FilterCoffee Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 I’m 26 years old and I’ve always found woman older than me very attractive. They seem so grounded, so assured of themselves and if I find them good looking, I’m easily smitten. Yesterday I was at a wedding and I saw a woman in her mid thirties with her young son. I can’t really pinpoint what it was but there was something about her that’s still making me think of her. Maybe it was the way she carried herself or the fact that she’s a mom with a gorgeous figure but there was a large part of me that wanted her. Today, at lunch on the table opposite to me was a woman who was probably close to 40 seated by herself. Again she was beautiful to look at but what attracted me was how comfortable in her skin she looked. Sipping slowly on her coffee, she seemed unperturbed, confident, at peace and I really wanted to talk to her. Last year I had enrolled in French classes and on my first day I saw this beautiful woman at the entrance. I asked her for help in locating my classroom, which she was glad to do and when we got there I got a big shocker when she entered the room and announced that she was my teacher! At first I thought she was a bit older than me, 5 years at most, but as I got to know her more, I found out she was older than that and even had 2 kids! Like the other women I described, she was so at ease and comfortable being herself. Needless to say, I had an exemplary attendance record I’ve never dated a woman much older than me but I’m seriously considering it going forward. So ladies, I’m interested to know how you’d feel if a guy much younger than you asked you out. Would you find him naive or immature? Would you reject him straight away? Would it make you feel like a cougar? Would you feel excited? And for the guys, what has your experience been dating older women and in particular, how did they treat you? I’m very curious! 1
losangelena Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 Nearly all the men I've dated/hooked up with have been younger, some up to 10 years younger. I don't have a problem with it. 3
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 Probably not. I would be much more likely to date an older man than a younger one. 1
divegrl Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 A couple of my last relationships have been with younger men. I’m 36 and they were around 28. I really enjoyed them. I did feel like a cougar at times; and now I’m reevaluating what age bracket I’d like to date. If you feel a connection, I would go for it. 1
Maggie4 Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 A bit younger is ok, but not one that acts young. The women you describe are in their prime and life is good, so of course you'd find that attractive. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 Older woman here - I just turned 49 and have been divorced 9 years now. As I've stated before in other posts, I've dated men from 22 to 50 post-divorce. What I've learned is that age is, for the most part, just a number. Many of the men I dated who were closer in age behaved more like overgrown babies with massive baggage while men in their twenties behaved like the gentlemen their mama's raised them to be including having their sh*t together. Some of the best relationships I've had have been with men much younger than myself including my current partner who is 10 years younger. As for how women feel about dating younger is very personal. There isn't one universal truth so you'll have to test the waters and see how each woman you encounter feels and what she has to say about it. The only advice I have to pass on is, and I know it's very cliche, be yourself. Older women can see through all the bullsh*t and won't waste time with men who can't it real with them. Good luck. 6
hippychick3 Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 After my divorce when I was in my early 40’s, I dated guys 5 years younger to 8 years older. More than 5 years younger was too young for me....until I met current bf who is 10 years younger. I was very hesitant at first, but the chemistry and connection were too strong to resist. We’ve been together 4 1/2 years, and age hasn’t really been a factor for us. 1
Author FilterCoffee Posted February 8, 2018 Author Posted February 8, 2018 The only advice I have to pass on is, and I know it's very cliche, be yourself. Older women can see through all the bullsh*t and won't waste time with men who can't it real with them. I always try to be as genuine as possible but I guess it's even more pertinent to older women. They've seen the works right? 1
d0nnivain Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 In my 20s I would not & did not. My husband is 5 years younger then I am 1
GorillaTheater Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 I wound up marrying someone my age, but before that I dated a couple of significantly older women. One was a bit nuts, but the other was really wonderful (there was about a 12 year age gap). Older women rock, and there's no few of them who think younger men rock. 3
Michelle ma Belle Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 I always try to be as genuine as possible but I guess it's even more pertinent to older women. They've seen the works right? Pretty much but it's also about just not wanting to waste time. As we get older we appreciate that time is precious so we're not wanting to bother with men, or anyone for that matter, that don't vibe with us. As well, many older women know what they want and also what they don't want by this point in their lives and aren't afraid to go after it or even demand it. That usually means they're not often bothered with long drawn out courtships or giving men second and third chances. Their time and energy is valuable. 4
Author FilterCoffee Posted February 8, 2018 Author Posted February 8, 2018 As well, many older women know what they want and also what they don't want by this point in their lives and aren't afraid to go after it or even demand it. That usually means they're not often bothered with long drawn out courtships or giving men second and third chances. Their time and energy is valuable. That's great to know. So they'll either be interested immediately and show it, or they won't be. Makes a lot of sense. 1
Calmandfocused Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 Yes, absolutely. I'm 38 and wouldn't see any problem with dating a younger guy if that situation was to occur. Your issue will be if you want marriage and your own children as a lot of women in the in the age bracket your looking at would have been there and done it and may not wish to do it again. There is also the different stage of career factor to consider. I was still building my career at 26, now I'm very established. Just things to consider but if you're only looking for casual dating older ladies the above won't matter too much 1
