LoverOfDance Posted January 11, 2018 Posted January 11, 2018 Girl, it seems like you've been writing about the same man for months now. If you're writing about the same guy from your previous posts, please dump him. Dump him and run. Why are you with a man who makes you obsessive and crazy? Do you like the drama? Find someone who gives you peace of mind and stop wasting your emotional energy on this man. There are better men out there. Move on. You will find better. 1
Author ktmiller222 Posted January 22, 2018 Author Posted January 22, 2018 (edited) So this guy I have been casual dating for the last few months has been out of town for work (he really is...I see pictures of him with his colleagues). I texted him last and he did respond but didn't really keep the convo going. I decided to not to text him anymore because he did tell me he would contact me when he was gone when I saw him before he flew out of town. It's been 12 days and he just texted me (he has been back for 4 days). I honestly do like him but if he really likes me, I don't think a guy would go 12 days without contact. Usually, we don't go more than 2-3 days without contact. Although it hurts my heart I'm debating whether to respond or just move on and find someone else. Or should I respond with how I think we are looking for different things??? or something else??? Edited January 22, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
alphamale Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 you said you are "casually dating". If that is the case then he can go as long as he wants without contacting you. You are not a couple. 2
snowboy91 Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 Not responding is essentially ghosting. So you definitely should message him and ask him to catch up so you can discuss how you're feeling. These sorts of conversations are much better to have face to face. Unfortunately I don't think he's showing any more interest. If you think you should move on to someone else, do so but tell him rather than just vanish.
greymatter Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 What would you have to lose by reaching out and saying hello to him, and seeing if he is interesting in catching up? If you really like him, it might be worth reaching out. If he doesn't respond or doesn't want to make a plan, at least you'll have an answer because right now you are wondering why he hasn't contacted you, and hoping to hear from him which can be hard to deal with.
mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 SOunds like he's ghosting on you. There's nothing wrong with sending a text of "hi how are you?". If he doesn't respond, you have your answer as to his true intentions, which in this case is to ghost. If he doesn't respond, move on. It may hurt, but life is too short to waste time with time wasters. 1
carhill Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 So, OP, how many in-person dates in the last few months and who initiated them?
spiderowl Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 If he really liked you, he would be in touch with you whether he was in town or not. He would be keen to speak to you and interact. He would make time for you. 3
act00 Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 You can respond AND find someone else. Whatever you're comfortable with and what you can accept. This guy has been a "casual dating" relationship, and you may have developed greater feelings for him at this point, but he's happy with the status quo and isn't interested in pursuing a whole lot with you beyond this "casual" situation you have established. That is what I think "casual dating" is really about - when there's time and interest and nothing better to do, call up the casual acquaintance, or casual "girlfriend/boyfriend" and maybe they'll be available. Respond if you wish to continue this casual relationship whenever the wind blows in your direction. Don't respond if you want more...or respond and ask to define the relationship, and if he wants to take it up a notch. If the answer is no, then no it is. Move on. 1
Purrrfect Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 I can’t imagine being back in town 4 days and not letting someone I’m dating know. He obviously didn’t miss you. I would delete his number from your phone.
Highndry Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 Being back for 4 days and just getting around to texting you now is pretty lame in my opinion. When I'm in a new relationship I really look forward to contacting a woman. What did the text say? 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 SOunds like he's ghosting on you. There's nothing wrong with sending a text of "hi how are you?". If he doesn't respond, you have your answer as to his true intentions, which in this case is to ghost. If he doesn't respond, move on. It may hurt, but life is too short to waste time with time wasters. Yep def ghosting you, no guy interested in someone will wait 12 days to text. I wouldn't bother texting him at all.
basil67 Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 I'd expect contact from a guy who was a boyfriend, but not someone I was casually dating. You say that you're possibly looking for different things. What are you looking for? And if it's a relationship, why are you casually dating someone? 1
Grey40 Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 12 Days is a really long time. But then again, he was out of town so he couldn’t set up any time to see you so maybe he figured he wouldn’t bother texting. Still, 12 is a lot to just not even stay in touch at all.
Juha Posted January 22, 2018 Posted January 22, 2018 (edited) respond with "who's this?" hahaha love it! Maybe go out with him and you can discuss that it seems you and him are looking for different things. You want a relationship and he is just being casual, no strings. See what he says. Go from there if you two are wanting opposing outcomes to dating then it is best to not see each other anymore or maybe he will step up. Thing is you never know if you do not talk with the other persona dn let them know where you are at and what you want.... Edited January 22, 2018 by Juha
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