New Girl, having a tough time

[morrowrd]

Have you offered to help her move? Pack?

[Grey40]

Have you offered to help her move? Pack?

 

I did like last week and she insisted that she was fine and that her brothers were going to help her but she did thank me for offering.

[justwhoiam]

Why would she come Drive an hour by herself to go to dinner and hang out at my show but totally ignore me kind of the whole time?

She's not comfortable with PDA, but she likes making out when you two are alone. A relationship also includes how you interact with people around you, it's not just the two of you. Embrace her social side. Or move on and find someone else.

 

Why bother going?

She likes you.

 

Why not just bail?

Why should she? She's moving, you didn't say how far. Will this affect the dating stage? You didn't say. But maybe that crossed her mind.

 

I guess she could be friendzoning me that’s possible I guess.

You reached out for a kiss and she turned to the other side? If that's what happened, then yes. She doesn't want you as more than a friend, at least right now. But if you didn't try, then you can't know. You need to clarify that.

 

I’m thinking just stop talking to her?

Why should you stop talking to her? I don't get it. In your part of the world, if you don't have sex after 5 dates, you just drop it? Then you don't have a crush on her. Her or anyone else would be the same. I don't know how your mind works, but your reasoning sucks.

 

That said, I think you should face the elephant in the room ASAP. As soon as you meet again face to face you tell her something like:

 

You know, something weird happened while I was at your party. It's not about the person, rather about fact. One of your friends approached me while you went to the bathroom and asked me if we had done anything yet. I was caught so offguard and I was actually embarassed, and I stupidly said "No". So I was told: well, that's all's that's ever gonna happen.

I removed that incident, but then it went through my mind for some reason.

 

Then see what she says.

[Grey40]

She's not comfortable with PDA, but she likes making out when you two are alone. A relationship also includes how you interact with people around you, it's not just the two of you. Embrace her social side. Or move on and find someone else.

 

She likes you.

 

Why should she? She's moving, you didn't say how far. Will this affect the dating stage? You didn't say. But maybe that crossed her mind.

 

You reached out for a kiss and she turned to the other side? If that's what happened, then yes. She doesn't want you as more than a friend, at least right now. But if you didn't try, then you can't know. You need to clarify that.

 

Why should you stop talking to her? I don't get it. In your part of the world, if you don't have sex after 5 dates, you just drop it? Then you don't have a crush on her. Her or anyone else would be the same. I don't know how your mind works, but your reasoning sucks.

 

That said, I think you should face the elephant in the room ASAP. As soon as you meet again face to face you tell her something like:

 

You know, something weird happened while I was at your party. It's not about the person, rather about fact. One of your friends approached me while you went to the bathroom and asked me if we had done anything yet. I was caught so offguard and I was actually embarassed, and I stupidly said "No". So I was told: well, that's all's that's ever gonna happen.

I removed that incident, but then it went through my mind for some reason.

 

Then see what she says.

 

 

The PDA thing I get, but even when she greeted me outside the restaurant when we were one on one she just walked right by me without letting me hug her or anything: it was so odd. She seems to be putting in some effort in terms of seein me and what not but when it comes to opening up emotionally she’s just a clam.

 

I texted her this morning saying “hey thanks for coming last night, hope you had a really good time, forgot to tell you how great you looked good luck with everything you had to do today”

 

Been about 6 hours no reply to that message yet. She’s been a horrible texted throughout though. And shell take hours to respond so that’s fairly normal. I’d be worried if I don’t hear from her at all at some point tonight though.

 

Yeah I’m going to try set up another date, and if she agrees I’ll address the situation, you don’t think it’s a good idea to address it over text correct? Though I’m starting to get the feeling she’s starting to pull the fade.

[SevenCity]

The PDA thing I get, but even when she greeted me outside the restaurant when we were one on one she just walked right by me without letting me hug her or anything: it was so odd. She seems to be putting in some effort in terms of seein me and what not but when it comes to opening up emotionally she’s just a clam.

 

I texted her this morning saying “hey thanks for coming last night, hope you had a really good time, forgot to tell you how great you looked good luck with everything you had to do today”

 

Been about 6 hours no reply to that message yet. She’s been a horrible texted throughout though. And shell take hours to respond so that’s fairly normal. I’d be worried if I don’t hear from her at all at some point tonight though.

 

Yeah I’m going to try set up another date, and if she agrees I’ll address the situation, you don’t think it’s a good idea to address it over text correct? Though I’m starting to get the feeling she’s starting to pull the fade.

 

She is clearly not interested in you. You are wasting your valuable time with her.

 

Think back to women you had women who were interested. Much different behavior, no?

 

Don't try to figure out why she came and stayed. Trying to figure out why women do things in an exercise in futility. She could just not have had anything better to do.

 

Break up with her and walk. She might then get interest in you but she's not worth it if you are looking for a gf.

