preraph Posted February 16, 2018 Share Posted February 16, 2018 I'm wondering what you happy, single ladies mean when you said you'd date again if you met a man who "added something to your life"? Aren't more trouble than they're worth. Aren't a financial or housekeeping burden. Aren't an emotional drain. Relationships are work. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SolG Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I'm in my late-40s. I was married for a long time - we separated amicably so I have no baggage from that thank goodness. I'm very happy. But not ''conventionally' single. I have an anchor partner that has his own apartment across the road. And at the moment one other more casual partner. And I date when I have the time and inclination. I'm open to more... everything if it works! I love having an anchor partner that spends a lot of time with me. And I love the freedom to explore other connections. And I love my own time and space. I struggle to find a down side to being my type of single! I have two close female friends over 35 who also have more than one 'partner' and live 'alone' who find it quite satisfying. I think too many people confine themselves. There's actually a whole sliding scale from utterly alone to completely enmeshed and monogamous. Find where you fit! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Damia Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I'm wondering what you happy, single ladies mean when you said you'd date again if you met a man who "added something to your life"? I think we are hoping that special (possibly mythical) person will just magically appear across a crowded room or in a supermarket aisle. The person with the right jigsaw bits to fit with our missing bits. He doesn’t want to change us, loves almost everything about our uniqueness. Doesn’t expect us to cook all his meals or wash his dirty socks. While he sits in his chair and basks in his own wonderfulness. This might sound a bit of “male bashing” but a lot of us have come from just this situation If we treat you like a king we would like to be treated like queens. We’d like equality and shared chores, doing things together that we are both interested in. I’m sure there are a lot of men who naturally do do this, unfortunately some of us have never been lucky enough to meet one. So for some of us a single life with freedom of choice and no “maid duties” is much preferable. Beth1427- I’m 50 and have been happily single for 7 years. (Married 18yrs together 25) A partner would be nice but is not essential. I am lucky I have 2 great children and very very good friends. After getting over the shock of divorce life has turned out rather well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 I am 52 and totally single for about 4yrs now. As a true introvert I'm pretty happy not being in a relationship. I work full time, have a senior mother, kids, grandchildren and my dog. They are enough for me, I don't feel like I have the time or emotional energy for a romantic relationship. Looking back I realized that I've always been a happier stronger person when I've been single. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted February 17, 2018 Share Posted February 17, 2018 Interesting. After reading some of these posts it appears to be alot of "tried dating after 40/50 it was bad - gave up". Sometimes this thought (along with others) of being single at 50 ish - keeps me in my low sex marriage. Sounds not so great out there. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Interesting. After reading some of these posts it appears to be alot of "tried dating after 40/50 it was bad - gave up". Sometimes this thought (along with others) of being single at 50 ish - keeps me in my low sex marriage. Sounds not so great out there. If you're fundamentally happy, fair enough. However if you are unhappy on many significant counts then hmmm... better an uncertain future where you may find happiness versus a certain future of certain unhappiness? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 Interesting. After reading some of these posts it appears to be alot of "tried dating after 40/50 it was bad - gave up". Sometimes this thought (along with others) of being single at 50 ish - keeps me in my low sex marriage. Sounds not so great out there. Well, lots of people stay in their not great marriage for fear of being alone. You’re not alone. I always tell people, if you divorce, you should divorce because you’ll be happier ALONE, not because you’ll be happier with someone else. None of this GIGS. Finding a new suitable partner is NOT guaranteed. But if you can enjoy being alone and can be patient and hopeful for love, maybe it’ll show up, maybe it won’t, but at least you were okay living your life by yourself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted February 20, 2018 Share Posted February 20, 2018 If you're fundamentally happy, fair enough. However if you are unhappy on many significant counts then hmmm... better an uncertain future where you may find happiness versus a certain future of certain unhappiness? He doesn’t sound that unhappy in his marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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