stillafool Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 Well the good news is now you really know you're over your ex. This was just a fling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 19, 2018 Author Share Posted June 19, 2018 Well the good news is now you really know you're over your ex. This was just a fling. Haha, i already realized that months ago... Im just unlucky in love. I always like the wrong ones including my ex-fiancé & push away people that really want to be with me. Link to post Share on other sites
RideTheLightening Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 As I reflect on this thread based on my own experiences... I don't think I've ever fallen in love with an FWB. I've had many in the past, but I've never caught feelings for one. I've learned with absolute certainty that if I do or say specific things an FWB will catch feelings for me. Women that put me off and make it hard are always the ones I feel more for... Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 Here's something you want to learn ... When someone tells you about a problem they have, believe them. Believe them. Assume they are right. I once had a woman tell me early on that she was lazy. I sat there and tried to argue her out of it ... pushed aside what she said ... Well guess what ... later I learned she was ... well if not lazy ... then really really passive ... as in she just went with a day-to-day flow ... and didn't really have any goals she was working to achieve. I could have listened to her. If someone says they are thinking of their ex, THEY ARE THINKING OF THEIR EX. They would not bring that up if they weren't. Flirt if you want ... but don't get attached. You will get burned ... You can't help someone get over their ex. That process has to run its course ... Nothing you can do ... nothing about how great you are ... or how well you treat him ... or the chemistry you feel ... can overcome that time he needs to fully let go of this other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 20, 2018 Author Share Posted June 20, 2018 Here's something you want to learn ... When someone tells you about a problem they have, believe them. Believe them. Assume they are right. I once had a woman tell me early on that she was lazy. I sat there and tried to argue her out of it ... pushed aside what she said ... Well guess what ... later I learned she was ... well if not lazy ... then really really passive ... as in she just went with a day-to-day flow ... and didn't really have any goals she was working to achieve. I could have listened to her. If someone says they are thinking of their ex, THEY ARE THINKING OF THEIR EX. They would not bring that up if they weren't. Flirt if you want ... but don't get attached. You will get burned ... You can't help someone get over their ex. That process has to run its course ... Nothing you can do ... nothing about how great you are ... or how well you treat him ... or the chemistry you feel ... can overcome that time he needs to fully let go of this other person. Yes i do believe him. I do empathize with him also. He showed me some pictures of him with her. I was emotionally unavailable last year also but i was wondering if he came around last year i would have definitely gave him a chance and definitely helped me forget my ex ! Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted June 20, 2018 Share Posted June 20, 2018 Yes i do believe him. I do empathize with him also. He showed me some pictures of him with her. I was emotionally unavailable last year also but i was wondering if he came around last year i would have definitely gave him a chance and definitely helped me forget my ex ! Sometimes in life things never happen the way we want it too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 20, 2018 Author Share Posted June 20, 2018 i guess im gonna spend the last 2 weeks in my station here enjoying my time with him with a mindset that nothing more will happen. Once i step on my country ground again, i will forgot what happened back in Egypt and proceed with my life. Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver77 Posted June 20, 2018 Share Posted June 20, 2018 (edited) Going to give a guy's perspective. I was in that guy's position but recently I've met an amazing woman. I can easily see this guy's problem and why he isn't worth your time. As a guy who was struggling with feelings for my ex, I'm came to a conclusion I was struggling with a fantasy and not the actual person. He either isn't there yet or don't want to ever get there. As a guy, I'm telling you to don't waste your time. He obviously wants to use you to help him get over her physically and he can't give you his heart. One of the first conversations that he should have discussed with you was one about his ex. If the guy couldn't be honest about that, you can't count on him being honest about so much other stuff. His ex is renting so much space in his brain, that should have been a natural, honest conversation for him if he wanted you for more than an ego stroke. Guys can come off as charming but if he can't be honest, he will be problematic down the road. I say all of this because I did the opposite. Was strictly looking for a platonic relationship, told this woman I was seeing all about my situation, eventually realized my ex wasn't what I thought she was, and then a couple of weeks later I made a strong connection