Text whenever

[Chilli]

That was meant to be as far as l'm concerned btw, spell checkers.

hopefully l'm not condemned haha .

 

ps ,at that age he shouldn't be caught up in all this internet do's and don't bs but hey , he might be. Give him a bit more time MC , never know,

Edited January 15, 2018 by Chilli

[Sm12345]

He doesn't seem that interested. I agree with the above poster, men should be the hunter/gatherer but so many of them are not. They let women take the lead or something or they seem to expect the women to chase them, and I kind of hinted that I wanted to meet him in the second conversation text. But he's not responding either way to this. SO I'm moving on.

We do this because women seem to like it when we chase, to a point.

 

The woman I’m seeing is very affectionate in person, but also very busy (as am I.) I’m not going to spend my entire day talking to her over text. What would we have to talk about in person if I did this?

 

I know she likes getting my texts, but I also know she has her own life.

 

You sound a bit stuck up, and very naive/immature if you think a guy is going to chase a woman he barely knows.

[MaleIntuition]

Bit off topic, but I keep reading that men should or shouldn’t behave in a certain way because of assumptions about pre-historic societies.

 

We don’t know what the gender roles in Stone Age looked like, but it’s a fairly easy assumption that both gender contributed. It would simply be illogical to not use all available resources as efficiently as possible. Gathering honey or nuts doesn’t require physical strength, neither does rabbit hunting. As soon as children could walk, they had to be taught and brought along. If my tribe where to attack yours: I would bring everyone, and if you foolishly decided to defend with half of your population I would win.

 

Assuming that men whom doesn’t chase aren’t “men enough” because of false extrapolations from pre-historic societies is not really productive. Of course it’s perfectly valid to wish for a decisive and assertive partner: But that’s simply a personality trait found among both genders (Extroverted thinking as dominant function would conform to that stereotype (ESTJ/ENTJ)).

 

In this case it’s to early to judge his personality. He seems interested but my guess would be that he is a bit rusty (?) with current dating paradigm (which is changing rapidly with all new technology). I’m also not a fan “chatting” through text, most people here seems to agree that it’s better to go for an early “pre-date”: But the question is, does he know that?

[sdraw108]

ANd how do you like that? About five minutes after I posted the above response, he texted me asking how I am and hoped my day went well. Ha. I will wait at least an hour or so before I respond to him.

 

These kind of games, and ones that others have suggested above, are pointless.

 

Just ask the man out. It takes 5 seconds, and then you can either go on a date or forget about it.

 

This whole thread is a little bit ridiculous in my opinion. This sexist crap about how the man must make the first move will just cause you to waste unnecessary time.

[TheFinalWord]

Guy's perspective: I think you are over thinking it. More than likely, he was just being nice. Men aren't that deep

[Chilli]

Ahh , just for the record, l don't chase , but l does like my hunting haha.

And l wasn't saying she doesn't help.

l think last time l saw this stuff come up it got all blown up then too but eh, each to their own.

Just do whatever you do fellas, y'know, if it ain't broke !

Edited January 15, 2018 by Chilli

[smackie9]

It has been posted before....some guys don't make a move to ask the ladies out thinking women need time to get to know you before you ask them out....This could be with this fella. Guys are clueless and need guidance. If you don't make comment or a suggestion to meet, they will take forever to ask you out. How can he know you are interested if you don't? Answering his texts means jack crap to a guy.

 

if whatever you are doing isn't working for you, do the exact opposite.

[Chilli]

In all fairness though, a lot of guys have had a kickin from women so it's not that they're clueless they've gotten hold back, l'd say they just want more sure things before they'll go on a limb.

but there's also a fine line for women too, is he even interested , or is he waiting for her to do more before he acts.

 

All l mean is if l wanted her all l need is a bit of warmness, a good vibe sorta thing, l'd take it form there, If she said no , oh well . l know there'd be no hard feelings.

To me it's just the natural scheme of things,l'm a male she's a female and so it goes.

No way l'd expect her to do the asking though l love the feminine old school touch in her too,

[mortensorchid]

It has been posted before....some guys don't make a move to ask the ladies out thinking women need time to get to know you before you ask them out....This could be with this fella. Guys are clueless and need guidance. If you don't make comment or a suggestion to meet, they will take forever to ask you out. How can he know you are interested if you don't? Answering his texts means jack crap to a guy.

 

if whatever you are doing isn't working for you, do the exact opposite.

