Why did my ex gf block me, tell me to never contact her again and is now moving

[Veronica73]

[] I had somebody treat me the way it seems you treated her and he made me feel like I was a piece of garbage to him, so I suppose I was projecting a bit [regarding a past comment]. I do think you stomped on your ex-girlfriend’s heart, and that you should leave her alone. That’s what she wants and if she changes her mind she can come to you.

 

And in the future maybe be more careful with people who love you. I hope that isn’t too harsh. But I still don’t really understand why you broke up with her... unless I misread it.

 

It seemed like you bickered for a little bit, you got it in your head that it was over, and then texted her it was over? Unilaterally. And refused to entertain the idea of working it out with her or even talking to her. Why?? Seems really abrupt.

 

And then you changed your mind. Why? Did she change something that she had been doing that pissed you off so bad that you decided you had to break up with her by text?

Edited February 23, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Topical content and paragraphs

[Highndry]

Let this be a lesson to not play games. Next time, you'll think twice before making emotional decisions rather than logical ones.

[mikeylo]

She did the perfectly right thing.

 

You dumped her because your ' loved ones ' told you. She is moving on.

 

Accept it. Move on.

 

Why she is moving on so quickly ? Pretty easy. Your behavior slowly but surely, closed her heart for you and now she moving on without any feelings for you. Happens , quite common and normal.

[Purepony]

Why don’t you have your mutual friend talk to her and tell her how you feel ? Maybe the mutual friend can tell her what happened ?

[springy]

My friends told me to just cut her off and ignore her even though I knew deep down it was wrong. I had people telling me to just go into hooking up or sleeping around or dating. So I did and I was reckless about it - trying to make her jealous and price me I knew that by befriending a woman she didn’t exactly fancy would make her lose it. Instead she told me to essentially never contact or speak to her again. How does someone recover from that? Should i just do no contact? I am not gonna give up on her or this. She loved me and I loved her. I’m not going to give up.

 

I think she's done.

Your behavior post breakup is quite odd for trying to win someone back.

You need new friends.

Perhaps work on your communication skills.

[primer]

I was once in the same position of your ex-girlfriend.

 

 

I blocked the man that broke-up with me and he started dating someone else right away. It was one thing breaking up with me, but the fact that he was seeing someone else right away with no regards to my feelings, was the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

 

Blocking was needed to protect myself.

 

 

That is what your ex-girlfriend is doing. She is protecting herself from you hurting her again.

Edited February 24, 2018 by primer

[mmathers]

ahh the games we play.....

 

life is the best teacher and we are all perpetual students.

that being said, it seems like you are panicking and realizing what you 'lost'. it sounds like you took your exgf for granted and you did not treat her right

 

there are a few things you can do right now

 

1. work on yourself

easy to say, hard to do

 

check out two guys on youtube

 

derrick jaxn

 

he is a bit harsh but he has no bs approach for both men and women. his videos are short, usually under five minutes

 

coach corey wayne

 

 

he is more indepth and descriptive , but both are great speakers

 

2. own your mistakes

if she will allow an email communication and you want to make sure she will receive it, ask your 'mutual friend to get it to her on your behalf. i wouldnt do this right away until you have really thought about why and if you want her back.

 

thing is, she gave you chances, you didnt want her love/relationship/companionship or you wanted everything on your own terms. we dont always get what we want in life.. thats why you're here and realizing it now that the ship sailed and is in the middle of the ocean....

[1fish2fish]

She always told me that no matter what she would love care and support me. I wasn’t thinking. I let go of someone that truly cared and loved me. someone i was actually comfortable and happy with.

 

So what do you truly miss? Her? Or the way she made you feel?

[stuckandconfused]

Update: So it’s actually true that she is moving. I thought it was a joke but a friend of mine seen her listing. I don’t know what to say or do. I don’t know if she is seriously moving away because of the breakup because of me or if it’s just maybe she met someone else?

