Do our exes ever miss/think about us?

[ExpatInItaly]

When I have been the dumper, yes, it was normal to think of my ex sometimes. Human memory doesn't just suddenly delete that person from your life.

 

But I have never regretted ending it. That's not a decision I take lightly, so when I wanted out, it was genuine.

[healing light]

I felt immediate relief with the dumping of one of my exes (sad that I hurt him, but relief that it ended), but I wasn't in love with him. I think if someone dumps you but is still in love with you when it happens, the frequency with which they would think of you would be much different.

 

Conversely, I've had exes that have moved on into different relationships and then tried flirting with me years later when they were still with that person. Weird.

 

If you ever follow John Gray's work, he talks about how sometimes men in particular will tend to move on to other partners without grieving the ending of their relationships first. So what will happen is that when their current relationship ends, they find themselves not just grieving the most recent breakup but sometimes women from months, years, and decades before.

[SevenCity]

I felt immediate relief with the dumping of one of my exes (sad that I hurt him, but relief that it ended), but I wasn't in love with him. I think if someone dumps you but is still in love with you when it happens, the frequency with which they would think of you would be much different.

 

Conversely, I've had exes that have moved on into different relationships and then tried flirting with me years later when they were still with that person. Weird.

 

If you ever follow John Gray's work, he talks about how sometimes men in particular will tend to move on to other partners without grieving the ending of their relationships first. So what will happen is that when their current relationship ends, they find themselves not just grieving the most recent breakup but sometimes women from months, years, and decades before.

 

That rings true for me. I recall when my last LTR ended I had nightmares about a girl I had dated 25 years ago.

 

I’m not familiar with his work, but I think it’s more that men don’t ever completely fall out of true love.

 

The alternative,waiting several decades to date again, doesn't seem plausible.

[Young mind]

I felt immediate relief with the dumping of one of my exes (sad that I hurt him, but relief that it ended), but I wasn't in love with him. I think if someone dumps you but is still in love with you when it happens, the frequency with which they would think of you would be much different.

 

Conversely, I've had exes that have moved on into different relationships and then tried flirting with me years later when they were still with that person. Weird.

 

If you ever follow John Gray's work, he talks about how sometimes men in particular will tend to move on to other partners without grieving the ending of their relationships first. So what will happen is that when their current relationship ends, they find themselves not just grieving the most recent breakup but sometimes women from months, years, and decades before.

 

Not to start a battle of sexes but this applies to women as much as men, even more to women, the only thing that differentiates men and women is only the gender, each goes into another relationship because they thought they could do better , more to women because they could be average and till score a guy anywhere anytime, and most of the time women don't grieve their past relationship, they have a new partner very quickly who wants to prove his a better "man" compared to the ex, thus you see your ex-gfs on numerous holidays and subjectively feels like her life just took a huge turn.

 

This is true that men don't really fall out love , if that love was genuinely there, but I believe they unluckily didn't find better too

[marky00]

Yeah, I think it's more that guys take longer to fall out of love as a general rule.

 

As I often say, women chase hard at the start (i.e. fall in love fast) and men chase hard at the end (i.e. fall out of love slowly).

 

Women are most certainly capable of monkey branching. And when they do it, they mean in. They aren't looking in the rear view mirror.

[Popsicle]

I felt immediate relief with the dumping of one of my exes (sad that I hurt him, but relief that it ended), but I wasn't in love with him. I think if someone dumps you but is still in love with you when it happens, the frequency with which they would think of you would be much different.

 

Conversely, I've had exes that have moved on into different relationships and then tried flirting with me years later when they were still with that person. Weird.

 

If you ever follow John Gray's work, he talks about how sometimes men in particular will tend to move on to other partners without grieving the ending of their relationships first. So what will happen is that when their current relationship ends, they find themselves not just grieving the most recent breakup but sometimes women from months, years, and decades before.

Yes I agree with this.

 

I once was dumped and couldn’t really understand it when he came back 3 years later wanting to reunite. I was like “Huh?”

[d0nnivain]

I have never forgotten somebody I dated. Even if I don't think of them often, I know they existed.

 

Every once in a while I might miss some activity we did together but after the initial healing is complete I have never missed somebody to the point I wanted to reconcile. They became men I used to know, nothing more. Sure there had been good times but there is no point going backwards in life.

[maybejune]

because he had girls lined up before we broke up.

[SevenCity]

I have never forgotten somebody I dated. Even if I don't think of them often, I know they existed.

 

Every once in a while I might miss some activity we did together but after the initial healing is complete I have never missed somebody to the point I wanted to reconcile. They became men I used to know, nothing more. Sure there had been good times but there is no point going backwards in life.

 

I've forgotten most. I know the number of women I slept with (dated most, perhaps some brief) only because me and a friend sat down in our 20s and took time to write them down and create a baseline.

 

Since then, I have added to the baseline but I couldn't remember probably 75% of them if I tried.

 

Interestingly, the ones I do remember most were the ones who broke my heart.