Interracial dating, is society more accepting than 25 years ago

[Robert]

Let's keep the posts topical, meaning about interracial dating and being more accepted than 25 years ago.

 

 

Thanks

[fredflint]

Hello:

 

I would like to hear if you believe society is more accepting with interracial dating nowadays as compared to 25 years ago, along with general thoughts and observations on the subject.

 

I am a 45 year old married white female and I first started dating black guys in high school and continued to do so in college. I was an "equal opportunity" dater, in which I dated about an equal amount of both black and white.

 

Back then in general both my family and society were not overly accepting of me having a black boyfriend. My family quietly accepted it but I knew deep down inside they were not happy about. When out in public with a black boyfriend I would hear snide remarks such as " what is an attractive blonde like her doing with a black man". The bottom line was I felt pressure to marry white which I did.

 

Fast forward to the present and at least in my area of the country interracial dating is much more common and for the most part accepted. Both my niece and i young best friend of mine, both white, and married black men with from what I can tell all friends and family members are 100% ok with it.

 

So please share your thoughts on interracial dating along with any first hand experience Looking forward to hearing back.

 

If you believe interracial dating is OK (as I do) and it shouldn't even be a question (also as I do), then who cares what anyone else thinks. Live your own values and if anyone judges you, that's on them. Their judgment defines them, not you.

[Michelle ma Belle]

It depends on where you live. In Canada, no one really cares what colour you are. It might be an issue to a traditional family but not publicly/in general. Some parts of the states, oh hell ya it's an issue. Segregation still exists too.

 

 

Interracial dating is not really the issue with people now a days, it's the transgender thing that's got people up in arms.

 

I couldn't agree more. The last several relationships I've been in, including my current partner, have been with black men and many of them American.

 

I notice(d) a huge difference between interracial dating in Canada versus interracial dating in the USA...HUGE!

 

Whenever my partner(s) would come up to visit me in Canada, it was pretty easy to forget we were of two different races. Compare that to when I'd go down to the States, and we were reminded almost daily, in one way or another, that we do NOT belong together.

 

Americans, particularly in certain states, are not only very vocal about their disdain for interracial dating but are borderline abusive. Shameful if you ask me. It was a very eye-opening experience for me that only made me all the prouder to be a Canadian.

[Timshel]

Let's keep the posts topical, meaning about interracial dating and being more accepted than 25 years ago.

 

 

Thanks

 

 

My mistake Robert. I should have elaborated and wrote, the guy who showed a pic of racism is the same guy who asked me on several occasions for a date, out. Dinner, movies and to be fair, a perfect gentleman.

 

 

 

The way my post segue's into interracial dating is that this hood wearer has repeatedly asked out a woman (me) who is of olive complexion, often spoken to in espanol and not of lilly Caucasian appearance.

 

 

I should have made myself more plain. As a woman of color, who 'passes' and I am not even mixed, Greek; in the area I live in, my opinion is that although racism and prejudice have much improved...

Realistically, it's abundant.

 

 

I would hope that no person decides whether or not to love another person based on ethnicity or skin color.

 

 

Peace.

[thefooloftheyear]

I find that the differences that caused the breakups were more cultural or religious than racial. Dating a third generation immigrant is far different from dating someone who just moved to the country. Sometimes those cultural differences cause problems that are difficult to overcome.

 

True...

 

And I think sometimes people get painted with a racist/bigot label unnecessarily due to this...

 

I come from an ethnic background where most of us wound up dating/marrying into our own ethnicity...It wasn't due to excluding of others, more because most individuals within an ethnic group just tend to more easily relate to one another...What is expected is a lot less ambiguous..

 

Many other ethnic groups(and races) do the same...They shouldn't be shunned for it, or even shamed for suggesting it of their kids and family members....Finding compatible partners is hard enough even under ideal conditions, some just choose not to add another dimension...

 

TFY

[JuneL]

I think the OP and other posters were talking about how others view interracial couples. Obviously, no one would say you are racist simply because you never have never dated outside of your own ethnic background.

 

 

True...

 

And I think sometimes people get painted with a racist/bigot label unnecessarily due to this...

 

I come from an ethnic background where most of us wound up dating/marrying into our own ethnicity...It wasn't due to excluding of others, more because most individuals within an ethnic group just tend to more easily relate to one another...What is expected is a lot less ambiguous..

 

Many other ethnic groups(and races) do the same...They shouldn't be shunned for it, or even shamed for suggesting it of their kids and family members....Finding compatible partners is hard enough even under ideal conditions, some just choose not to add another dimension...

 

TFY

[thefooloftheyear]

I think the OP and other posters were talking about how others view interracial couples. Obviously, no one would say you are racist simply because you never have never dated outside of your own ethnic background.