 

I asked my friend to respond to her listing and I think my ex knows because my friend said that she hasn’t gotten a response at all. What do i do? I think that this is a bit much even extreme. It feels very finite and makes me feel really bad.. that I drove someone away.

[anna121]

People move for all sorts of reasons. I really doubt that you are the centre of her universe. Moving away from you and the entire toxic situation may be beneficial to her, but you are drawing all sorts of conclusions that are speculative.

 

In any event, none of this is your concern anymore. Stop trying to get more info about her - it's kind of creepy and doesn't help you at all. Accept her decision, accept your part in it, work on yourself (e.g., the fact that you don't really know why you treated her so badly - why would you want her to risk getting in another relationship with you when you can't guarantee that the same thing wouldn't happen again?) and move on with your life.

[stuckandconfused]

People move for all sorts of reasons. I really doubt that you are the centre of her universe. Moving away from you and the entire toxic situation may be beneficial to her, but you are drawing all sorts of conclusions that are speculative.

 

In any event, none of this is your concern anymore. Stop trying to get more info about her - it's kind of creepy and doesn't help you at all. Accept her decision, accept your part in it, work on yourself (e.g., the fact that you don't really know why you treated her so badly - why would you want her to risk getting in another relationship with you when you can't guarantee that the same thing wouldn't happen again?) and move on with your life.

 

I can’t move on. I just can’t. I made a mistake that I am living with. All of this is just too much. I did not expect this. All of my ex’s are still amicable or talk to me They never did any of this. She loved me really loved me and accepted me. No one has ever been that way with me. I overlooked everything and thought I wanted to be alone. Thought it would be easier. I failed to communicate and my anger got the best of me when dealing with the aftermath of the breakup. I probably made her feel so bad about herself, embarrassed her in the process. Made her feel small and alone. I can’t live with myself.

[Rainah]

You could make one last effort to reach out to her by saying all what you admitted above but I am doubting she will give you another chance

[mikeylo]

You could make one last effort to reach out to her by saying all what you admitted above but I am doubting she will give you another chance

 

I usually advise this— one more effort but not in this case. Too much water under the bridge.

 

OP, asking your friend to play this game is really really bad.

 

If you think you can’t move on, go to therapy asap. Your first step is to stop trying to find out what she is doing, etc , basically , as if she is dead. Trust me, grieve her loss like she is no more. It will be painful and will take lot of time but you will survive.

 

But the most important first step is completely NC. If you don’t do it, nothing will change. She has moved on. She is no more within your reach.

[Rainah]

One more effort might be enough for him to realise yes leave her be

[Young mind]

I can’t move on. I just can’t. I made a mistake that I am living with. All of this is just too much. I did not expect this. All of my ex’s are still amicable or talk to me They never did any of this. She loved me really loved me and accepted me. No one has ever been that way with me. I overlooked everything and thought I wanted to be alone. Thought it would be easier. I failed to communicate and my anger got the best of me when dealing with the aftermath of the breakup. I probably made her feel so bad about herself, embarrassed her in the process. Made her feel small and alone. I can’t live with myself.

 

Bluntly speaking mate, your ex gf "dodged a bullet", can you re read this?, and ask yourself what exactly do you feel bad for?, that you dumped her or she's mature enough to move on with her life, she seems to see right through you and you do not realize that, it surprises you that she's not one of the 'crazy exgf ' you saw on Tv who will be running and begging you to take them back.

You don't feel bad because you hurt her, you feel bad because you think " she feels so bad about herself, emabarrased and has to move out".

 

Wake up man, have some self reflection, you're lucky to have an outside opinion on this forum, I'm sure none of your friends responded as all the posters here have, thus your denial

 

For your sake and to save yourself some 'embarrassment ' let her be

Edited February 26, 2018 by Young mind

[mikeylo]

 

Wake up man, have some self reflection, you're lucky to have an outside opinion on this forum, I'm sure none of your friends responded as all the posters here have, thus your denial

 

This.

 

We all are anonymous and saying the way it is. The 'friends' in real life are saying to OP what he wants to listen , to get him off their back.

