Author Boundsella Posted January 24, 2018 Author Share Posted January 24, 2018 And thank you to all those who bothered sending these amazing messages to me. It does help you know, knowing I'm not on my own. Sometimes it's easier to just let it out to strangers and the friends and family who know more of the story and have such strong opinions I can't handle it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Boundsella Posted January 25, 2018 Author Share Posted January 25, 2018 So I received a bloody letter from him saying that most of his best times were spent with me and how he'll always love me etc etc. But let's be frends. I was just about getting better but he broke my heart all over again. Kept reading and reading it last night which made thing 10 times worse, couldn't even get out of bed to get to work this morning. Feeling absolutely horrendous right now. After all he said how is there ever a chance of finding someonel else if even a person who supposedly still loves you doesn't to be with you??? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 You need to realize that he sent the letter out of a warped sense of kindness. Small upside -- you date men who aren't total monsters. He also sent that letter for very selfish reasons. He thinks it absolves him of hurting you. You will find somebody else. His is just one opinion. Just because this didn't work doesn't mean the next one won't work. You are clearly a nice person if that guy's own mother took you in. Wallow if you must but tomorrow pick yourself up & go to work. Keep up the aparment hunt. You will get through this . . one painful day at a time but I promise in time you won't jurt quite so much. Hang in there. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
maxi105 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Hi Boundsella, its been a month and i am wondering how things are for you? hopefully it will hurt a little bit less for you, I'm not saying you will not be still feeling quite raw about this still, but you have gone a month...and you probably didn't think the first week would be possible, never mind the 3rd day. keep with things and i hope you will find peace in your heart and more moments of calmness where you can clear your mind of the pain as a constant cycle. I was reading over quickly some of the other posts, and i loved the one just before mine, someone suggesting they had a little dog to help them cope. I really like that (if you are in a position to keep, care and walk a dog) because they love unconditionally and i also think getting out into nature will do you a world of good. the nights are beginning to change and sure you may dip later in the week for obvious reasons! but if you can get to march then hopefully the change of season will also be the start for a greater gentler strength in you, and then it will be 2 months you will have battled. it has been a battle for you and that has come over in your post, but take the good as best you can from all of the well wishes online for you here and draw strength from those that know you personally and love you no matter what has gone on over the years for you. keep going with this, and don't be tempted back or give into the heartache of regret by what you have lost. people can and do come through so many difficult things and so can you too. but like ive said one day at a time and you will get there. you have done a month already!!!!! and i am sure even if you are still very sad about the situation, there is already more strength in your emotions than there was when you wrote in about it all. we are thinking of you, so just you keep on going. you will get there in however long it takes you, but you will come out the other side, you just gotta trust and keep going. best wishes, maxi:) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BrokeI Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 Hey Boundsella, i hope you are doing okay. Month ago, my wife left me and the kids for another man after 12 years. It was easily the most difficult period of my life. She was overly cruel and left me destroyed in every part. I was very near to end it and at some moment, i was feeling the pain was too powerful. Month of no eat, no sleep , no work ... I don't know what keep me alive, maybe faith, maybe my kids, but i remember being so suicidal, i was picturing the end every day. But today, i'm OK. It was difficult but i'm alive and more important, i want to live. I'm very afraid to die now, i want to see my kids grow, care for them, do things, be successful ... I know you feel like there are no other way out, but there are ... In three month, i made some powerful change, have some success, handle all the situation like a boss and i feel great. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to rebirth. Focus on you, take care of you and the wheel will turn, way faster than you think. Book was part of my healing part. Tony robbins, Louise Hay ... There are some powerful words in some of their books. Good luck and if you need to talk, don't hesitate to send me a private message. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Boundsella Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 Hi all, Thank you so much for your support and all the kind words. I don't want to be a burden to my friends and family after a month of moping, so have withdrawn quite a lot these days. It's been a rollercoaster these past few weeks, I've pushed myself to go out and keep busy just to keep those thoughts and memories away but I've settled into this deep sadness mode lately. I go to work, put a smile on my face as I'm sure people are sick of hearing me talk about how heartbroken I am. I just don't know how to find a balance - I'm either out drinking with friends which makes me feel a little better and forget for a while, or I'm hiding in the bedroom crying my eyes out. Honestly, I'm such a mess, feel like I'm stuck in this deep pit that I can't find my way out of. Mornings are the worst when the realisation that I'm on my own hits me, it's just crippling at times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Boundsella Posted February 12, 2018 Author Share Posted February 12, 2018 If any of you met me a few months you wouldn't believe it's the same person. I'm a naturally happy go lucky, sociable type of person, totally not used to feeling this bad. Maybe it's why it's hitting me so hard Link to post Share on other sites
CaliBabe Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 OP, I recommend getting professional help. A therapist will do you worlds of good! Talking from personal experience. Its nice to spend an hour with someone soley focused on you and your experience. They also have the tools to help you. Friends, family a forum, is helpful but none are quite equipped like a therapist. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Boundsella Posted February 22, 2018 Author Share Posted February 22, 2018 Just checking in with you, lovely lot. I'm over a month in and can tell you all that I'm feeling SO much better. Still get sad at times, but I simply woke up one morning and told myself 'this is enough'. I can't let one person have such control over my emotions and that was it really. Simply made a conscious decision to stop moping around and move on with my life. Having the time and space gave me a better perception of things as well. Honestly, what was I even doing with that guy?? No **** when they say love is blind. And deaf. And all sorts. Even went for a drink with my ex the other week, think he's feeling bad about the whole thing, and all the time I was there I could not stop thinking that even tho I still love him I deserve so much better. Upwards and forwards folks! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 22, 2018 Share Posted February 22, 2018 So happy that you are finding your balance again. Keep up the progress. Link to post Share on other sites
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