Try Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 Now she is saying that she has trust issues with me because I read her emails and since she’s been friends with him so long that she still wants to talk to him. She told me it was only once or twice, but the email I saw speak otherwise. Wow she actually said that she "has trust issues" with your because you read her emails? Really? She is such a cheater that she puts her having sex with another man on the same level of trust issues as you reading her emails because your gut told you that she was a liar and cheat. Tell her that there is no such thing as privacy from your spouse when you are cheating, and that if she dares to ever bring this up again, you will know that the marriage is not worth saving and file. Just as bad, she actually expects you to let her keep f-buddy as a friend. When she tells you that "it was only once or twice", you should ask her "which is it? Was it once, or was it twice? Surely you would remember the difference between once or twice if you were telling the truth." If she was going to lie, she should have at least made an effort to try to make it believable. Her telling you that she has trust issues with your because you read her emails, along with her telling you that she wanted to keep her f-buddy as a friend, while not even giving you a believable lie about how many times they has sex together, makes her one of the most unremorseful cheaters that I have ever heard about. She might has well have just laughed in your face and dared you to do anything about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedDad Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 (edited) 1 year ago, I found out that my wife had been cheating on me for the last 4 years of our 17yr marriage (our 2 kids were 4 & 6 when it started). I received a lot of great advice here and ended up divorcing. Here are some key points from my experience. - take your time in your decision to R or D...it took me a month to decide, most take longer - talk to a lawyer ASAP...just to understand your options, I felt better after doing this - tell her AP's spouse ASAP...my ex was leaning toward divorce until I notified her AP's spouse and her AP denied the affair. I notified the spouse because I would have wanted someone to notify me...the spouse needs to know about the affair...it is the right thing to do. What they do with the information is none of your business. In my case, my ex's AP is still married to his wife...and I don't care. I can sleep at night knowing that I did the right thing. As a side note, my ex hated that we got divorced while her AP "got away with it" and stayed married. - know that your wife will continue to contact her AP...mine did, just like everyone here said she would - she will never tell you everything and will continue to lie...mine told me a lot, but still lied to me...they do not understand the critical need for 100% honesty - you will never trust her again...I never realized how critical trust was until it was gone - most importantly, kids do adjust to divorce...my kids have accepted the divorce and new way of life much easier than I have Best of luck to you. I understand what you're going through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. BD Edited June 14, 2018 by BetrayedDad 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TheRainbow Posted June 14, 2018 Share Posted June 14, 2018 Coming from a dishonest person.... "THe whole she has trust issues with you, thing is funny." I'm a cheater in my marriage, and multiple times he has found out by looking into my email and phone records. Ignore her... Link to post Share on other sites
Bufo Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 You need to formulate a strategy (what do I want what is no compromise and what is negotiable) and tactics (what do I do and what do I avoid to reach my goals). Seeing a lawyer is paramount. Good work. But it works best if you have your questions on outline form or on index cards. Gather financial info in advance of your meeting such as income tax return, mortgage statement, pension balances, bank and investment statements. Globally, you should look to learn what divorce is like (time, fees, fault play any role in support, property division, custody, isitation and child support. Get a picture of what post divorce looks like with an & year old child. Learn if there are procedural things you have to do to be eligible for divorce such as separation for any tome period. I’m not from Texas so I am no help regarding particulars. The Above points apply universally however You and only you get to decide if this A is a deal breaker for you. Some will advise no quick decisions. That is up to you. Seeing the lawyer for a crash course on Texas divorce doesn’t mean you will be divorced. But knowledge of local divorce practice can really help to alleviate the fear that comes from uncertainty. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 Tell the wife. It's a kindness. What if no one tells her? She deserves to know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Adotta Posted June 19, 2018 Share Posted June 19, 2018 Tell the OM wife. She deserves to know just like you deserve to know. Stop trying to be the "bigger" man. You are only protecting their adulterous relationship. Stop playing the fool. Let those concerned know. It's the moral decision. Just do it. Actually a part of me hopes you don't tell her. That way your wife will be busy having sleep overs with OM and be too busy to come beg you to take her back.... which is probably what she will do when her mm dumps her ads to save his family. I can assure you an inremoursful wife conning back into the marriage is the last thing you want. You would be her fallback guy. Her safety net. BUT the wife still deserves to know. Just do it. Keep your morals. Don't cover for this ******* and your wife. Don't be an accomplice to your own betrayal and the betrayal of another. (His wife) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Decorum Posted July 17, 2018 Share Posted July 17, 2018 So I assume the divorce is well underway? Link to post Share on other sites
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