in a point of no return. That's if you feel like being a gentleman or hanging on a bit longer. If you don't feel like hanging on a bit longer, then by all means go out with the girl from her high school.

 

So my instinct is that you should drop requesting that you let each other know where the other stands at this point. It's kinda stalled so that means the status is implied (not moving forward per se/dating others). You should do what all my college guy friends did & still do when they are dating around. She is putting you on the back burner it would seem (finding her on tinder may have implied that getting serious/feeling obligated was not where her head is at)...so you put her on the back burner. Doesn't mean it's over for good, but there is no rush to define or push things in one direction or another, since there isn't any current activity. You know, i've found that it's better not to put a person in a place of "no return". It's fizzling a little so you ride that wave as it is and often you will find things turned around--and especially if you haven't destroyed them by being dramatic, its easy to pick back up and continue when the other person is in a better headspace. It's college so that moment can be in a matter of days/weeks. And you are dating other girls so you haven't much to lose at all.

 

i know she made an good impact. but her behavior right now isn't so bf worthy. Take it for what it is; no reason to hate; just circle back around when the time is better. Listen, being in limbo usually niggles at people. You have been more steadfast and reliable it sounds like to me & more proactive about what you want. Usually if she has a crush on you or is into you & knows you are not mad, it will bug her or make her curious as to why you've dropped off---like it is doing to YOU now. If you are mad or do something stupid, she will rebel & cut you off, because she will have concrete evidence that you're a jerk. If you aren't mad or upset or demanding, but mature in that you don't give time (via your actions or rather non-action) or attention to people that jerk you around, a lot of times they will come back around or wake up. Just a thought. You can see her again--it just may take a little patience and "longer game". In college time, that's practically nothing You'll hear from her again--I'd bet on it. Good luck

 

So.....I called her. And to my surprise, we had a great conversation. It came to the point where I was contemplating even bringing up "the topic" but I did it anyways because I knew i'd regret it if I didn't. She took it well, and we were in agreement. Made me realize I was overthinking things. On her end, things were fine.

 

I did bring up how she left me on read, and I was confused with the mixed signals and she started to laugh a lot (maybe too much lol) and said she that she 1. Is really bad with communication - has lost a lot of friends because so (she got distracted and forgot the message on the snap) 2. She didn't want me to keep having to ask for days off of work, because it would be most convinient to her. She said she felt guilty everytime.

 

Lastly, I did go on one of the dates last night. Was not a fan, probably won't see her again and the other one is tonight. The one who i'm going out with tonight does know the original girl so I really have to be careful with this one but i'll see what happens. I can't really put all my effort into someone who isn't showing gf potential, even though I really do enjoy talking with her.

 

We'll see. The last thing on the phone call is that if she ever wants to go out, to let me know. The thing is, I want to ask her out again. On the phone this time, so we can plan it out accordingly.

 

She sent me some snaps yesterday, eventually left her on read (I didn't know what to say). Haven't heard from her today, plan on talking to her tomorrow.