Do I tell him how I feel, or keep my peace?

[lurker74]

I want to, but i'm also afraid I'm going to hear "Well i like you, but x y and z..." and lose my friend too.

 

The word "but." Hmm. It's funny because if you add a second T to it, it becomes one of my favorite things. Sadly, the single T version means this: "Everything I just said in this sentence prior to this word I am now saying doesn't matter..."

 

• "I love you but I'm not in love with you."
   
  
• "I like you but I'm not sure a LDR is right.."
   
  
• "I would wear a condom but...."
  

 

You get the idea. If he says "but" it means no. And it is likely to remain that way.

[Flame Aura]

I want to, but i'm also afraid I'm going to hear "Well i like you, but x y and z..." and lose my friend too.

 

I wouldnt worry too much about losing a 'friend'. If it doesnt work out and you stay friends, when you do find someone serious, they will become your best friend. Same thing when he finds a serious girl, you wont be such good friends anymore.

[basil67]

I wouldnt worry too much about losing a 'friend'. If it doesnt work out and you stay friends, when you do find someone serious, they will become your best friend. Same thing when he finds a serious girl, you wont be such good friends anymore.

 

This^

 

When you find a wonderful man, the new wonderful man will be your best friend and you won't need this other bloke's friendship.

[johan]

I want to, but i'm also afraid I'm going to hear "Well i like you, but x y and z..." and lose my friend too.

 

It's understandable, but if it's the truth you need to know. If the opposite is true you need to know. Put your fear aside and get on with it. And I would think "I like you, but..." is really not the worst case. What would be worse is for him to give you nothing to go on either way. I'd recommend you consider that a "no" as well. By this time he should have figured out what he wants. To be honest you should already know.

[Cam1]

I told him last night I have feelings, and it feels weird to go on a date with men from OLD while I have these.

He responded with he likes me too, and that he's been considering putting me on his airline benefits, so I can come visit him.

 

That's not really decisive, but I know you can only put so many people on those benefits so that's a big deal.

 

Also the guy from tinder/bumble called me last night, for no reason, after I told him I would be staying in to study. Then this morning he called me again, to ask if I could get dinner tonight. After I've told him I'm literally not doing ANYTHING this weekend except preparing for my finals. It felt almost disrespectful. Get the vibes hes just desperately hoping to get sex.

[LivingWaterPlease]

I told him last night I have feelings, and it feels weird to go on a date with men from OLD while I have these.

He responded with he likes me too, and that he's been considering putting me on his airline benefits, so I can come visit him.

 

That's not really decisive, but I know you can only put so many people on those benefits so that's a big deal.

 

Also the guy from tinder/bumble called me last night, for no reason, after I told him I would be staying in to study. Then this morning he called me again, to ask if I could get dinner tonight. After I've told him I'm literally not doing ANYTHING this weekend except preparing for my finals. It felt almost disrespectful. Get the vibes hes just desperately hoping to get sex.

 

This tells you nothing. He's "considering" putting you on his airline benefits but he hasn't. It's not a big deal until he does it. Even then, he can always take you off his benefits when someone comes along he wants to be exclusive with. Seems to me he's dancing around the issue of making your relationship exclusive. Your feelings for him continue to grow while his are stagnant but he's enjoying the benefits.

[preraph]

I'm still afraid this pilot is just setting you up as one of his many girls at different ports. I would discourage you from falling for him, and I forbid you to stop dating other guys because your pilot, regardless he broke off with someone, tells you about his dates, so he's liking that you put up with someone who's clearly open about they're dating around. So do NOT stop dating around. You don't have to meet up with that guy who you think just wants sex, but you keep dating. Because that pilot will. You don't stop dating unless he puts a ring on it. Which my guess he's having too much fun to want to go and do that unless it would keep him from losing someone....so keep dating.