Author hmmmm123 Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 Respect for my ex wife, it didn't feel right. I have had tons of sex, that is not what this was about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Give her the space she has asked for. If you don’t then you are not respecting her wishes. She flat out told you not to fly down. You don’t have to contact her to tell her you won’t contact her. (See the issue with that?) How long before your divorce is final and you live alone ? After that, contact her and ask if you can see her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hmmmm123 Posted March 10, 2018 Author Share Posted March 10, 2018 I wasnt planning to contact her to tell her i wasnt contacting her. I was trying to demonstrate before it was too late that she is my priority and I am committted to her. Link to post Share on other sites
breadbin Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 I still think you are going to lose her if you do nothing. Your actions over the last 8 months will tell her if she needs to be scared of you stalking her. Sometimes when a woman tells you not to do something, she is really telling you to do it. Nobody can tell you what to do in this scenario. You have to go along with what you feel and take responsibility for your actions or inactions later on. That's life. It is way too short for regrets. Link to post Share on other sites
lenny72 Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 My two cents. Give her space. Continue on with leaving your wife. I wouldn't initiate contact again until you've lived up to everything you've told her you would do. You may not end up with her or maybe you will. Go in all the way ... not with backup plans. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Sometimes when a woman tells you not to do something, she is really telling you to do it. And this is exactly how rape happens. How about we just believe women mean what they say when they say it? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 My two cents. Give her space. Continue on with leaving your wife. I wouldn't initiate contact again until you've lived up to everything you've told her you would do. You may not end up with her or maybe you will. Go in all the way ... not with backup plans. Yes. This. It's a MUCH better plan than assuming she doesn't mean what she says when she says "no." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 You need to stop assuming you know her heart and mind better than she does, OP. Listen to her when she tells you she doesn't want to see you or speak to you right now. Get your divorce finalized and move into separate quarters. She doesn't trust you because you are still married and living with your wife. That is plenty good reason not to get involved any further with you. Sure, the marriage may have ended for all intents and purposes a while ago, but that doesn't change the fact that you are still someone else's husband. You need to separate yourself physically and completely from your wife before any woman will want to date you. Unless and until you do that, you're going to find that she continues to retreat from you and let go altogether. She is looking for a way out because she is tired of essentially being the Other Woman. Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted March 11, 2018 Share Posted March 11, 2018 Honestly, she's probably emotionally unavailable if she got into this situation with a married man and the minute it seems like it might actually progress with talk of future plans, she's backing away. I do think this situation is kind of a trap since she was upset over you disappearing yet asked you for space. Some emotionally immature women do want men to "fight" for them (want you to come closer when they push you away), but since she has a history of being stalked, I would leave her alone. And, like others have mentioned here, it is a fine line you walk when you ignore a woman's requests or words, no matter her intent. Focus on keeping your side of the street clean by making a break with your wife if you know you don't want to be with her anymore. Give this woman in question space and continue to do what you need to do for your life regardless of what is going on with her. Link to post Share on other sites
breadbin Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 And this is exactly how rape happens. How about we just believe women mean what they say when they say it? wow. OP just for the record I am not advising you to rape your ex. shout out to the nanny state. Link to post Share on other sites
rickwman Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 Sorry you are experiencing this. Sounds like you both are either very stubborn or you both are not being honest with each other. Honesty and understanding each others expectations are very important to a relationship. Be honest with her. I'll expect good things from you both. Have a loving, caring and forgiving heart towards her until you understand the situation and your heart and mind can be at peace. Link to post Share on other sites
klicker Posted March 13, 2018 Share Posted March 13, 2018 If you agreed to give her space, then give her space. Anything else is disrespectful to her wishes... and, yes, sometimes women will push you away to see if you chase,,, but is that the kind of relationship you want? I have recently gone through this exact thing and I came to the conclusion that if I played games, the relationship would end up a game, no thanks... Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 wow. OP just for the record I am not advising you to rape your ex. shout out to the nanny state. I wasn't implying you were suggesting rape. But, what's so bad about just believing women when they say "no?" To anything? To everything? Link to post Share on other sites
CantTakeMySmile Posted March 14, 2018 Share Posted March 14, 2018 I wasn't implying you were suggesting rape. But, what's so bad about just believing women when they say "no?" To anything? To everything? Right on! I can't stand when people are like "well, she said no, but maybe she means...." No, if she said no, (no matter what she MAY mean), then respect the NO Link to post Share on other sites
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