ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 I met this girl online which I’ve been talking to for a couple weeks now. We recently moved the convo to texting and had our first call a couple nights ago. It went pretty well from what I thought, it was about twenty minutes but near the end she said ‘literally both her parents were calling at the same time and if she could call me right back.’ She never did (it was late, almost ten and a weeknight). She said she was staying at her parents’ place for the long weekend. I didn’t text or call her the next day but yesterday I texted her asking how the weekend is going, she hasn't responded yet. I’m just worried she used the parents calling as an excuse to get off the call. But we haven’t even met yet and I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t have. I was thinking of texting her again on Tuesday to follow up, good idea? I think she’s interested, since whenever we were texting during the week she was pretty responsive, and when she got off work she responded almost immediately. So I can’t imagine she already lost interest.
Myasylum Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 You never know what may have came up for her? Anything is possible. I think it's a good idea to try again on Tuesday, but then let it go. The biggest mistake of online dating is to start expecting anything. People are fickle, and she's probably talking to others as well. Just how it is. Not saying I agree with it, it's just reality.
coolheadal Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 I met this girl online which I’ve been talking to for a couple weeks now. We recently moved the convo to texting and had our first call a couple nights ago. It went pretty well from what I thought, it was about twenty minutes but near the end she said ‘literally both her parents were calling at the same time and if she could call me right back.’ She never did (it was late, almost ten and a weeknight). She said she was staying at her parents’ place for the long weekend. I didn’t text or call her the next day but yesterday I texted her asking how the weekend is going, she hasn't responded yet. I’m just worried she used the parents calling as an excuse to get off the call. But we haven’t even met yet and I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t have. I was thinking of texting her again on Tuesday to follow up, good idea? I think she’s interested, since whenever we were texting during the week she was pretty responsive, and when she got off work she responded almost immediately. So I can’t imagine she already lost interest. No more texting on your part okay. Let's see if she's interested in you or not? Because that's the only way your going to know. Give it a week or two then if you don't hear back from her then move on to the next one.. I know but that's the way the game plays out today..
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 You never know what may have came up for her? Anything is possible. I think it's a good idea to try again on Tuesday, but then let it go. The biggest mistake of online dating is to start expecting anything. People are fickle, and she's probably talking to others as well. Just how it is. Not saying I agree with it, it's just reality. Yea I'm thinking she's just busy with family and weekend stuff, I'll try again Tuesday. I'm probably just overthinking this.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 Personality is often perceived a lot differently via text than on a phone call or an in-person conversation. It is possible there was something about your personality or manner of speaking on the phone that didn't vibe with. I agree with giving it one more shot, though.
alphamale Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 I think she’s interested, since whenever we were texting during the week she was pretty responsive, and when she got off work she responded almost immediately. So I can’t imagine she already lost interest. first of all, you can't gage interest by texting and secondly, maybe she didn't like your voice? 2
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 first of all, you can't gage interest by texting and secondly, maybe she didn't like your voice? True. My voice sounds different in person then it does on the phone sooo..it sounds like a lame thing to make a judgement on.
coolheadal Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 True. My voice sounds different in person then it does on the phone sooo..it sounds like a lame thing to make a judgement on. Really can't judge that though. My voice in person is a lot different on the cell or on Face Book Messenger Voice Chat or What's App. Then again I can change my voice to sound different if I want, but then that's not really me you see. She has to like you for who you are in, out and how you sound. If they don't then move on too the next one. Until you click and you can be at peace...
Myasylum Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 It's always easy to put people in this box, and generalize people as being the same. In a lot of cases probably true. The hard part is she could be the odd duck that thinks outside that box. Could be nothing. I guess that is why you give someone that one more chance. Just don't waste too much time on it when you could be focusing on someone else.
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 Really can't judge that though. My voice in person is a lot different on the cell or on Face Book Messenger Voice Chat or What's App. Then again I can change my voice to sound different if I want, but then that's not really me you see. She has to like you for who you are in, out and how you sound. If they don't then move on too the next one. Until you click and you can be at peace... Yea I agree.
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 It's always easy to put people in this box, and generalize people as being the same. In a lot of cases probably true. The hard part is she could be the odd duck that thinks outside that box. Could be nothing. I guess that is why you give someone that one more chance. Just don't waste too much time on it when you could be focusing on someone else. Yea I'm going to text her again in a couple of days to see if she reponds.
alphamale Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 Yea I'm going to text her again in a couple of days to see if she reponds. why don't you call her? 1
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 why don't you call her? I could, but I feel like two calls in just a few days is a bit much. That first call was just to make sure she was real and to establish a connection.
smackie9 Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 The only way to establish a connection is in person. You ask her out on a date, not text or message for weeks. If she scampers away, she never had any real interest. Remember some people just like attention and use people as filler when they are bored...this could be the case.
Myasylum Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 *Most women are online just for attention. They crave attention naturally. Online is just a feeding ground for them. I suggest reading my first online dating review. I realize I may come off sounding old and bitter, but anyone that has spent any amount of time in there knows it's true.
