hippychick3 Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 Did she demand an apology? I mean, I learn after all these years, if we don't speak up, we pretty much lose all our rights to complain later on. She decided he is no good after the first mistake. If she was 17 years old, she would not have done that because she would give people chances and they might prove themselves to be worthy or they might not, but now, she decided he is no good because she think all men are no good. He might be no good, but cut him some slack! Everybody forgets sometimes or whatever the reason might be. Not interested! I don't think so, or else why would he bother trying to talk to her again. It’s not her responsibility to demand an apology. He’s a grown adult and the onus is on him to apologize for his “mistake.” He chose not to do so, so the OP made the grown up decision (not the one of a 17 year old) to not allow herself to be disrespected again. Good for her. If he REALLY was a good, decent man who made an innocent mistake (which i highly doubt in my 17 + many more years experience), he would have immediately apologized on his own and made it clear he felt remorseful about “falling asleep” while their date was supposed to be happening. 5
Flame Aura Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 He had made plans with the OP. What he did was inconsiderate, and the least he should have done (if it were an innocent mistake) was to APOLOGIZE. But they didn't make plans. OP spent all day messaging about random stuff but then waits till 6pm to arrange a specific time and place. Why didn't she do this before? If the guy fell asleep for whatever reason before seeing her message then she is being harsh on him. If they had agreed 8pm at xxx then he just wakes up at 10pm then I would totally agree.
Arieswoman Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 FA, They did make plans - they planned a date. To me a date is about 7.30/8.00.pm Why didn't she do this before? I don't see it's her job to do the heavy lifting he should have firmed up the arrangements well before this. she is being harsh on him. I disagree, and think he's been cut plenty of slack. If it was me and nothing had been confirmed by Fri night at the latest I would have assumed nothing was happening on the Sat and made other plans
Gaeta Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 So back in the man hater's club again. So he's a jerk, like many we meet online. He was not having a nap, he was out on another date that went pretty well and didn't want to stop it. I have seen it more than once. I remember once going on a date and when I got home after the guy texted me by accident: sorry honey I missed your call I was having a nap. He was not having a nap, he was on a date with me. That being said: this is how the game is played and you need to accept these things will happen, hating men isn't going to help you find a good one. All this frustration, bitterness ooze out of you when you meet a new guy and it's not attractive to them. Attraction has a lot to do with *vibes* and what you feel inside is projected out there so de-program this thinking that men are this and that and you hate them. 3
Flame Aura Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 FA, They did make plans - they planned a date. To me a date is about 7.30/8.00.pm I don't see it's her job to do the heavy lifting he should have firmed up the arrangements well before this. I disagree, and think he's been cut plenty of slack. If it was me and nothing had been confirmed by Fri night at the latest I would have assumed nothing was happening on the Sat and made other plans That's exactly my point - nothing was confirmed. I agree he should have arranged it before, but there's nothing wrong with her asking 'so what time/location we meeting tonight?' during their messaging on the day. I would have arranged and planned it all days in advance personally, but not everyone is that organised. He was probably just trying to be laid back and play it cool without pushing.
Jennakay08 Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 You are being very hard on him. He took a nap, does not mean anything besides that. You people and punctuality. It's not the end of the world, it happened, and it might not happen again. Does not mean he is ignorant or inconsiderate. He is just tired. I dont know for me when you disrespect my time it is rude. A little text before the nap would have been nice to her, an apology would have been nice. I am very big on keeping commitments, if I tell you I am going to be there unless a huge emergency comes up I WILL be there. It is a huge character flaw to do even things like this. He is showing her already that her time means nothing to him. I would have done the same thing OP did. 4
TheTraveler Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 What do you expect from internet dating? This happens all the time 1
kendahke Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 You are being very hard on him. He took a nap, does not mean anything besides that. You people and punctuality. It's not the end of the world, it happened, and it might not happen again. Does not mean he is ignorant or inconsiderate. He is just tired. All cell phones have alarm clocks and other means of alerting one. He wasn't tired... he was just inconsiderate and her time wasn't important to him. 4
kendahke Posted January 29, 2018 Posted January 29, 2018 Did she demand an apology?I mean, I learn after all these years, if we don't speak up, we pretty much lose all our rights to complain later on.She decided he is no good after the first mistake.If she was 17 years old, she would not have done that because she would give people chances and they might prove themselves to be worthy or they might not,but now, she decided he is no good because she think all men are no good.He might be no good, but cut him some slack!Everybody forgets sometimes or whatever the reason might be. Not interested! I don't think so, or else why would he bother trying to talk to her again. So weak it boggles the mind... He's calling because he's negging her. If "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to stand you up" didn't come out of his mouth of his own volition (because grown men own their mistakes and F-boys make excuses), then he didn't care. "S'up... why you not answering..." the next day isn't an apology and no adult should have to force another adult to open a can of act right--he should be doing that of his own volition. That weak sauce attempt was just that---weak a.f. She said that bit about all men being no good out of frustration. Don't get it twisted. She's a grown woman and as such doesn't owe anyone any chances when they've failed so spectacularly and indifferently. This isn't some lame hollywood movie script here. He isn't owed slack--he isn't owed anything. He's a stranger and a stranger he will stay, since through his behavior, that's how he wanted to play this. This isn't the back of beyond---there's cell phone service everywhere and there's certainly electrical lines running everywhere. Phones and alarm clocks work surprisingly well as does a roommate coming in and pouring cold water on you to wake you up, if needs be. If this was a job interview and he pulled this, should the company give him another chance (to blow through another interview)? Not in this lifetime. Nope--he got one chance and he blew it. That's all you get. He needs to grow up and learn to proceed better. 4
Noproblem Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I feel some of the replies here are way too harsh and angry more than OP reaction herself. Relax, he is just one guy, I chose to defend him because I felt he might have really slept and some people don't apologize that much does not make them the worse kind of people out there. Ever thought that he might be shy? He might be shy and not ready to meet Op and he is a terrible liar and said he slept. We don't know him, we don't really know he wanted a booty call or that he was indeed with another woman. Your harsh reaction toward him is surprising, you don't know the guy!
