Where do you find your dates and how is it going for you?

[Mkn1010]

I know a lot of single (never married, no kids) gals in their late 20's/early 30's age. They just don't use OLD, like me. I truly believe the women in that age bracket that frequent apps like Tinder are massive attention seekers/flakey/bad long-term partner material.

 

I don't think you need a particular approach, as such, for dating in real life. I'm really shy myself so I just do things I can handle: like going to an event or group alone once in a while. I'm presently just working on building better friendships and I think the rest will follow.

 

You don't need to be actively trying to date (whatever that means) in my opinion - IF you're looking for love that is. You just need to place yourself in settings where you would meet like-minded people and one day it'll happen. BUT if you're seeking something a bit more forced, like you just want the opportunity to date or get a GF (not necessarily an amazing love), then for sure, do the active searching thing. As to how that works, I have no idea because I don't do it, but others here will be able to advise you.

 

Good luck and please don't feel like a failure. I have only had one long term relationship to date, and that's because I only choose to get to know people on a romantic level that I can see that kind of potential with. And they are literally like finding a needle in a haystack.

[viatori patuit]

I married someone I met on tinder.

 

My take on OLD was that people take it too seriously. I look at it like it’s a time sink that I would pick up and put down when I felt like it.

 

I never hoped for anything but a good story from old (well that and hoping she didn’t flat me and wear my skin). So many people I met were on a checklist mission. Looking for everything they though made a perfect mate. That was exhausting.

 

The first person I cam across that was chill like me ended up working out. My advice to people still dating is to relax and enjoy the ride.

[joseb]

I use tinder for backup but the vast majority of my meets are in real life. I'm tired of meeting people from tinder and having no chemistry. I can tell IRL in seconds if there is something worth pursuing.

 

It's not hard. Just talk to people. So few guys seem to be doing it these days, I think it's actually making things easier for me

[Popsicle]

I might play around online every blue moon (out of loneliness) but I know my next relationship will come from meeting someone offline. Where will I meet them? I don't know, the sky is the limit.

[FilterCoffee]

I use tinder for backup but the vast majority of my meets are in real life. I'm tired of meeting people from tinder and having no chemistry. I can tell IRL in seconds if there is something worth pursuing.

 

It's not hard. Just talk to people. So few guys seem to be doing it these days, I think it's actually making things easier for me

 

I have experienced this myself. It makes me feel more in control of the situation which is a big bonus. With the onset of OLD, I think more and more guys have chosen to exclusively go down that route so when a guy just strikes up a conversation, he becomes “bold”. I guess you’re reaping the benefits of that

[d0nnivain]

I'm a teacher yet every single female in the workplace seems to have a boyfriend or engaged or married.

 

Things I haven't tried: Speed Dating, paid Online dating sites.

 

I have no way near enough confidence to go up to a girl and strike up a conversation in say the gym or a book store. They could have a bf or just give me utter rejection and I just can't handle that.

 

 

Three things:

 

 

1. Ask your work colleagues to fix you up. With that many women you know, they will enjoy helping you find a woman to date. Let them.

 

 

2. Work on your confidence. Confidence is sexy. You have to be able to smile & say hi. Try signing up for ToastMasters which is more about public speaking. You can do that because you are a teacher so that group may just polish your teaching. If you can afford it, take a Dale Carnegie class on How to Win Friends & Influence People or something like it. It really teaches you how to interact with others confidently.

 

 

3. Re-read my 1st post in this thread . . . post #2 for more ideas.

 

I have a friend who's passionate about photography. He's got professional equipment but he also takes great photos on his phone. What kind of photos do you think I should get?

 

 

Let the friend make that decision. He is the photographer. Spend the day or at least an hour doing various shots: some inside, some outside. You want at least one close up of your face, preferably with you smiling or laughing & one full body shot so the prospective date can get a general idea of your overall size. Wear solid colors not prints & nothing with a logo on it unless you own the company.

[nospam99]

One more time, I am the LS OLD outlier. Just about everything I'm going to write I've posted before. But the OP asked...

 

OP, I'm old enough to easily be your father if not your grandpa. So my experience is different. Variables I think matter are age, gender, and the demographics of where you live. I am 64, male, and live in a semi-urban area within 2 hours drive of NYC (not that I'd travel that far unless 'she' was REALLY special). I don't have any practical opportunities to meet potential romantic partners other than OLD. I don't drink, hate bars, have done meetups for years with ZERO 'connections', and none of my friends have 'fix him up with a woman' contacts. What OLD guarantees for me is that if I am interested in a woman, she has at least said that she is unattached and interested in finding a partner.

 

I'm looking for an LTR. I have only been doing OLD for about five months. I've been on most of the sites. The only ones I recommend are POF, Match, and OKC. I think I am very selective. I only contact women whose photos I find attractive, who are near my age, and whose profiles indicate significant lifestyle compatibility. My gf who just broke up with me says I am very attractive .... for a senior male. I take that with a pound of salt. Usually I make first contact. All along I've gotten unsolicited contacts. The last several unsolicited contacts have been from women I am interested in. I have no explanation why my luck being contacted has suddenly gotten better. I only 'work' one relationship at a time - no multidating. I try to move the relationship from contact, to phone, to in person quickly. I've met six women. All are good people who I would have married if the relationships had developed that far (I'm divorced and NOT looking for another marriage, but fully open to the possibility). Of the six, I seriously dated three. Potential woman number seven messaged me on match yesterday (a first) and wants to talk on the phone. Potential women eight and nice contacted me while I was seriously dating number six so I demurred. There are another dozen potentials that I have 'window shopped' for months but haven't contacted because of the no multidating thing. They could all be strikeouts. I won't know unless and until I try. Other potentials have disappeared from OLD. I assume they have either found their match or given up. So there you go: how I find my dates, what I do, how well it's worked so far. Very obviously YMWV

[d0nnivain]

FilterCoffee

 

 

The idea is to have the photographer take hundreds of shots then find 2-3 that are good & delete the rest.

[FilterCoffee]

FilterCoffee

 

 

The idea is to have the photographer take hundreds of shots then find 2-3 that are good & delete the rest.

 

It’s a good thing my friend likes me otherwise there’s no way I’d get a person to do that!

 

Thanks for sharing.