 

NO. I learned otherwise. Communication is the key to everything in life, and if he's not communicating directly by asking "I want us to meet" then he's not that interested. Fact.

[Cookiesandough]

Bit off topic, but I keep reading that men should or shouldn’t behave in a certain way because of assumptions about pre-historic societies.

 

We don’t know what the gender roles in Stone Age looked like, but it’s a fairly easy assumption that both gender contributed. It would simply be illogical to not use all available resources as efficiently as possible. Gathering honey or nuts doesn’t require physical strength, neither does rabbit hunting. As soon as children could walk, they had to be taught and brought along. If my tribe where to attack yours: I would bring everyone, and if you foolishly decided to defend with half of your population I would win.

 

Assuming that men whom doesn’t chase aren’t “men enough” because of false extrapolations from pre-historic societies is not really productive. Of course it’s perfectly valid to wish for a decisive and assertive partner: But that’s simply a personality trait found among both genders (Extroverted thinking as dominant function would conform to that stereotype (ESTJ/ENTJ)).

 

In this case it’s to early to judge his personality. He seems interested but my guess would be that he is a bit rusty (?) with current dating paradigm (which is changing rapidly with all new technology). I’m also not a fan “chatting” through text, most people here seems to agree that it’s better to go for an early “pre-date”: But the question is, does he know that?

 

No one brought up prehistoric society. You don't even need to go back more than 100 years to get a grasp of traditional gender roles. and to think within 100 years we've experienced a complete and total paradigm shift is kind of ludicrous. Cultural mores don't change that drastically in that span of time. Has it become more common for women to pursue men? Yes, but that doesn't mean gender roles don't still underpin behavior. I mean even back then, there were certainly women outliers who still did it and "succeeded".And whether you want to argue they are innate or socialized is one thing, but saying that men are not expected to be the initiators and are not cognizant of this is silly. Just about every relationship advice column, from the most Suzy Q to the reddist pill follows the same model where men are the pursuers. Their male role models were taught that way. They were taught that by their male role models. Now, you may be lucky and run into a guy who is so super duper into you he will overlook your eagerness and not see it as a red flag of desperation or a super duper progressive man who isn't one bit turned off by a strong and assertive woman, but your chances are greater you will run into a guy who will see this red flag of desperation or be a bit turned off but still take advantage an opportunity that doesn't come as often. But I suppose it's up to the individual to use their time and efforts where they see fit.

 

And on another note, I don't see why it's "sexist" to point out social phenomena. Like saying it's sexist to say that people will judge you if are a man wearing a long flowered dress and heels. I mean I get why someone might say it's "sexist" to judge, but it's harder to understand why advising about this is sexist

Edited January 16, 2018 by Cookiesandough

[mortensorchid]

ANd for the record, he did not text me today. This means he's not interested.

 

Don't believe me when I tell others about my "rules" and all this talk about "gender equality" and how things have and haven't changed? I have this example from MANY years ago. I had an internet date with this guy, he and I met at a bar/restaurant. After we parted ways, I did not hear from him. A few weeks later, I called him. He was surprised to hear from me, he said he wondered why I did not contact him after our get together. I forget what I said, but he said he figured I didn't want to talk to him anymore. I asked if we were going to get together again, he agreed. And we had another date. After that I think I talked to him once, I called him a week or two later. Then I called him again and his phone number changed. Never heard a word from him again.

 

When a man does this like the man in the thread is doing, that means HE'S NOT THAT INTO ME and DON'T WASTE TIME WITH TIME WASTERS. Fact.

[LoverOfDance]

@montensorchid - I think you're getting better at the online dating thing - you're getting better at recognizing when not to invest your time and energy I think. This is good because you save yourself a lot of hurt and save your emotional energy for those that are worth investing in.

 

I think you're making more progress than you realize.

[hippychick3]

If the guy is not asking her out and making no suggestions to meet up, then he’s not that interested. OP should not bother with him anymore. This guy is lukewarm at best.

 

Online dating isn’t about finding a texting buddy.

[Shining One]

I think he was talking to several women and the OP wasn't at the top of his list. She did nothing to stand out, so she stayed wherever she was in his list.

[Ruby Slippers]

One thing I've learned for sure is that when a man is interested in a woman, he makes it abundantly clear. You don't have to wonder.

 

I've learned simply to not worry about the ones who aren't making it clear.

 

You'll encounter hundreds of mismatches on dating sites. It's not a bad thing, nobody's fault, just the way it is. Just breeze past the many mismatches and focus on the handful of matches with potential.