kendahke Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I feel some of the replies here are way too harsh and angry more than OP reaction herself. Relax, he is just one guy, I chose to defend him because I felt he might have really slept and some people don't apologize that much does not make them the worse kind of people out there. Ever thought that he might be shy? He might be shy and not ready to meet Op and he is a terrible liar and said he slept. We don't know him, we don't really know he wanted a booty call or that he was indeed with another woman. Your harsh reaction toward him is surprising, you don't know the guy! neither do you, yet here you are being his apologist. 1
fredflint Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 I was supposed to have an internet date on Saturday. We were texting during the day, I was telling him about this new job I am working (as a home health aide in the midst of cleaning out a hoarder's house). I get home around 4 pm, we continued to text just about things. Around 6 pm I send a text asking (as we had talked about this earlier in the day) if we were still on for the night, time and locations. No response. An hour went by and there was no response, I figured that was that. I put on my pjs and sat in front of the computer and did some things. At about 10 pm I get a text from him saying he was just getting up from a nap. Is it too late to go out? He'll shower and change for it. Then he texted he probably should have set this up earlier in the day. I didn't even respond. No "I'm sorry" even. What a loser. So back in the man hater's club again. Did you have the date and time already arranged? Or could he have taken it as more like, let's play it by ear Saturday? Even in the latter case it sounds a bit inconsiderate. Definitely isn't going to make you feel special. But don't hate all men because of his actions. Lots of people flake, but certainly not all. Doesn't make it right but at least you found out what's he's like sooner rather than later. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 30, 2018 Posted January 30, 2018 People have often times accused me of having cutthroat rules and regulations for things. Time and experience has taught me otherwise about these things. If you don't play that means you're not interested and we have no future. Don't waste time with time wasters. FACT. Amen. I don't waste any time with time wasters. But I don't let it upset me. Lots of people on dating sites are flakes. I have a feeling some of the women are even worse. Just comes with the territory. Be prepared for it, delete, and move on. Like SevenCity said, be thankful you found out now he's clueless and not smart before you invested any time meeting him.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 31, 2018 Author Posted January 31, 2018 He sent me ANOTHER text today! He said "Are we not talking anymore because I fell asleep and wasn't available until 10PM on a Saturday night?" Duh! That's another thing I've noticed with the internet dating thing, men REALLY DO NOT LIKE TO BE REJECTED. I don't understand how or why this is the case other than the fact that no one likes to have their feelings / egos hurt. But I also do not understand how/why it is that I seem to end up with the ones who lament all the time that they were always the ones who were dumped and yet THEY end up breaking up with me. But I'm going to block this person in question on my phone. He's not worth the time and the effort. He was rude and inconsiderate to do that to me in the first place. 3
Miss Spider Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 ...and the guilt tripping begins. Did he actually suggest meeting up after he “woke up” ? If so, he was tryna booty call. He is a confused soul
Author mortensorchid Posted January 31, 2018 Author Posted January 31, 2018 ...and the guilt tripping begins. Did he actually suggest meeting up after he “woke up” ? If so, he was tryna booty call. He is a confused soul Yup. I deserve more than that. 1
she'stheone Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Hi mortensorchid, I'm sorry you've had such trouble with dating. You seem to have a lot of anger towards men in general. Your comments about this man are way too harsh for what happened. While I agree it was inconsiderate and he should have apologized he didn't do anything deserving of so much anger. Your post titled says it all. You should do some personal development and spiritual work and release all that anger you have been holding on to. Until you do, you will continue to struggle in your dating and life in general. Sending you much love and light 1
Ruby Slippers Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 Good call. He sounds completely clueless. 1
kendahke Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 He sent me ANOTHER text today! But I'm going to block this person in question on my phone. He should have been blocked the night he stood you up. 1
smackie9 Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 I guess he was never told, first impressions count! A man that is promptly on time, all cleaned up, shaved, hair cut and smelling nice is what I remembered when I was dating....the olden days when men went the extra mile. 3
Highndry Posted January 31, 2018 Posted January 31, 2018 I guess he was never told, first impressions count! A man that is promptly on time, all cleaned up, shaved, hair cut and smelling nice is what I remembered when I was dating....the olden days when men went the extra mile. I don't think that's the olden days, because I will always show up to a date that way.
kendahke Posted February 1, 2018 Posted February 1, 2018 I guess he was never told, first impressions count! A man that is promptly on time, all cleaned up, shaved, hair cut and smelling nice is what I remembered when I was dating....the olden days when men went the extra mile. About 20 years ago, I had an arranged date through a service and the guy showed up looking (and smelling) like he'd just dug up the back 40. I just told him I was sick and I closed the door. Then I went and called the agency and burned them down over it. 1
GreenTea937 Posted February 2, 2018 Posted February 2, 2018 Its like he just wanted a booty call. He ignored you until it was booty call hour.
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