 

 

Understood...

 

But you missed the point....

 

Often blacks and whites have the same types of obstacles that have nothing to do with racism...If people are deciding that these types of obstacles are that reason they choose to not want to interracial date/marry/etc, then they will probably be labeled racist....Which would be just as unfair as saying someone was wrong for not dating outside their ethnic background(which you are saying is socially acceptable)..

 

TFY

[Timshel]

Of course racism is racism. Most people, even the most repressed racists understand that it is what it is.

 

 

Preference is not racist but the two are so intertwined that no intelligent person will come forward in case of appearing backward. Lol!

 

 

 

Interracial dating more accepted than 25 yrs. ago, yes.

[MWC BlondeKim]

Glad my post started a discussion with responses that were both insightful and positive.

 

I am happy to say it was never and issue with my white husband about my interracial dating history or as he puts it "it shows I am open minded which is always a positive attribute"

[No_Go]

Oh it's not but people learned to (sort of) fake it well

 

I'm white woman, BF is black guy. We live in one of the most multicultural places on Earth. Nevertheless - every time walking in a store, restaurant or on a hike we get the 'looks' We're both extremely observant and always notice. Some people comment it's cute (WTF??) others just keep it to looks.

 

Well, it could be it's not the color but the fact we're always walking around with 2-3 dogs of various sizes and he's taller than most :lmao:. No idea and I can't care less. But yeah, people are racists and close-minded in their vast majority and it's not gonna change any time soon, but certainly people will get better at faking it...

[Mysterio]

I am a Black Canadian 47 Male born in 1971. I rarely get any racial flack. You know what I notice. The ones that are racist are the type that always come off like a Rosanne/Archie Bunker type of person. They are never the person that have clear diction in their speech. Or they are very on the ball with matters.

 

Thats what I see and hear for the most part. At this stage of life. Racism will most likely die down. If there was real racism. Then Obama would not have been elected. Look at the pounding that Trump gets. Obama had it way a easier than Trump did and Obama was black.

 

I find myself as a Black man. I usually date white women. The reason is because they are in my social environment. I listen to a lot of Rock and Roll/Jazz/Soul music. A little Heavy Metal. My friends are mostly White, Male and Female.

 

I suspect that I will most likely be with a White female, long term, because they are in my physical environment more than anything else.

[5x5]

I am a white British/Australian dual national, of (according to my DNA) mostly Highland Scottish, Scandinavian and Anglo Saxon genetic ancestry. Yet I had no problem marrying my English ex-wife circa 27½ years ago, even though her first language was French and she was of mostly black African slave and white French ancestry.

 

Where we lived the only notable racism I encountered was that in her extended family, plenty of them were rather racist. While her father was looked down upon for being very black and more African, versus her mother who was also Creole yet more French (white).

 

None of that stopped us getting married and having a child together.

 

Likewise although it is not as stark, my now (2nd) wife, who I have had two children with is Sicilian. Yet she also comes form a melting pot as well, since her DNA says she is part North African, Middle Eastern, Italian, Greek and descendant of people from the Caucasus as well.

 

I've no doubt some people today, don't like interracial marriages, yet there are also plenty of people who don't see it as an issue at all.

 

I don't care who people choose as partners, except I hope they choose to be with people they want to be with.

[JuneL]

Understood...

 

But you missed the point....

 

Often blacks and whites have the same types of obstacles that have nothing to do with racism...If people are deciding that these types of obstacles are that reason they choose to not want to interracial date/marry/etc, then they will probably be labeled racist....Which would be just as unfair as saying someone was wrong for not dating outside their ethnic background(which you are saying is socially acceptable)..

 

TFY

 

How you choose you date/marry is entirely your personal preferences. I don’t think people would say a man is obesist simply because he stays away from obese women

[Gaeta]

I couldn't agree more. The last several relationships I've been in, including my current partner, have been with black men and many of them American.

 

I notice(d) a huge difference between interracial dating in Canada versus interracial dating in the USA...HUGE!

 

Whenever my partner(s) would come up to visit me in Canada, it was pretty easy to forget we were of two different races. Compare that to when I'd go down to the States, and we were reminded almost daily, in one way or another, that we do NOT belong together.

 

Americans, particularly in certain states, are not only very vocal about their disdain for interracial dating but are borderline abusive. Shameful if you ask me. It was a very eye-opening experience for me that only made me all the prouder to be a Canadian.

 

My BF has been dying we go visit NY and Boston and I am too afraid we go. He's born in the Carribeans and raised in France. Yes he's known prejudice and racism in France but nothing like we will experience visiting the US. He's also a typical European French which means he's got a big mouth and can be confrontational, that could get him shot. He laughs at me when I tell him this but I am pretty serious.