with this amazing woman who liked the fact I was honest with her from the beginning. There are billions of men on the planet earth, this guy isn't worth your time. He needs to get his head straight but I wouldn't bank on it. He has some other work to do before he can get there. Be true to yourself and you'll attract the right relationship for you. Bank on it. Edited June 20, 2018 by StartingOver77 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 20, 2018 Author Share Posted June 20, 2018 Going to give a guy's perspective. I was in that guy's position but recently I've met an amazing woman. I can easily see this guy's problem and why he isn't worth your time. As a guy who was struggling with feelings for my ex, I'm came to a conclusion I was struggling with a fantasy and not the actual person. He either isn't there yet or don't want to ever get there. As a guy, I'm telling you to don't waste your time. He obviously wants to use you to help him get over her physically and he can't give you his heart. One of the first conversations that he should have discussed with you was one about his ex. If the guy couldn't be honest about that, you can't count on him being honest about so much other stuff. His ex is renting so much space in his brain, that should have been a natural, honest conversation for him if he wanted you for more than an ego stroke. Guys can come off as charming but if he can't be honest, he will be problematic down the road. I say all of this because I did the opposite. Was strictly looking for a platonic relationship, told this woman I was seeing all about my situation, eventually realized my ex wasn't what I thought she was, and then a couple of weeks later I made a strong connection with this amazing woman who liked the fact I was honest with her from the beginning. There are billions of men on the planet earth, this guy isn't worth your time. He needs to get his head straight but I wouldn't bank on it. He has some other work to do before he can get there. Be true to yourself and you'll attract the right relationship for you. Bank on it. Actually he was honest with me from the beginning, we just went on 2 dates when he told me and i dont think it was the right time to tell me about her from the first date since it was not convenient. I appreciated his honesty but there is something about emotionally unavailable guys for women and now I'm going crazy in the head. I REALLY CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM AND THIS IS NOT ME AT ALL !!!!! i can control myself but with this guy i feel like i cant control it anymore !! wth is happening with me ? i hope its just because im alone in a foreign country ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StartingOver77 Posted June 20, 2018 Share Posted June 20, 2018 (edited) Actually he was honest with me from the beginning, we just went on 2 dates when he told me and i dont think it was the right time to tell me about her from the first date since it was not convenient. I appreciated his honesty but there is something about emotionally unavailable guys for women and now I'm going crazy in the head. I REALLY CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM AND THIS IS NOT ME AT ALL !!!!! i can control myself but with this guy i feel like i cant control it anymore !! wth is happening with me ? i hope its just because im alone in a foreign country ! I feel for you. I've been there as well, alone in a foreign country and it's very easy to want to reach out for someone for companionship. It's an overwhelming experience! This guy, unfortunately, brought his baggage to you while you were in a vulnerable state. Going to be honest here....I've spent time contracting overseas so I've been this selfish guy before. If he is still married (just my suspicion), you don't want to be the one to come in between that especially if he is still trying to figure out things with her. I am so sorry he did this to you. I hurt someone like that and I regret it to this day. It's going to hurt but you'll get him out of your head eventually. If he works with you, it's going to be roooooooouuuuuuugggggh. While overseas, DO NOT get involved with someone in the work place. You can't just pack up and move to another employer in most situations, overseas is more difficult. Stay positive, you'll get through it. What you are feeling is normal, it is just going to take time to get over. Your heart wanted to reach out because being alone in a new country will do a number on your head. Try to reach out and make friends instead, they will be a big help now and more later down the road. Edited June 20, 2018 by StartingOver77 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 Hey all, well to make an update about my situation, i guess what i was passing through the last 2 days was just a hormonal effect of Oxycontin, the bond hormone that usually men cant feel after sex but only women. Yesterday at work he was really acting awkward and nervous and i know that he is kind of freaking out but when we met at work i really let myself act normally and asked him if he wants to watch movies in a very friendly way and he told of course we will ill look for a movie and send u the links. after work, he sent me a message apologizing and telling me he cant make it today as he has a family issue and he will make it up for me. Today morning, he came to my office and asked me i hate him now, i told him of course no i had plans anyway. He looked so tired and i asked him why and he told me that he will tell me later what is going on with him. I guess his libido energy is coming back again while im getting power back haha Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 You're not getting back power, OP. Quite the opposite. You've just handed it right back over to him. This guy has told you he's not ready for anything and he's still hung up on his ex. And you're offering to watch movies together? I am not sure why you're doing this to yourself when you know what the outcome will be. