Noticed ex defriended me on FB, and having mixed emotions.

[mayonnaise]

please dont feel silly.... your pain is no less than mine pain is pain.mine is not worse..it wasnt my intention to make you feel anything but supported and understood..i wanted you to know that it will fade ...mine did...it will just take time there is no limit to that time......pain no matter how much or how little you feel it means.... is felt the same by me and by everyone.....sending hugs to you mayo....you arent alone...ever..angels gather to surround you.....they take the pain little by little...broken people no matter how broken...are surrounded by angels..........deb

 

Thank you Deb. Your kind words made me feel A LOT better. People like you make me stronger day by day. Im glad of all the support I got from Loveshack. U guys are truly amazing.

[mayonnaise]

Blocking your ex and this girl will do loads of good for you. The only thing that matters right now is your healing.

 

You're right Calibabe. It's been weeks now that I've been juggling about that thought. It's between should I let them win by deleting/blocking them on Fb? Making them laugh or feel of how affected I've been about the situation? Or not caring at all what they think because my happiness and healing is what matters the most here. But you're right, because sometimes you gotta lose first in order to win. I dont even know if i make sense right now, because this battle between emotional and rational thinking is making me crazy! I'm definitely deleting them, it will do me more good.

[AT15]

Super normal. My ex moved on and I was deveatated. He recently returned but it's too late, I've met new men, who have so much more to offer me..

 

But, I remember feeling so abandoned by him, questioning everything in the relationship. And to this day, I don't believe the relationship was real. Because he is not real.

 

Anyhow, I definitely got over the women in his life, lol. I still have him blocked tho. Even tho he texts me every so often. I have him blocked. I don't want to know about his life, it's none of my business and I don't want to give it my good energy.

[Veronica73]

I think I understand. Sometimes I think all this NC stuff is baloney. It’s just putting a shield up, but not neccessarily dealing with the issues. And the reason I say this, is that as soon as you have contact again, it’s like you are back to square one. It’s easy to not deal with your emotions if you just cut off contact with the person. I had no contact with my sort-of ex (it’s complicated-basically he wanted FWB and I wanted more) for about 6 months. And then we very casually got into contact again (just a few texts here and there), and I thought I was okay with it. But then yesterday he lets me know he’s having a great Valentine’s Day because he started having sex at 6:30 am, and I feel like I have been kicked in the gut and I’m now back to square one. It’s awful.

 

(Edit) And today I totally snooped around. I know where she works so I looked her up on LinkedIn to find out her name, and then on IG, and found out all about her. She is 22. And he is 56! And her Dad is dead and she has a tattoo about her dad and she recently broke up with a boyfriend. And she deals with mental health issues. And she has large breasts. And she looks like a child. And she posted a photo of their Valentine’s Day date (a place he took me before). So yeah, I know way more about her than I should and it doesn’t help AT ALL. Ugh. So messed up. I need to stop.

 

So maybe you’re being silly, but I understand. You’re doing a lot better than I am. (Don’t know if that’s any comfort at all-because obviously I’m not doing great.)

Edited February 16, 2018 by Veronica73

[mayonnaise]

So maybe you’re being silly, but I understand. You’re doing a lot better than I am. (Don’t know if that’s any comfort at all-because obviously I’m not doing great.)

 

Hi Veronica. Just like what Deb said, it doesn't matter who's doing better or worse. Pain is pain, no matter how silly or not the situation is. Though, I'm proud you're taking the first step of trying to stop now. That's progress.

 

Thanks by the way for the comfort. This place is the one place we can speak our minds without judgment. We got to look out for each other.

[mayonnaise]

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let this one out.

 

Just a brief background: I've been broken up and NC with ex (together for almost 4 years, more like a bestfriend-soulmate feels kind of relationship) for 3 months+ now (didnt even contact him on his bday,etc). And I've been doing okay so far. Though there are still times I get to think about him, I dont miss him that much anymore. Also, he got into a new relationship 2 weeks after breakup (said he wanted freedom,space,etc).

 

A few days ago, I posted a thread about being jealous about the new girl, and someone advising me to unfriend them on social media. So after that, I've been thinking back and forth about doing so, to further progress my moving on process (which is actually going great btw).

 

Then the other night, I posted an FB story and asked for a sign (funny, i know lol) that if he'd view my story again (just like he's been doing weeks ago) I'd delete him on FB Then it's funny cause he never did.

 

Then this morning I did it again. Then suddenly scrolling down news feed, I saw his mom post something and clicked her profile. Then to my surprise, we're no longer mutual friends with my ex That's how I found out he already unfriended me!

 

At first, I was shocked! It was like a mental telepathy! Then I laughed because I thought "Thank you Lord for making it easy for me!" because defriending him would have given me LOTS of mixed emotions like regrets, etc. But also, I felt a little sad because I've always thought of maybe being friends again in the future (just like he told me during the breakup). But today, I felt so free! I can now like and comment whenever I want without having to think about how he'd feel or think. However, I also wonder why'd he do that? See, I'm getting lots of mixed emotions right now.

 

I guess, what I wanna ask is: Why'd he do that? I know it doesn't matter anyway, but I'm just purely curious. Is there a chance we could still be friends in the future? I mean, we also had good memories. So I guess that's the part I felt really sad about, but other than that, it didn't really affect me that much. In fact, I feel just fine generally.

[ExpatInItaly]

If he's got a new girlfriend, he may have done it to respect their relationship. But if he was with her 2 weeks after breaking up with you, I suspect there was some overlap there. He might not want you seeing anything that would confirm that.

 

Ultimately, it's a good thing. You don't need daily updates about his life, and vice versa. Being friends usually doesn't happen with exes, or at least not for a good while after the break-up.

[Young mind]

Yeah, I know how you feel, when my ex left too, I pondered to block her or not, I feared we won't speak anymore and that thought was unbearable, this went for about 2 weeks and then boom she posted with the new bf and I was blocked everywhere.

 

Mine was blocking, yours being removed as friends, a few explanations are his new gf asked him to do so, he might not want to be constantly reminded of you when you post.

 

I suggest not to read much into it, I did too and it only racked my brain.

 

Also, don't be afraid to move on, I know it's terrible to imagine your soulmate turning into a stranger but people aren't not easily forgotten, the memories , good/bad times last , I suggest to remove all mutual friends, it's not rude, it's your way of moving on and not being in a circle

[CatMinx]

My guess would be that he saw your posts and assumed you were tossing hints out that you wanted him back, and he unfriendrd you to avoid having to let you down directly. He did you a favor on this.

[William]

Moderation merged three threads on a similar topic, a breakup and members can continue discussion in this consolidated thread. There may be some duplicate content and please read back for context. Thanks!