 

 

We visit Ontario instead lol

 

 

.

[thefooloftheyear]

How you choose you date/marry is entirely your personal preferences. I don’t think people would say a man is obesist simply because he stays away from obese women

 

 

No he wouldn't....And you wouldn't be judged harshly for not dating guys with small dicks or short stature..Its a choice and we all can relate although some may not like it...

 

But once you say you don't date/marry black then you are no longer looked at as making a choice...You are deliberately being racist in the eyes of many.....

 

TFY

[Logo]

My BF has been dying we go visit NY and Boston and I am too afraid we go. He's born in the Carribeans and raised in France. Yes he's known prejudice and racism in France but nothing like we will experience visiting the US. He's also a typical European French which means he's got a big mouth and can be confrontational, that could get him shot. He laughs at me when I tell him this but I am pretty serious.

 

 

We visit Ontario instead lol

 

 

.

 

Don’t limit yourself because of fear. Some people fear traveling to overseas destinations based on preconceived notions. And in some cases those notions are wrong.

 

As for the US, as long as you stay north of the Mason Dixon line, you should be fine. And the cities you mentioned are multicultural, anyway. You’ll blend in better in the downtown areas that are mixed, but less so if you venture into nearby homogeneous neighborhoods on the outskirts of those cities.

[Logo]

No he wouldn't....And you wouldn't be judged harshly for not dating guys with small dicks or short stature..Its a choice and we all can relate although some may not like it...

 

But once you say you don't date/marry black then you are no longer looked at as making a choice...You are deliberately being racist in the eyes of many.....

 

TFY

 

I might have missed a post or two further up, but I hope I’m on message.

 

I think the distinction that makes the difference in the way the two cases you mentioned are treated is important. The underlying factor is intent. In other words, I could say that I don’t date or marry most (not all, but most) people of a certain racial, ethnic or religious background because of my need to have more common ground (based on norms and customs, for example. Or age) with other groups, or because I have a very specific physical attraction to certain physical features.

 

 

But if I don’t qualify my answer, just like with any other form of communication, the listener is left filling in the gaps based on history, social norms, customs and so on.

 

So if someone came out and said I don’t date members from such and such group because they smell, they’re vulgar, they can’t be trusted, they’re lazy, they’re all thieves, they’re selfish, then I think you’ll agree , it’s a whole different ballgame.

[thefooloftheyear]

I might have missed a post or two further up, but I hope I’m on message.

 

I think the distinction that makes the difference in the way the two cases you mentioned are treated is important. The underlying factor is intent. In other words, I could say that I don’t date or marry most (not all, but most) people of a certain racial, ethnic or religious background because of my need to have more common ground (based on norms and customs, for example. Or age) with other groups, or because I have a very specific physical attraction to certain physical features.

 

 

But if I don’t qualify my answer, just like with any other form of communication, the listener is left filling in the gaps based on history, social norms, customs and so on.

So if someone came out and said I don’t date members from such and such group because they smell, they’re vulgar, they can’t be trusted, they’re lazy, they’re all thieves, they’re selfish, then I think you’ll agree , it’s a whole different ballgame.

 

 

They'll just think you are lying no matter what you say or how you try to qualify it..Not all, but most will...It's human nature, especially for those that may have been victimized by racial discrimination..

 

I have a certain look/attitude that, for some reason, attracts black women ...Point is I have been through this more than once in my life..

 

I mean, do you really think someone is going to say they don't date black because they don't like black people or find them inferior(or the other examples you used in your last paragraph)? Of course not, so they will couch it, and use some other rationale...Its then up to them to decide how they want to take it...Most will assume its because of discrimination..

 

TFY

[Logo]

TFY,

 

The couching happens in polite company, in public, because many like to pretend they are not racists and are afraid of being shamed, at least until recent years.

 

But in tigh knit groups, or in homogeneous groups, there is little couching going on and overt racist views being voiced. And this is among younger generations, too.

 

I always cringe when I meet knew people and once they feel comfortable around me they start opening up about this group and that group. It’s happened on several occasions over the years to the point that I sometimes wonder if we’ve indeed made any substantial progress in the last 30 years.

[Timshel]

They'll just think you are lying no matter what you say or how you try to qualify it..Not all, but most will...It's human nature, especially for those that may have been victimized by racial discrimination..

 

I have a certain look/attitude that, for some reason, attracts black women ...Point is I have been through this more than once in my life..

 

I mean, do you really think someone is going to say they don't date black because they don't like black people or find them inferior(or the other examples you used in your last paragraph)? Of course not, so they will couch it, and use some other rationale...Its then up to them to decide how they want to take it...Most will assume its because of discrimination..

