some_username1 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 It was a comparison to make a point. She consented to something that was virtually impossible - she did so out of desperation because she didn’t want to lose him. Asking someone to not have friends of the opposite sex is, in my opinion, emotional abuse. I had a partner once Who did that to me. Amongst other restrictions... i lived in a prison in my own apartment, basically. Your friend should make more reasonable requests. This girl shouldn't be putting it around town in the first place! She made her bed and then agreed to lie in it, totally on her. Link to post Share on other sites
some_username1 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 A comparison to what? Something completely unrelated? I disagree, asking someone to do something is different to telling them to do so. He made the rules clear and she agreed. Fortunately he has ended it. I do wonder if the replies would be different should the sexes be reversed.. I don't think this is the most objective forum you will find on the internet so my money is firmly on high fives all round if a woman successfully negotiated a 'no female friends' rule after a guy cheated. It seems pretty clear to me- she was offered a 2nd chance with a condition attached. She agreed to that condition, nobody put a gun to her head and forced her to do anything she wasn't willing to do. She brought the condition upon herself firstly by using her own free will to cheat and then secondly by using free will to accept the new terms. She then used her own free will to break those terms. I'm struggling to have any sympathy really. The morals of whether that condition was a fair one is a separate issue. She may be better off without him, he is definitely better off without her. Case closed. Link to post Share on other sites
2much4 Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 What did you want her to do? Tell her PT she can't add him on Facebook because her boyfriend has an issue with it? That's ridiculous. Adding someone on Facebook and chatting from time to time isn't being friends, that's barely being acquaintances. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 And which law was he violating by saying what he said? Contact a lawyer. He/she will assist you better regarding legal issues in your country. But you know something is illegal the moment you ask a lawyer to put the contract into writing, and your request gets rejected, because what you are asking for cannot be written on paper. If you write a contract/agreement with void, invalid or ineffective provisions or terms, the risk is the entire document will be void and ineffective. If what you ask is against human rights and/or pertains to any form of abuse (in this case, as mentioned "emotional abuse" leading to isolation), don't expect to be in the right. I do wonder if the replies would be different should the sexes be reversed..Abuse is wrong regardless of gender. But it's a fact that it happens more often at the expense of women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 She has poor boundaries. As a condition of taking her back, your buddy made an unreasonable & controlling request. This woman stupidly agreed to it. It's ridiculous to think that she'd have no male friends. You can't cut contact with 1/2 the population. Plus who is to decide what a "friend" is & what is or isn't appropriate? If she talks to her trainer, is that prohibited or is only social media a bridge too far? What about men in her place of work? If she walks in this morning & say "how 'bout them Eagles, last night" while getting coffee has she broken her promise to your buddy? The parameters are too fuzzy & unrealistic. However, she agreed to it. When your buddy said the trainer had to go, she said no. She made a choice, the trainer over you buddy. So that is that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 OK, that'll cover the whataboutism. Let's get back to the topic which is a relationship which apparently included some infidelity and a conditional reconciliation. I'll also move this to our Friendship forum since there is nothing offered here that states or implies that the thread starter is dating or involved in this relationship other than as a friend. Moderation will expect advice or opinion to be offered in that vein, as what would you tell a friend involved in this topic. Thanks! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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