Happy Lemming Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Speaking as the average guy, which I am... We neither want nor need to hear your apology. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Speaking as the average guy, which I am... We neither want nor need to hear your apology. This is why we need guys on this forum.... to come in and break up the estrogen fest. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Prue Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 You’d just reopen a wound and have them go through all the thoughts and feelings again. Maybe you can one day, but not this fast. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 Ya i would wait a year or so.....knowing they have moved on. I know I would appreciate an apology. But that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted March 15, 2018 Share Posted March 15, 2018 hi kakoy, i dont know the full story here, but i always so appologise if you know you did wrong, they can take it or leave it, it might mean something to them it might not, but the point i am trying to make is that it isnt your decision how the appolgy is taken but it could help them more than you know or at least realise what went on. the fact that you are writing about that is a sign you kinda know in your heart it is probably a good thing to do especially if you were brought up to do that. if someone you were with treated you badly and just walked as it were would you want to know why or if they unfairly blamed you or took thier stuff all out on you wouldnt you respect that person more for actually beign mature enough to say hey y'know what i was wrong sorry. its about doing the right thing in the end. if it were me id fess up everytime if i got it wrong. ok see ya. maxi 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kakoy Posted March 15, 2018 Author Share Posted March 15, 2018 hi kakoy, i dont know the full story here, but i always so appologise if you know you did wrong, they can take it or leave it, it might mean something to them it might not, but the point i am trying to make is that it isnt your decision how the appolgy is taken but it could help them more than you know or at least realise what went on. the fact that you are writing about that is a sign you kinda know in your heart it is probably a good thing to do especially if you were brought up to do that. if someone you were with treated you badly and just walked as it were would you want to know why or if they unfairly blamed you or took thier stuff all out on you wouldnt you respect that person more for actually beign mature enough to say hey y'know what i was wrong sorry. its about doing the right thing in the end. if it were me id fess up everytime if i got it wrong. ok see ya. maxi Hey! So, that was what I had plan on doing. Apologize cause I was wrong but from the responses, it seem like I might hurt him which is why I am still Hesitating. I would never intentionally hurt him but would hold off if it does even if I have to live with guilty conscience. For anyone who read my other thread. I am going out with guy who call me a cheap date just one more time. Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Depends, if it hurt him then better to leave him alone then to re-open a wound. You want to apologize to ease your guilt, not really to make him feel better. Horse ****. If you hurt a guy with your selfishness, apologize. He will hurt more in the long run if you treated him terribly at the end and give him no closure than if you apologize and exit the situation gracefully. NC without closure and with disrespect is spineless and cowardly. Only cowards advocate NC when someone who loved you once upon a time is hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
fieldoflavender Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Depends - if he's not over you, it'll open up more wounds. If he's okay with it but angry you treated him badly, then apologizing might help. I'm still waiting for my apology (will never get it I know because my ex is a terrible and cowardly person), but I think in life, if you hurt someone or acted inappropriately, an apology is a mature thing to do. And it is a form of closure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Romantic_Antics Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Depends - if he's not over you, it'll open up more wounds. If he's okay with it but angry you treated him badly, then apologizing might help. I'm still waiting for my apology (will never get it I know because my ex is a terrible and cowardly person), but I think in life, if you hurt someone or acted inappropriately, an apology is a mature thing to do. And it is a form of closure. Amen. An inappropriate act deserves an apology no matter what the circumstances are. Be dignified or don't date. Link to post Share on other sites
Highndry Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 As a guy, we don't want to hear it. Unless you're contacting him to tell him you made a huge mistake breaking up with him and want him back in your life (romantically) and are trying to arrange a meet up, leave him alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kakoy Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 no consensus. He could be hurt, he could not care, he could appreciate it. After thinking about it, i went ahead and gave a sincere apology via text (it’s 530 am) while on the treadmil ( so that I can physically run away). Delete message, delete number. Tempted to block cause I am a coward but resisted ....for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 IMO, any contact months later will be seen as a form of trying to pave the way back into that person's life... Don't do it, water under the bridge and all... Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 5:30 am you send an apology text... that text is going to need an apology text What's done is done, now you can live a guilt free life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kakoy Posted March 16, 2018 Author Share Posted March 16, 2018 (edited) 5:30 am you send an apology text... that text is going to need an apology text What's done is done, now you can live a guilt free life. Darn it! Lol, why did you bring that to my attention. Now do I write another apology text?!?!? No is better right. Ah, think I can live with this one or choose a life of neve apologizing again. ETA: he replied. Thanked me and also wished me well. Done and done! Edited March 16, 2018 by kakoy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 16, 2018 Share Posted March 16, 2018 Look at it this way . . . the obnoxiously early time of the text will help him feel like he dodged a bullet with you. You got what you wanted -- to send the apology but it's doubtful that he'll want you want or that you gave him false hope. Link to post Share on other sites
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