BTDT2012 Posted January 25, 2018 Share Posted January 25, 2018 Stay out of the disagreements with your wife and her ex. Let them hash out their visitation schedules. You are the 'Dad', the male authority figure in your house, in your house. No, your wife should not be doing anything to diminish their father's role. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SCFenway Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I'm unclear on something... you say he pays next to nothing in support and you then posted ($600) is he paying the $600 or is that what he is supposed to pay and is not paying? $600 isn't next to nothing, it's actually on the high end for most people in terms of support. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 5, 2018 Share Posted February 5, 2018 I like Sunlight's advice (post #24) except am not sure about the ceremony idea at this point. Imo, you're going to need to start having some conversations with your wife about this when the kids aren't around, of course. I'd present to her the idea of how she would feel if her ex had custody of the kids and tried to edge her out of time she was supposed to have with them. You probably would be well served to get a third party (counselor) involved in this as it seems to me this type of issue has the potential to grow into a bigger problem than it already seems to be and to negatively affect your marriage. Blending a family isn't easy. I didn't remarry after my divorce but my ex has remarried several times and the wives have added stress to my ex's R with our children all three times. Link to post Share on other sites
Midwestmom12 Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 This is a tough situation. I'm a divorced single mom to a 10 year old wonderful boy. I am not in a new relationship but my ex always is to some degree. I can only offer this. Every child is different in how they react to a divorce. My ex fought me hard to have visitation even though when my son is with him he dumps him on family or his new flavor of the month. Even though he sees our son I of course I have to fight to get the child support he agreed to pay. Some bio dads, not all want to maintain visitation to keep tabs on their exes. Some don't. What I'm trying to say is, you're there with them everyday. You are dad now. I applaud you for giving their bio dad his respect. And your wife shouldn't push him out but I believe this happens sometimes because of negative feelings that she has for the ex. It's probably very easy for her and the kids to feel out of sight out of mind with him because they see you in action everyday doing the job. It's not your fault or your wife's fault that he only seems them up to 5 times a year. That's hardly nothing at all and that's on him. Not her or you. He has a right to see them and giving him his respect is the right thing to do. But understand how your wife feels and the children. Bio dad is barely there so why wouldn't she look more to her husband? The man she is with who agreed to honor her, cherish her and is the one on site helping her? Talk to her but also try to understand where she is coming from. I hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
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