At my age?

[todreaminblue]

This is the funniest thing I've heard all week...

 

i dont find it funny at all......what i feel is heartache..both op and this poster you quoted have had exes who have died.......deb

[Noproblem]

If you think your life is not worthy of love and you are old.

 

Then you can as well go to an isolated island and live there for the rest of your long long long long long life!

[LivingWaterPlease]

LOL your mom is quite young in spirit.

 

Similar thing happened with one of my neighbors. Ok, she was possibly about a decade younger - I think 78 or 79 at the time she met her new boyfriend, but still... She met him on a subway ride and immediately lured him into her home She is a breast cancer survivor and can't even cook (notorious with her fast food habits) but apparently this doesn't deter guys from her.

 

So sweet! My grandmother was also about 87 when she got married for the second time, to a high school friend. They made each other so much younger and had very happy ends of their lives. She died first, and he actually got married again...in his 90s!

 

These stories are fun and wonderful!

 

I think mom and her husband are great for each other and probably their love will help them live longer than they would have otherwise.

[Cobra_X]

I'm wondering if any of you married and/or started families later in life.

I am a 36 year old woman. I'm not perfect, but I'm decent looking, nurturing, educated, financially independent, and very involved in my community.

 

The bolded part no guy really cares about.

 

Every single year you wait to have a baby the harder it will become. Even at this age you may need to do IVF. I have a friend who had 2 IVF procedures fail at age 38 for a total combined cost of $60,000. They went overseas to Asia and got a third round done for $3000 and it was successful.

 

Also... one other friend who didnt meet her husband until age 40. They are currently doing IVF in Asia. First round they only got 1 egg... so this is going to be brutal as hell for her.

 

I believe in the future upper class women will freeze their eggs at age 20 just in case.

[Arieswoman]

smackie #16

 

I think when you are older, you are more mature, established, and know what you want and what you don't want....so you end up choosing better than when you were in your 20's.

 

 

^^^^^ this x 1000

[Eternal Sunshine]

OP, if I were you, I would start looking to have a child by yourself immediately.

 

Get a sperm donor and once you have it, you can go on and date. Dating with so much pressure of time running out and where every month counts is gonna be hell for you.

[Highndry]

36 is not old at all. I met the love of my life when she was 36 and I was 31. Poor timing and a tragic event in her life led to the unfortunate end of the relationship, but I can still remember how beautiful she was the moment I laid eyes on her. You are at a great age.

[Highndry]

OP, if I were you, I would start looking to have a child by yourself immediately.

 

Get a sperm donor and once you have it, you can go on and date. Dating with so much pressure of time running out and where every month counts is gonna be hell for you.

 

I completely disagree. I don't think it's time to go all 9-1-1 and hit the panic button. There's still plenty of time to meet a guy and have kids. In fact, that would drive a lot of potential suitors away.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I completely disagree. I don't think it's time to go all 9-1-1 and hit the panic button. There's still plenty of time to meet a guy and have kids. In fact, that would drive a lot of potential suitors away.

 

It's not about "panic" it's about reality.

 

If having a child is that important, why leave it up to "fate?" After 36, literally every month your chances of conceiving go down (that is assuming you don't have frozen eggs). I am not into fairy tales, it's unfortunate but something women over 35 wanting children need to consider quite seriously.

 

Drive potential suitors away? WTF? Most men in that age range have children themselves and would actually feel more comfortable being with someone that also has a child.

[No_Go]

OP is not dead set on having children, she responded she’s mainly looking for a mate.

 

Otherwise: freezing eggs at 36 is still possible but on the verge, she will likely will need 2 rounds. I have a friend that did that exactly at that age and she didn’t harvest enough eggs on round 1 (so 2 rounds and 15K down... and.she has her eggs).

 

Donor insemination is easier on the body but ethically... I’m not that sure. Also, lots of men in 35-40 range that I know are childless and will be put off by a woman with a kid. Dating older (45-50) is possibly giving much better chance guys won’t mind dating single mom.

[jjgitties]

you are 36 years old. you are still young and hawt. keep going while you still got it.

[Lamartine]

Thank you all!

 

As for freezing eggs, I don't think it's for me. I don't want a child badly enough to put myself through that process. My sister did it, and it was grueling (the hormones made her gain weight and develop a nasty temper, etc.). In an ideal world, I'd have a child, but it's not something I think about all too much.

 

A husband--in due time--is a higher priority.

 

To the person who quoted my list of attributes, is it true that the only ones a man would care about are looks and a nurturing disposition? Just curious. I'm working on losing 10 pounds right now, and, once I've done it, I will be happy with my looks. Also, I loved taking care of my ex-husband. For example, he was a foodie, and I love to cook, so I spent a year in culinary school to learn how to make him classically prepared dinners. It was so much fun. It made me happy to make him happy.