 

TFY

 

 

TFY, no one gives a nilly which person someone chooses to date, brings to parties or brings to meet mom.

 

It may raise an eyebrow when a person feels the need to discuss which ethnicity's a person will or will not date.

Keep it to oneself.

 

 

It does feel uncomfortable for any person to discuss with peers these finer preferences, tmi, who cares.

 

 

I agree with Logo about some people becoming comfortable to a point that it is impossible not to realize that they are flaming racists.

Peripherally understanding true opinions regarding interracial dating.

[Woggle]

No he wouldn't....And you wouldn't be judged harshly for not dating guys with small dicks or short stature..Its a choice and we all can relate although some may not like it...

 

But once you say you don't date/marry black then you are no longer looked at as making a choice...You are deliberately being racist in the eyes of many.....

 

TFY

 

Who somebody does and doesn't date is their business and doesn't make them racist but if you get mad over who somebody else dates because of their race then yes that is racist. With how hard it is to find genuine love these days why judge somebody who finds it with somebody of another race.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Hello:

 

I would like to hear if you believe society is more accepting with interracial dating nowadays as compared to 25 years ago, along with general thoughts and observations on the subject.

 

I am a 45 year old married white female and I first started dating black guys in high school and continued to do so in college. I was an "equal opportunity" dater, in which I dated about an equal amount of both black and white.

 

Back then in general both my family and society were not overly accepting of me having a black boyfriend. My family quietly accepted it but I knew deep down inside they were not happy about. When out in public with a black boyfriend I would hear snide remarks such as " what is an attractive blonde like her doing with a black man". The bottom line was I felt pressure to marry white which I did.

 

Fast forward to the present and at least in my area of the country interracial dating is much more common and for the most part accepted. Both my niece and i young best friend of mine, both white, and married black men with from what I can tell all friends and family members are 100% ok with it.

 

So please share your thoughts on interracial dating along with any first hand experience Looking forward to hearing back.

 

It's absolutely and decidedly more acceptable than it was 25 years ago,

Especially in America, where it's a melting pot from immigrants to and fro,

In fact, I look mostly white, and yet my dream woman is that with caramel skin,

About 5'2", petite, exotic, with no regard to race or their past sin.

 

The best part is that I'd love the opportunity to rub it in their face,

Someone wants to make a comment about my dream woman's race?

I'd make sure to grab her ass and have her jump on top of me,

We'd make out right next to the ignorant person for them to see.

 

If your non-white partner or lover makes you happy, then who cares what they think,

Smile together, hold each other's hand, give plenty of PDA, buy each other a drink,

For the future of the world is not that of a thoroughbred race or breed,

It will be about the mixture of awesomeness from each and every culture we heed!

[MWC BlondeKim]

Hello, to everyone that has replied or read this posting/discussion.

 

I am glad that I had the courage to have dated outside my race 25 years ago when it was not so easy to do so.

 

If interracial dating and marriage was as acceptable as it is in 2018, I probably would have said yes to my black boyfriend when he proposed marriage back in 1993.

[Mysterio]

I mostly date white women as a black man, as there are more white people around me.

 

I am a Black man that loves more Rock and Roll/Metal/Jazz/Soul. I am spritually minded and tend to have more soulful conversations, than Hashtag this or that and talking about hooking up on Tinder.

 

Black women are not around me as much. Also. I had one female black friends and we just have had so many falling outs that its hard to be friends with her. We like different music and have different mindset. I don't know how we became friends.

[RideTheLightening]

As I had stated in my original post I had felt pressure to marry white.

Even though it is many years later I resent having felt that pressure and worse yet that I gave into it.

Long story short, I was dating two men in my senior year of college, the one I was truly in love with happened to be black the other one a white guy who was more in a category of nice guy in which our dates occasionally lead to sex with some low level of love.

Moving forward and starting my career my young age had not yet afforded me the maturity and courage to married the man I truly love, my black boyfriend, but chose the white guy due to that be the safer option.

I admit I was wrong for not standing up the pressure and married my true love, yet in the long run I am happily married now, and with time truly feel in love with my white husband.

I hope I did not confuse anyone.

 

Of course it's more accepted today than it was 25 years ago. I was around during that period and I remember even then the stigma wasn't that bad.

 

What makes my skin crawl is racial fetishizing. I know a lot of people do this... but white women chasing black men are by far the worst group. I know a couple white ladies that exclusively date black men and I always avoid the topic with them, because the stuff that comes out of their mouth is just creepy... I mean really creepy. It's a natural aspect of being interested in a skin tone rather than a human being.