JuneL Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Let me borrow this example from another poster. OP: Stop whining about your looks: look at Jack Ma. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CatMinx Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Why do you discuss your sex life in detail with your family? That seems odd.. Also, why do you have to have the hottest girl in the vicinity? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Let me borrow this example from another poster. OP: Stop whining about your looks: look at Jack Ma. I don't know who Jack Ma is, but perhaps his family wasn't bullying him about his looks.... Link to post Share on other sites
CatMinx Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I don't know who Jack Ma is, but perhaps his family wasn't bullying him about his looks.... One of the richest men in the world..and widely considered extremely unattractive. But married with kids. And not for the money! They met before he was rich. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 If you were a woman Id have more sympathy.... Some of the butt ugliest dudes I have known in my life still had plenty of opportunities...Women are not as hung up on this aspect as men are.. Focus on the things that matter...Your education...Your career...Your confidence and well being... And what the previous poster said about getting older and when the script flips....well....that's dead on....You just need to be patient....But don't use that time dicking around....Get the other shyt in order...Women will always be around.. TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I went through a bit of a struggle and battled a lot in my personal life. My emotions were high due to stress and I didn't take care of myself. As a result, I look terrible. I feel so embarrassed in group settings and sometimes at work but I started to approach it all differently. I've had some horrible things said to me through this time and faced multiple rejections. It's hard not to be affected by rejection. I started to stop paying attention to the negativity and started asking myself if what I am doing, reading makes me feel better or worse and I am taking steps to feel better. When you feel good, you present yourself much better. I don't know if any of this helps you but I guess what I am suggesting is to stop listening to others and start doing things that build you up as a person. Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 One of the richest men in the world..and widely considered extremely unattractive. But married with kids. And not for the money! They met before he was rich. Two years ago I ran into a guy at a party. He was bald, overweight, blind and deaf. He was also recently married, and communicated with the rest of the world by tactile signing, which his translated. If his wife translated truthfully the guy was actually pretty funny. I guess that worked for him. I'm also a firm believer on focusing on what works and then simply not questioning why somebody may overlook the rest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
irresolute Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Honesty, I since I’m a virgin at 20, I feel like I’m not a man or deserve to be one. I’m shamed about it even by my own family members. They’re always asking or saying “why don’t you have a girlfriend” “what are your dad teaching you?!” “What’s wrong with you”. Always shaming me for being a virgin and at the same time call me ugly prior or afterwards. How ironic huh? I mean they don’t mean anything by it, they’re just having fun, but I hate how much truth there is to it. I feel like being a virgin past higher school is pathetic and says a lot of negative things about me. I want to lose it, I want to be close to someone, but sadly I don’t have the looks nor the best personality to be with a girl. I’ve only gotten as far as titty sucking, and even then that girl dumped for I don’t know what reason. Wasn’t interesting enough I guess. IM so sorry you have such insensitive family. You should just try to move on from such bad energies. Try to hang out with friends. Don’t worry if you’re ugly women go for personality traits as well. Just be nice, approachable, smile, make silly jokes. You’ll be fine Link to post Share on other sites
PRW Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Overcoming Fears Of Being Ugly The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Me It's Your Vibe, Not Your Looks Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 I was once painfully shy, but forced myself to learn to talk to women. Think of them as just common people. Start with the female cashiers at the grocery stores. At first talk about the weather. As you get to know them, find out if they have kids. Their ages, etc. Whether they like cats or dogs. What sports do they like? The idea is not to date them, just get to know them. Then use them skills with other women. With time you will get more and more confident and it will be like talking with your next door neighbor. As for being ugly, most women judge you not on your looks, but your manhood. Your confidence, your drive, your ambition, your ability to make them laugh. The story is told in my family. We were farmers, and this big city gal from Chicago came down to visit a friend in a small Iowa town. While out for a walk around town, she told her friend that the guy coming down the street was the ugliest man she'd ever seen. Less than a year later they were married. That was my great aunt and uncle. Link to post Share on other sites
Guildford Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 The advice you have been given here is good, and I would like to add just two more items of advice: 1. Move to another city. Your family sounds toxic and they are destroying your confidence. I believe that even if you did acquire a girlfriend, your family would ridicule her and make fun of you for having such a girlfriend. Get a job or continue your education in another city and visit your family infrequently. 2. If you have completed your education, then take an adult education class in basic writing. Communication skill in this world is important for any kind of success. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
happyhusband0005 Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Practice starting up conversation with strangers. In line at the grocery store waiting for the ATM where ever. This will help you train your brain to work faster in spontaneous conversation. This will eventually lend itself to talking to women. Don't get too hung up on looks. Talk to lots of women regardless of looks. You will get more and more comfortable and eventually find a connection. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Let's give the family a bit of a break here....No need to disown them or move out of town over this...I had parents, especially my mother, that practically never praised any of us for anything and often levied harsh criticism...Its the way some people choose to communicate...I am sure they love the OP and want the best...I doubt this will "break" him...Looking back on it, I believe it's helped me immensely to deal with life's inevitable hardships.. I mean the opposite is no better, in fact probably worse...I'd rather someone give me the harsh truth, even if I don't necessarily like it, than fill my head with a bunch of flowery praise, and bs about "it's not you, it's them" stuff.. Just hang in there and work on the stuff you can control...The other stuff will follow...It does for almost everyone.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Wookin Pa Nub Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 Sounds like you need some confidence. I am 6'4" and was awful at talking to girls as a teen. I was 18 when I first kissed a girl. I had a hook up on spring break where I touched her boobs and V but she was ugly. A few in college like that as well. Finally had sex at age 19 - she was really ugly. I was drunk. After freshman year in college I had serious gf that was good looking and into me. I certainly wished I would have been a virgin for her and not lost my virginity to ugly girl on a drunken one night stand. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 23, 2018 Share Posted March 23, 2018 If Harvey Weinstein got Georgina Chapman to marry him, you can probably find someone even if you're not rich. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 There's a guy who's been around the music/art scene always and is an artist. He is what I'd call homely. He's short, reddish hair, pinched face. But he makes every woman he talks to feel like they're special, you know, like Bill Cliniton. Now, does this bag him the hot ones? No, it does not, but he is rarely wanting for female companionship. You have to make yourself special in some way. He does murals and is charming. That's what elevates him. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted March 24, 2018 Share Posted March 24, 2018 (edited) My daughters a pretty little rascal but the bf , he's a good kid this guy but he ain't no fabio that's for sure. Over weight and puggy face , nothin to look at at all but , my daughter just loves who he is and they get along amazingly well. ps , hth does anyone even know your a virgin anyway, and family , wtf, especially when they throw it in your face. But , there's a solution , seems as you've told the whole world your very personal business, go away for a few days , met someone,stuff happened, come home. Who cares , peace for you ! Edited March 24, 2018 by Chilli 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mumbles Posted March 25, 2018 Share Posted March 25, 2018 If Harvey Weinstein got Georgina Chapman to marry him, you can probably find someone even if you're not rich. Probably not a great analogy. I suspect wealth, power and (at the time) social standing had a fair bit to do with this coupling. Note that Chapman filed for divorce from Weinstein last October - Weinsteins attractive attributes all having taken a serious hit due to the allegations against him. I get what you're trying to say though and the foundation of that still stands. Build yourself, and by that I mean not only the physical, into a man that women would want to be with. You've got to rise out of the pack of horny men by having something the girls want. Clean living, stable life, obvious care for ones physical wellbeing (clothes, preening, health). Link to post Share on other sites
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