Should I Tell A Girl I'm A Virgin?

[Chilli]

Oh shyt sorry l thought you were older and had experience but well , this will explain a lot of your posts then. And l don't mean that in a bad way either, ok.

 

But l dunno man , the women where you live must be some shallow crap if you couldn't tell her that.

honestly.

l wouldn't even wanna know a women l couldn't talk about that stuff too and if she knew anything at all she'd know anyway that she only has lotssss of fun to look forward too if anything.

And she'd also know that more doesn't necessarily mean better , matter of fact l've found more revolting from any women , mechanical , insensitive , and hopeless to boot, just all round yuk.

 

But there's no need to even bother mentioning it to just any old dead end date because it's not even gonna go there anyway.

 

Think if it was me l'd either find someone to just mess around with , or find a decent gf .

Then again , maybe ya could go to a pro .

[ZA Dater]

I'm just shy of 30, and I've never even been on a proper date with a girl, let alone done anything remotely physically affectionate. I honestly don't believe I ever will, either, but I do think about it a lot, and this is a subject I sometimes ponder about.

 

Like, obviously you wouldn't just blurt it out randomly with no context on a first date. But I imagine once you've been on a few dates, certain conversations and discussion points start coming up, and... I dunno, I mean, I wouldn't want to lie, but I also feel like the truth would make things horribly awkward. Like, most guys aren't really completely dateless/ "affectionless" at 30+.

The thing is, too, if I started dating someone, I think I'd be way too nervous/ skittish about initiating any kind of physical affection or intimacy. Like, I don't know that I'd be able to initiate a first kiss. I'm pretty sure I would not try to initiate sex in any way. So... I don't know how much of a problem that would be, either.

I dunno. I guess it doesn't matter much, because these are all just rhetorical scenarios that I'll never actually be in, so...

 

 

 

Both extremely problematic scenarios.

[Be_Strong]

It depends on the woman, but in general I would advise a guy your age to not reveal he is a virgin (either before or after sex). All the women I have talked to who have had experiences with this have been universally turned off by the admission.

 

There’s enough information freely and easily available for virgin guys to give a good performance their first time. It’s not like you will be fumbling around not knowing where her lady parts are at.

 

Now, if you happen to meet a deeply religious girl who is saving herself for marriage and she wants a virgin guy to marry, then maybe your virginity will be seen as a positive. But every other woman will see it as a giant negative.

[Penguin_hugs]

I feel I should share my experiences too- although I've posted them on similar threads. I was a virgin until age 21, I was with someone for over 2 years- but we were LDR for the last year of the relationship- so sex wasn't that frequent. I was then single for 2 years and had sex twice in that time- both guys ended up flaking soon after for various reasons.

 

I recently got in to a new relationship (1 month official this weekend) and I genuinely didn't know my boyfriend was a virgin until he told me just before we had sex. We'd been going on lots of dates in the past month and things had been progressing pretty well in the bedroom department- but I had said I didn't want to have sex until he could stay the night after. So we'd waited til a weekend we were both free to spend the whole time together. He even met my mum the day before that weekend as she was visiting ?. And he asked me to be his GF that day.

Literally we were getting hot and heavy and he suddenly just said really maturely that when we did have sex it would be his first time. I was really really surprised. I didn't see that coming at all from past activities! I was really pleased he told me- because I guess I behaved a bit differently? Like I really wanted it to be about him and did everything I could to make it the best for him etc and make it work. I appreciated that he was mature enough to tell me- of course I felt a lot of pressure incase he regretted it after- but I was very much emotionally invested by that point so it was just going to be a learning experience for both of us.

 

Yes it wasn't perfect the first time- but he's learning fast, we talk openly and give feedback etc. Communication is key.

 

He's 28 and recently told me that for various reasons he hasn't had a GF since he was 17... and just a handful of dates inbetween. He'd never made a girl orgasm before me and was pretty inexperienced.

 

Basically I really appreciate his honesty with everything. And OP there is hope! Don't write yourself off yet

[Mysterio]

You should just Youtube everything you want to know about. Everybody is in experianced with a person, unless they get to know you. So don't make it a big deal.

 

You don't have to say anything unless you are directly asked.

[ZA Dater]

But every other woman will see it as a giant negative.

 

 

 

Thank you for calling it as it is.