Am I being played or am I being selfish?

[BMI03]

Dude, a few thoughts...

 

- One, you think you were respecting her because you were doing what she said was all right. But she's a bad decision maker. Basically moving into her house after 2-3 months is bad decision making. It's a terrible thing to do to the kids to have this in and out of relationships and that's all you became. When my now wife wanted to meet my younger daughter, at my now wife's advice we waited until we had been dating for one year. Even then, rather than her come over she stayed in a hotel close to my place, we went to visit her and made the visit all about a friend...let my daughter create her own relationship with her first. Then over a longer period of time lead up to an overnight, one at a time, months later even. That's how you show respect. That's how you invest in a successful future together. By staying there so often so soon, all you did was add another trauma to her children's lives.

 

- The confusion you have over her words one day and actions the next is because she is hedging her bets. She is a single parent balancing personal desires, the need of a safety net, and a sense of reality. Her feelings for her ex(s) likely go back and forth, and even if they didn't her feelings on their being the right plan 'A' for the sake of the children does go back and forth in her mind. But, the reality of what she wants and what she can have get in the way of making her plans come true, so she needs to hedge her bets so she has a fall back plan. She likes you, as an option, but as a Plan 'B' that she can go to if the other plans don't work out. That's why she is pumping your ego one night and trashing you the next...she is moving with the wind of how her other plans appear to be working out for her.

 

Get out of it, for the children's sake.

[Marc878]

You are in way over your head. You need to get her finished and take a step back.

 

You jumped in (white knight syndrome) and are getting played.

 

Way to young to get mixed up in this huge mess.

 

You’re just a rebound anyway

 

Better wake up quick

[Versacehottie]

I'd advise you to put her out of your mind for just an hour and have a good long hard think about just you, just your life--not any romantic choices. Then after you have a good picture what you would like your life to be, like your goals & aspirations & who you would like to be in this world, think about her for a minute. Will she bring you closer to being that person and closer to your aspirations or take you farther from them and derail you? Often times people are at the one of biggest crossroads of their life, but they don't realize and make the wrong turn based on short-term thinking. I'm here to tell you, you ARE at that crossroads. A bad decision has the capability of impacting the trajectory of your life. She's a bad decision.

 

Make that right one for you. She is already damaging your self-worth and how you spend your time and your focus. She offers very little positive to your life and I am fairly sure will leave a wake of destruction. Please think about yourself. If it helps to make it through wanting both to see her and wanting to let her go, tell yourself you are postponing the whole thing. If it's meant to be, you can revisit the whole thing with her 6 months or a year from now (i wouldn't actually recommending doing that but if it helps to make it through now & allow other GOOD things to come into your life & have some space and perspective, that's what you need to do). I think in time you will see her for who she is. Good luck. Oh and btw, you definitely have CHOICE in this matter. Why do you need her to break up with you? You can do it to her. That's sounding pretty pathetic & tells me she has already stolen your self-worth. Get out.

[Buckmeister]

Just an update.

 

I forgot to tell everyone because I forgot myself but got thinking yesterday. She did this to me already before.

 

I used to work with this girl and her mom at my first job McDonald's four years ago. Thats how I know her, anyway. August to November last year we remained in contact almost daily, not dating or anything, but eventually I told her I like her. She told me that she was not ready for a serious relationship, and then we both fizzled off, that was until around Christmas.

 

Around then she contacted me, she told me she is ready for a relationship and that she's sorry for pushing me away and that she wants to go out with me. So that happened and then everything else I said just happened and now we're at today.

 

She has her car back, has her stuff back, and she still hasn't completely broke ties with me. She blew off the date for tonight though, so I'm going to go forward and just simply ask her if she wants this to work if not I'm sorry but I can't keep acting like I'm okay when I'm not.

[heavenonearth]

 

She has her car back, has her stuff back, and she still hasn't completely broke ties with me. She blew off the date for tonight though, so I'm going to go forward and just simply ask her if she wants this to work if not I'm sorry but I can't keep acting like I'm okay when I'm not.

 

You should have broken off the date before she got a chance. Why do you keep begging for a woman who doesn’t care one bit about you?

 

Crazy.

[Buckmeister]

You should have broken off the date before she got a chance. Why do you keep begging for a woman who doesn’t care one bit about you?

 

Crazy.

 

Because even though I consider myself mature in a lot of areas due to things I've experienced, relationships are definitely not one of those areas. So like the other things in my life, I'm gonna have to learn this the hard way and get absolutely crushed by it before it really gets through my thick head.

[Art_Critic]

I think your Mom was dead on, listen to her and go from there... breakups suck...

[Versacehottie]

Just an update.

 

I forgot to tell everyone because I forgot myself but got thinking yesterday. She did this to me already before.

 

I used to work with this girl and her mom at my first job McDonald's four years ago. Thats how I know her, anyway. August to November last year we remained in contact almost daily, not dating or anything, but eventually I told her I like her. She told me that she was not ready for a serious relationship, and then we both fizzled off, that was until around Christmas.

 

Around then she contacted me, she told me she is ready for a relationship and that she's sorry for pushing me away and that she wants to go out with me. So that happened and then everything else I said just happened and now we're at today.

 

She has her car back, has her stuff back, and she still hasn't completely broke ties with me. She blew off the date for tonight though, so I'm going to go forward and just simply ask her if she wants this to work if not I'm sorry but I can't keep acting like I'm okay when I'm not.

 

I had a feeling she was going to do that. She just wanted to make sure you followed through with the car. Classic user. Yes, you are being played. Do not ask her if she wants it to work. You have your answer sadly. You just need to accept it & literally you will thank your lucky stars for this someday

[Buckmeister]

She picked up her car from the friends house an hour ago, and then blocked me. Then she blocked my family. It's over.

 

I knew it was going to be since Sunday.

 

On a side note, I have a date with someone else the 12th.

[PinkPampies]

She picked up her car from the friends house an hour ago, and then blocked me. Then she blocked my family. It's over.

 

I knew it was going to be since Sunday.

 

On a side note, I have a date with someone else the 12th.

 

Didn’t you see that coming? Hopefully, you learned from this “relationship”. Unfortunately, not every relationship is meant to last. Some are meant to be stepping stones for future relationships. And if you don’t take away knowledge from past relationships, don’t expect to be successful in future ones.

 

Take it for what it was, learn from it. Next time, you won’t be so gullible and love struck to set yourself up like this.