smackie9 Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 I sure wouldn't have a problem with it if I was single. I'm a cougar I will admit that lol. 4
winny Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 The only thing I see is how much I like them as a person. If they can make me laugh, how well we get along. Life is too short, and age is just a number. So be with someone who you truly want and whatever makes you happy. 2
darkmoon Posted February 8, 2018 Posted February 8, 2018 not for anything long-term, or a whole generation apart 2
vanhalenfan Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 It's for some people, but not me. I am into older men 1
Huhjtg Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 As long as they’re legally of age and mature then no i see no problem with it. I’d actually prefer. Younger guy for some reason. I’ve dated several 1
heavenonearth Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 I always (!) dated younger guys. When I was 22 I dated a 21 year old. When I was 24 I dated a 19 year old. When I was 25 I dated a 23 year old. When I was 26 I dated a 21 year old. When I was 28 I dated a 21 year old. All of them were sweet in their own way and we had good times, but also all of them at some point decided that they didn't want to commit and still date around some more. Then I started dating older. I am now 30 and my boyfriend is 38. This is by far the most healthy relationship I have ever been in, and the most reassuring and trustworthy partner I ever had. The anxiety I developed over the years of being abandoned by men 'eventually' is still there, and it stems from the fact that I always dated younger guys who didn't really want to commit. This is why I have this stereotype of young guys (below 27, I'd say), that they are not going to be long term material, basically. You can have fun with them but you should not bet on them. This is how it was for me and this is my anecdotal evidence. But I know exceptions exist. My boyfriend's brother is 32 and has been with his girlfriend, 45, for five years already. They are one of the cutest, sweetest, most lovable couples I have ever met. It really depends on the person. If you meet a 40 year old woman tomorrow, and you two genuinely fall in love, and you can envision the rest of your life with her, why not? While I do think that a lot of older women enjoy the company of younger men, I also think most of them do not view younger men as long term relationship material. I feel that if you fall for an older woman, you really will have to prove yourself to be worthy as a long term partner. It's unfair, but I think there just exists a certain stereotype. Sorry for writing so much, but I have a lot to say about this because I know it from my own experience. That being said, I do think that once both people are older (for example guy is 30 and woman is 42) the age difference becomes less of an issue. It may be more complicated if the woman is 40 and the guy is 22. Most 22 year old men are not even as matured as a 22 year old woman, so a 40 year old woman will likely get bored quickly. 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 I’m 26 years old and I’ve always found woman older than me very attractive. They seem so grounded, so assured of themselves and if I find them good looking, I’m easily smitten. Yesterday I was at a wedding and I saw a woman in her mid thirties with her young son. I can’t really pinpoint what it was but there was something about her that’s still making me think of her. Maybe it was the way she carried herself or the fact that she’s a mom with a gorgeous figure but there was a large part of me that wanted her. Today, at lunch on the table opposite to me was a woman who was probably close to 40 seated by herself. Again she was beautiful to look at but what attracted me was how comfortable in her skin she looked. Sipping slowly on her coffee, she seemed unperturbed, confident, at peace and I really wanted to talk to her. Last year I had enrolled in French classes and on my first day I saw this beautiful woman at the entrance. I asked her for help in locating my classroom, which she was glad to do and when we got there I got a big shocker when she entered the room and announced that she was my teacher! At first I thought she was a bit older than me, 5 years at most, but as I got to know her more, I found out she was older than that and even had 2 kids! Like the other women I described, she was so at ease and comfortable being herself. Needless to say, I had an exemplary attendance record I’ve never dated a woman much older than me but I’m seriously considering it going forward. So ladies, I’m interested to know how you’d feel if a guy much younger than you asked you out. Would you find him naive or immature? Would you reject him straight away? Would it make you feel like a cougar? Would you feel excited? And for the guys, what has your experience been dating older women and in particular, how did they treat you? I’m very curious! I would not date younger guys, I've had the worst luck when meeting a guy who was 6 or 7 years younger then me. 3 guys in a row, funny enough going on about how they are ready to settle down and like older women, only to reject me in a super immature way. So when a guy says that, I'm cautious. 1
mortensorchid Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 I say go for it. Might as well if you want to "try it". 1
SpecialJ Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 My best relationship was with a guy 5 years younger. I've also dated 5 years older, and my own age, and it's just as likely that they'll still be man-children as anyone else. So, I agree with the other posters that it's dependent on the person. However, I will say go for it if you think you're in a similar life stage. For example, if you meet someone 32 who wants to be married with kids by 35, will you be okay with that? If you're definitely not, don't waste your time or theirs. But if you're open to their timeline (whatever it is, maybe they aren't looking for a family or maybe they already have one and aren't looking for a stepdad), then you'll have to ask the women out to see if they're open to younger guys! 1
grays Posted February 9, 2018 Posted February 9, 2018 I got divorced when I was 44 (48 now) and since then I've dated guys as young as 22 and as old as 64. Probably most of them have been between 28 and 33. I was/am crazy of some of those young ones but the idea of a long term relationship with someone in that range scares me. I usually tell them right from the beginning that we have to be and remain facebook friends bc I want to see them hit milestones, marriage, babies, career. And now that a couple of them have kind of moved on, left town or whatever, I do enjoy seeing them post about their lives. It feels natural and right for them to move on. 1
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