Tinder/Online dating Tips

[staggerlee71]

lets face it. if your a women, you have to vet. if your a women who is online dating, and not having success, your vetting process sucks

 

and then of course, there is only one superman

[rightondude]

to me, it is the same way as the bar. If you are a woman at a crowded bar, there are (at least) 5-10 guys who will have sex with you. No matter how good you look, how sane you are, how stinky you are, whatever, there's at least 5 guys out there that will take you back to their house and have sex with you. Every night. Extrapolate that by the fact tinder has none of the barriers to making that happen and you see how that 5-10 a night can easily multiply to 1000 in a short term.

 

For us guys, it's like ... yeah, unless you're off the cover of Men's Health, you gotta grind brother. You gotta pull off every trick, lighting and angle to get those chicks to swipe right. Then from there, you have to weed your way through those other dudes who have something over you from a looks or whatever perspective.

 

It's freaking amazing to me I've been as successful (and it's not remarkably successful) as I have been!

[hercules22]

if you match when should u ask for their number after couple messages or asap and try get a phone call going some girls take ages to reply

[MaleIntuition]

When you say “women” have a gazilion matches you mean young and attractive women, same luck in that group as in attractive guys. When I dated 4-5 years ago I never had so many matches, true not on tinder, I dont think it quite took off back then . I did not have problems getting dates but I did not swim in requests either.

 

As a woman, when you first sign up for a service, you get more interest. I usually had up to 20ish messages to start with and out of those I’d get say 3 men good enough to go on a first date with. After that things slowed down.

 

After being on a site for a while, in my case, match, I would search/view men profiles every Monday evening , which would land me again say 5 messages and 1 or two men I could go on a date with. That was a strategy to keep my profile at top visibility. It wasn’t bad but no flood. If I never logged in I never got messages.

 

So my point is that there is a lot of generalization about “men” and “women”.

 

5 messages/week is plenty compared to zero that the average men will get.

[BluEyeL]

True. Also the bar analogy is true. Fewer women would go to bars seeking casual sex than men. A lot fewer women . So for the guy looking to go home with someone they never met before I can see how it’s tough. As an average woman I did not go out with anyone who would even give a whiff of casual sex seeking vibe so I assume it’s tough/impossible to get that online for less attractive men.

[some_username1]

There is no magic here. Be good looking and you will get more hits.

 

I read an article once that stated women swipe right most on abs/shirtless pics; despite so many saying they hate it - the numbers don’t lie.

 

They also said cleavage pics got the most right swipes from men.

 

In other news, water is wet.

 

It is like the old saying goes- if you want to catch fish who do you ask? The fish, or the fisherman?

[some_username1]

5 messages/week is plenty compared to zero that the average men will get.

 

Yep, a totally passive 'revenue stream', what could be better?

 

Meanwhile us guys have to create our own leads which can be soul destroying. I recall reading a profile by a cute girl who in the 'why should you message me?' Section wrote 'because i'll probably reply!' So i sent a well crafted message being playful about a joke in her profile....she never replied. How ugly do you think that made me feel?!

[LoverOfDance]

some username1 - you're not ugly. She's just not interested. I've written to guys who never replied more times than I can count. It stings a bit but I get over it within a few mins. I know for damn sure that I am beautiful so I don't let that affect me. NEXT.

[LoverOfDance]

@hercules22 - I'd say you should ask for a girl's number after a few messages.

 

For me, if a guy takes ages to reply, my interest declines until there is no interest left. If it feels like someone isn't into you, don't waste your time, move on.

[Imajerk17]

Guys - I don't know how other girls are but this is how I swipe on tinder and other dating sites. I always swipe left if:

 

- all your pictures are group photos (sometimes I might take the time to actually try to spot you in the pictures but most times I will swipe left)

- all your pictures are shirtless pictures

- your first picture is a picture of just your abs (no face)

- your face is hidden in all your pictures

- you have no pictures

- 50% of the time I will swipe left if you have little to no description

 

I am looking to date so I would probably swipe in a different manner if I was looking for something casual. Hope this helps some guys out there somehow when creating their dating profiles.

 

 

MOST people on Tinder in your age group are looking for hookups though

 

What type of luck are you having on Tinder OP? If you are indeed looking for a relationship you are likely swimming against the tide. I get that there are always exceptions. The 1-in-50 guy you swipe right on though has plenty of other options--including women who are on there for casual sex. He likely didn't join Tinder to find a relationship in the first place as there would be better places he could go--places where he would have more to go on than just some pictures and maybe a short write-up.

 

Anyway yes this is decent basic advice for OLD for men. I'm not sure Tinder, where the focus is so much on pictures, is the best medium for average-looking guys. On Match a guy can make up for a lot with a decent blurb AND a well-crafted first message (and you don't have to "match" first as you do on Tinder to send the first message).

Edited January 16, 2018 by Imajerk17