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 Well I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she's just tied up with family stuff. Maybe it's the wrong position but I feel it's too soon to cut her off or NC her.
alphamale Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 Well I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt that she's just tied up with family stuff. Maybe it's the wrong position but I feel it's too soon to cut her off or NC her. how long does it take to shoot off a text message? all of 8 seconds?? you should move on to the next girl
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 how long does it take to shoot off a text message? all of 8 seconds?? you should move on to the next girl it's taken her a few hrs to respond during work hrs.
Romantic_Antics Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 I met this girl online which I’ve been talking to for a couple weeks now. We recently moved the convo to texting and had our first call a couple nights ago. It went pretty well from what I thought, it was about twenty minutes but near the end she said ‘literally both her parents were calling at the same time and if she could call me right back.’ She never did (it was late, almost ten and a weeknight). She said she was staying at her parents’ place for the long weekend. I didn’t text or call her the next day but yesterday I texted her asking how the weekend is going, she hasn't responded yet. I’m just worried she used the parents calling as an excuse to get off the call. But we haven’t even met yet and I didn’t say anything I shouldn’t have. I was thinking of texting her again on Tuesday to follow up, good idea? I think she’s interested, since whenever we were texting during the week she was pretty responsive, and when she got off work she responded almost immediately. So I can’t imagine she already lost interest. She's not interested. If she was she would've called you right back like she said she was going to or at least had the decency to fire off a quick text saying something along the lines of, "Hey, I ended up talking to my parents longer than I thought and it's getting pretty late. Can we talk more tomorrow/after the weekend?". That's what you would've done if the shoe were reversed, right? She may have just been using a call from her parents as an excuse to get off the phone. Maybe it was really a guy she's already been seeing and that's who she's spending the long weekend with. Maybe it just wasn't clicking for her on the phone so she lied to get off the call. In any event, she didn't call you right back, didn't even message you, and is currently ignoring you altogether. Does that sound like somebody who's interested in you? 2
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 She's not interested. If she was she would've called you right back like she said she was going to or at least had the decency to fire off a quick text saying something along the lines of, "Hey, I ended up talking to my parents longer than I thought and it's getting pretty late. Can we talk more tomorrow/after the weekend?". That's what you would've done if the shoe were reversed, right? She may have just been using a call from her parents as an excuse to get off the phone. Maybe it was really a guy she's already been seeing and that's who she's spending the long weekend with. Maybe it just wasn't clicking for her on the phone so she lied to get off the call. In any event, she didn't call you right back, didn't even message you, and is currently ignoring you altogether. Does that sound like somebody who's interested in you? So that may all be true, but she was supposed to call me a different day but she didn't because she got back late around midnight and didn't text or call because she didn't want to wake me up. She only told me that the next day after I texted her. So it could be the same case here.
Romantic_Antics Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 So that may all be true, but she was supposed to call me a different day but she didn't because she got back late around midnight and didn't text or call because she didn't want to wake me up. She only told me that the next day after I texted her. So it could be the same case here. Except that it's not the same case. It's now two days later and she didn't respond to your text this time. I'm not trying to dash your hopes, but it doesn't look good. You also have to consider that she told you she'd call another time, didn't, and then waited until you texted her to give you an explanation. For your sake, I hope I'm dead wrong, but from a third party perspective it's not looking too good. At the very least these are red flags.
Author ikonik Posted May 27, 2018 Author Posted May 27, 2018 Except that it's not the same case. It's now two days later and she didn't respond to your text this time. I'm not trying to dash your hopes, but it doesn't look good. You also have to consider that she told you she'd call another time, didn't, and then waited until you texted her to give you an explanation. For your sake, I hope I'm dead wrong, but from a third party perspective it's not looking too good. At the very least these are red flags. I appreciate your perspective. You think I should still text her to follow up in a couple days?
Romantic_Antics Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 I appreciate your perspective. You think I should still text her to follow up in a couple days? I personally wouldn't since the onus is on her at this point to show you some measure of courtesy and interest. She said she'd call you right back, but didn't, and you texted her yesterday without getting a response. However, if you want to follow up again on Tuesday to ask her how the weekend went, that's up to you. If she doesn't respond to that either or the response is cold, ie, "Good" without asking you anything I wouldn't contact her again. 1
alphamale Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 I personally wouldn't since the onus is on her at this point to show you some measure of courtesy and interest. She said she'd call you right back, but didn't, and you texted her yesterday without getting a response. However, if you want to follow up again on Tuesday to ask her how the weekend went, that's up to you. If she doesn't respond to that either or the response is cold, ie, "Good" without asking you anything I wouldn't contact her again. if a woman genuinely and truly likes a man she will GO OUT OF HER WAY to talk to or make contact with him
Romantic_Antics Posted May 27, 2018 Posted May 27, 2018 if a woman genuinely and truly likes a man she will GO OUT OF HER WAY to talk to or make contact with him Agreed. That's why I told him initially that she's not interested. There are women out there who think it's a man's civic duty to do all of the pursuing and initiate all of the contact, but I'm not able to deal with them. They only succeed in sending me the message that they're not that interested and that I shouldn't be wasting my time.
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