 

OP, please realize that you saying that you can't move on, won't give up on her etc, is seriously of no use.

 

What are you going to do ? Chase her? Persist her? Follow her? Bump or go where she is ? Tell your friends to speak to her ? Call her? Text her ? Be where she is in the hope that she will come to you ?

 

NO. Nothing will change her mind. Do realize, by doing all of this " won't give up etc" , is not going to change anything except force her to get a restraining order against you.

 

Leave with some dignity intact.

[Zahara]

I probably made her feel so bad about herself, embarrassed her in the process. Made her feel small and alone. I can’t live with myself.

 

Stop making this about you. If anything, and by the looks of it, it seems like this woman has much more sense that than to define her value based on your bad behavior. She sounds like the kind who realized that she was worthy of much more and didn't deserve your treatment - hence her ability to take the proper steps to sever and move on in a healthy manner.

 

I'm sure she was in a lot of pain but I don't think she played victim for very long. She's likely in a better place and moving on from this and you should do the same. In time forgiveness will set in for her and you will soon walk away with a very valuable lesson.

[Space Ritual]

I can’t move on. I just can’t. I made a mistake that I am living with. All of this is just too much. I did not expect this. All of my ex’s are still amicable or talk to me They never did any of this. She loved me really loved me and accepted me. No one has ever been that way with me. I overlooked everything and thought I wanted to be alone. Thought it would be easier. I failed to communicate and my anger got the best of me when dealing with the aftermath of the breakup. I probably made her feel so bad about herself, embarrassed her in the process. Made her feel small and alone. I can’t live with myself.

 

[]

 

 

 

People have a fairly high threshold for BS from their partner or spouse, But sometimes that Threshold is surpassed. And that's exactly what happened to you.

 

When you constantly put yourself and your wants and needs ahead of someone you purport to love, that act wears pretty thin in short order. From your posts, one thing is clear: and that is you really have no conception about anyone's feelings but your own.

 

[Complaining about] "Why did she do this? Why did she do that? It was JUST a Mistake...not only makes you come off as a very unlikable person to some posters here. It makes you come off as totally lacking in empathy.

 

[]

 

Leave her alone, move forward and go get some life experience. You may find that a minimal attitude adjustment can go a long way towards bettering your personal life.

 

[]

 

Good Luck

Edited February 27, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Unwillngness to follow the direction of moderation equals moderation

[lolablue17]

I have read the whole thread and cant get it. Can you please write here what is it that you want? What would you want to happen?

[BC1980]

Update: So it’s actually true that she is moving. I thought it was a joke but a friend of mine seen her listing. I don’t know what to say or do. I don’t know if she is seriously moving away because of the breakup because of me or if it’s just maybe she met someone else?

 

I asked my friend to respond to her listing and I think my ex knows because my friend said that she hasn’t gotten a response at all. What do i do? I think that this is a bit much even extreme. It feels very finite and makes me feel really bad.. that I drove someone away.

 

Who knows why, and it doesn't matter. Moving is a way to get over someone though. Out of sight, out of mind. Also, don't get your friend to check on the listing. That is kind of stalkerish. If she wants to be left alone, leave her alone.

[stuckandconfused]

I have read the whole thread and cant get it. Can you please write here what is it that you want? What would you want to happen?

 

I e-mailed her apologizing for everything asking if she would meet me before she left. Waiting on her response.

[Rainah]

If she doesn't respond then you will have your answer, she wants nothing to do with you and best to leave her be seek therapy to help you move on from this experience

[1fish2fish]

I e-mailed her apologizing for everything asking if she would meet me before she left. Waiting on her response.

 

 

What exactly did you apologize for? Was it a blanket apology like how you wrote ("I apologize for everything") or did you humble yourself and apologize for specific ways in which you wronged her?

 

I ask because whether or not she responds will be based on this.

[William]

Just a reminder that moderator ~T already did one cleanup here and when I notice members ignoring his polite reminders and directives the enforcer comes out. Thanks in advance for following our guidelines of discussion.