[Grey40]

Update: she finally texted me today a long paragraph—the usual rejectiOn one. I wasn’t surprised at all, totally described her awkward behavior. She said basically “I really enjoyed spending time with you blah blah but I feel more of a friendship vibe than a romantic one. I really wanted to tell you this in person but I just couldn’t find the courage to do it. Hope we can still be friends but if you don’t want to I respect that as well”

 

I wanted to be hopeful but it was just wishful thinking. I knew when I started this thread that my guy knew it was done, should have just confronted her about it sooner so it didn’t drag on for another two weeks. Oh well. In regard to the friendship thing, is there a way to avoid that happening o is that just inevitable if they’re not attracted? Clearly she must have been in the beginning or she wouldn’t have wen out. And I tried making moves multiple times and did invite her to my house to drink wine and watch a movie so I don’t think it was because I acted too slowly right?

[Grey40]

Cause I seem to have a recurring problem where I have a hard time keeping girls interested. They’ll be into me initially but then get disinterested or turned off somehow. Sometimes I feel like it’s because I don’t contact them enough... but if both people are interested it wouldn’t feel like that right? Hard not to second guess yourself when this stuff happens repeatedly.

[SevenCity]

In the past 1.5 years I've been dating only the first one I went out with did this. Sure, others have left but it wasn't a surprise as we weren't a match.

 

Since that first one I've managed to have sex with any that went to a second date. A lot of what I learned was read from Corey Wayne's book (every woman here will bash it calling it PUA - it is not). I would recommend reading it.

 

Although I don't agree with everything he teaches, one thing stuck - focus your efforts on women who are interested in you. It prevents you from wasting Time (over a month?) like you did on this one.

 

You have to escalate and it sounds like you were trying so that good. Not all women are the same but I've found sex usually happens in 2-3 dates. Her lack of wanton to be touched and ignoring you are signs she was not interested. You'll learn to pick up on this easier as you date more.

[Juha]

Corey Wayne is good, I do not agree with everything but he definitely is

good at teaching you to weed out the uninterested ones and moving on quickly so you do not waste time.

 

Only focus on someone who shows you they want to see you

You should get his book and read it...

 

 

In the past 1.5 years I've been dating only the first one I went out with did this. Sure, others have left but it wasn't a surprise as we weren't a match.

 

Since that first one I've managed to have sex with any that went to a second date. A lot of what I learned was read from Corey Wayne's book (every woman here will bash it calling it PUA - it is not). I would recommend reading it.

 

Although I don't agree with everything he teaches, one thing stuck - focus your efforts on women who are interested in you. It prevents you from wasting Time (over a month?) like you did on this one.

 

You have to escalate and it sounds like you were trying so that good. Not all women are the same but I've found sex usually happens in 2-3 dates. Her lack of wanton to be touched and ignoring you are signs she was not interested. You'll learn to pick up on this easier as you date more.

[justwhoiam]

Sometimes I feel like it’s because I don’t contact them enough...

This was not one of those cases. She either didn't know what she wanted or she played with you. I hope it's the former, because the latter is a bit mean. Meaner than that is hoping to see someone you know... like you play in a band, and she was interested in one of the other guys...

 

Hard not to second guess yourself when this stuff happens repeatedly.

I hear you. She said she likes you more as a friend, so you got friendzoned. Although this can seem like a curse, especially if it happens repeatedly, try to see it as a good thing. By still being single, you're still available for the right one when she comes your way. Just be patient. It's probably hard not to second guess, but I'm not sure it'd take you anywhere if you analyze yourself. If you have a female friend who can be honest with you, set up a fake date with her and let her tell you where you go wrong or if you do anything that can turn a woman off. Not knowing you, I can't tell. As you don't seem to have any problem taking girls out, I guess you're decent enough and possibly good looking too.

[justwhoiam]

A lot of what I learned was read from Corey Wayne's book (every woman here will bash it calling it PUA - it is not). I would recommend reading it.

Sorry. Titles like: how to submit her. Not worth a comment.

[SevenCity]

Sorry. Titles like: how to submit her. Not worth a comment.

 

It's easy to make snap judgements when you haven't read any of it and don't understsnd.

 

It seems consistent with your other posts in this thread.

[Grey40]

I’ve read and watched Corey Wayne’s stuff and really find it to be really off base. I do agree that in terms of weeding people out and not wasting time is key.

 

I need to be more upfront and go for it with less hesitation. I think I had I been slightly more aggressive in my attempts things could have went differently. I could have suggested going to her house, or really went in for a big makeout or something because I would have at least found out sooner how she felt.

 

I agree that when I’ve had successful flings/relationships in the past I mad physical things happen very quickly— 1-3 dates max. When I’ve waited it’s never worked out except once with my very first gf I dated for 5 years but she was an 18 year old virgin at the time so for her she wasn’t really looking at things the same way as most. Even then it was still like 5th-6th time seeing her (because she was scared).