 

Also, to those of you looking for stories, I have a good one to share that should actually give me hope. My grandmother married four time--twice to the same person who was an abusive alcoholic. At age 60, her new boyfriend asked my dad and his brothers for their mom's hand in marriage. My grandmother and her final husband married at age sixty and were extremely happy together for 25 years until he died at 85. She still keeps a shrine to him--all of his pictures and Air Force medals on the wall at her house.

[Lamartine]

i dont find it funny at all......what i feel is heartache..both op and this poster you quoted have had exes who have died.......deb

 

I completely agree. My ex fell very ill after our divorce. He was my best friend, and I continued to see him every day, making sure he took his meds and doing other unsavory nurse-like activities for him. His death sent me into a depression like you wouldn't believe. For months I called his cell phone daily just to hear his voice on the voicemail.

[BarbedFenceRider]

For example, he was a foodie, and I love to cook, so I spent a year in culinary school to learn how to make him classically prepared dinners. It was so much fun. It made me happy to make him happy.

 

 

^^This. Fastest way into a mans heart. Was for me...

 

I also think, you don't need to worry so much as changing yourself for the attention of others. Be yourself and you will find similar feathers, flocking together.

[LivingWaterPlease]

The bolded part no guy really cares about.

 

Every single year you wait to have a baby the harder it will become. Even at this age you may need to do IVF. I have a friend who had 2 IVF procedures fail at age 38 for a total combined cost of $60,000. They went overseas to Asia and got a third round done for $3000 and it was successful.

 

Also... one other friend who didnt meet her husband until age 40. They are currently doing IVF in Asia. First round they only got 1 egg... so this is going to be brutal as hell for her.

 

I believe in the future upper class women will freeze their eggs at age 20 just in case.

 

Cobra, will you pm me the place they are going in Asia to do IVF? I have some friends who did it in the USA and were successful with it but want another child and it's so expensive here they probably won't do it again. Would love to give them this resource. If you can post it here, fine, but not sure it's within the guidelines of LS so you may have to pm it if you don't mind?

[1fish2fish]

Since we're sharing stories of how old our mothers were when they had us, mine was 46, and was natural and unplanned.

 

This doesn't sound very uncommon, but keep in mind that this was back in 1966, and that she gave birth to 2 children before I came along. Her first child was when she was 18 and her 2nd at 28. There is a 26 year age gap between my sister and me, and a 15 yr. gap between me and my brother.

 

I remember in Elementary school when my parents would attend my violin concerts and my friends all asked if they were my grandparents. lol

[JuneL]

I completely agree. My ex fell very ill after our divorce. He was my best friend, and I continued to see him every day, making sure he took his meds and doing other unsavory nurse-like activities for him. His death sent me into a depression like you wouldn't believe. For months I called his cell phone daily just to hear his voice on the voicemail.

 

OP: If you don't mind me asking, but why did you divorce each other?

[Sbla22]

This is a very nice thread. I'm 26 and sometimes feel like it's never going to happen for me but this thread shows love can happen at pretty much any age. Ideally I wanted to be married and have a kid by early thirties - who knows, maybe that can still happen.

[Cookiesandough]

Since we're sharing stories of how old our mothers were when they had us, mine was 46, and was natural and unplanned.

 

This doesn't sound very uncommon, but keep in mind that this was back in 1966, and that she gave birth to 2 children before I came along. Her first child was when she was 18 and her 2nd at 28. There is a 26 year age gap between my sister and me, and a 15 yr. gap between me and my brother.

 

I remember in Elementary school when my parents would attend my violin concerts and my friends all asked if they were my grandparents. lol

 

Same thing in high school LOL

[Lamartine]

OP: If you don't mind me asking, but why did you divorce each other?

 

 

About a year and a half before I filed for divorce, he lost his job. He wouldn't look for another one, and he fell into a deep depression. I booked tons of therapists appointments. Either he wouldn't go, or he would go once and then quit. In the meantime, we had to move because he couldn't afford his house anymore (I made good money as a lawyer, but it was nothing compared to what he had made as a high flying litigation partner...the house payments were 5K month, the taxes were 33K, and the upkeep on the house was 100K a year). When we moved, he was embarrassed, and he refused to unpack his boxes. There was cr*p everywhere. The final straw has that he stopped taking his medication: he had chronic illnesses that were manageable with medication. He lost 100 pounds, and his health deteriorated fast. I used to keep a journal of everything he ate and his caloric intake and sit with him and force him to eat. He was unable have sex, and I was doing everything: working, cooking, etc. I finally realized that he was passively killing himself. Because I loved him so much, I couldn't watch as he let his health get worse and worse. I felt like I was a spectator to his slow suicide. I divorced him, but I got him an apartment walking distance from my place. I saw him very day. I still loved him. He passed away in July, and it was awful. It all could have been prevented if his sister--a doctor--and I could have convinced him to take care of himself. I wouldn't wish his fate on my worst enemy.