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 You're not getting back power, OP. Quite the opposite. You've just handed it right back over to him. This guy has told you he's not ready for anything and he's still hung up on his ex. And you're offering to watch movies together? I am not sure why you're doing this to yourself when you know what the outcome will be. yeah i regret asking him this now, i dont know what occurred to my mind lol. But i just feel like the tension that was in the last 2 days post-sex is fading and he winning interest again. As i mentioned before, i will keep seeing this guy because i do like him and i know once i come back to my country i will forget, this was always me, i move on from flings. But i dont want him to gain power over me and i dont want to sound clingy or needy in any way. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 yeah i regret asking him this now, i dont know what occurred to my mind lol. But i just feel like the tension that was in the last 2 days post-sex is fading and he winning interest again. As i mentioned before, i will keep seeing this guy because i do like him and i know once i come back to my country i will forget, this was always me, i move on from flings. But i dont want him to gain power over me and i dont want to sound clingy or needy in any way. This is just game-playing at this point, OP. Power shouldn't even factor into something that is a temporary fling. Your words and actions don't line up and you're setting yourself up to get hurt, my friend. You're framing this like some cat-and-mouse dance, when really, he's got this other woman in his heart and mind. For him, yes, he's attracted enough to sleep with you but his romantic priority isn't you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 yeah i regret asking him this now, i dont know what occurred to my mind lol. But i just feel like the tension that was in the last 2 days post-sex is fading and he winning interest again. This is a game to you. But i dont want him to gain power over me and i dont want to sound clingy or needy in any way. Too late. You've got a zip code there now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 Well, i do like him and i want to keep him talking with me and asking me out and then when its time i go back home, if im already too attached i will take a little bit of time and move on. BUT RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT HIM TO CHASE ME LIKE HE DID BEFORE SLEEPING WITH ME Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 I'm sure he liked you just fine, he's telling you that he's not over the ex because he WON'T get over the ex. He's saying this is his excuse. Move on or he's going to hurt you terrible. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 Well, i do like him and i want to keep him talking with me and asking me out and then when its time i go back home, if im already too attached i will take a little bit of time and move on. BUT RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT HIM TO CHASE ME LIKE HE DID BEFORE SLEEPING WITH ME Chances are, that's not going to happen if he hasn't kept up since you slept with him. So you need to come up with a plan B for the remainder of your time in Egypt. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 Chances are, that's not going to happen if he hasn't kept up since you slept with him. So you need to come up with a plan B for the remainder of your time in Egypt. Yeah, i already am trying to look for a plan B. Its hard since im not friends with anyone but today after work i will go to an art gallery. Then weekend comes and thats when im gonna feel really really lonely. I have some 2 colleagues that gave me their numbers, i will ask them out. I will tan on the pool, read a book... geez Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 I just wanna add that before yesterday, he asked me for my hotel extra key so he can come whenever he wants when i allow him of course. That was after sleeping together. Plus when i told him i had a fun night yesterday, he told me why you re saying this as if it is going to be our last night ? i told him i dont know but it feels like it, he told me no if i'd bet on it it is certainly reoccurring. Link to post Share on other sites
warp123 Posted June 21, 2018 Share Posted June 21, 2018 "i finally started having feelings for someone but he said he is not over his ex" sorry i didnt read anything else, no need just run away Link to post Share on other sites
Author toomanyquestions123 Posted June 21, 2018 Author Share Posted June 21, 2018 "i finally started having feelings for someone but he said he is not over his ex" sorry i didnt read anything else, no need just run away Working on it but this **** is so hard Link to post Share on other sites
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