Abusers--- do you feel true remorse

[rubyjuly]

Just wanted to know from any past abusers (not sure if any would be willing to admit to that on a public board and I totally understand that..)

If there are any men here who in the past committed domestic violence on your girlfriend/wife, how did you feel after the relationship ended-- either by choice or if you ended up being arrested/ jailed... did you feel any true remorse honestly , even heartbreak in realization of what you had done?

I'm asking because the statistics on abusers aren't very promising as far as being reformed -- from all I've been counseled on in dv program and the national dv hotline advocates apparently even those who attend a batterers program end up relapsing- for a variety of reasons. The main reason they say is because abusers mentality is very ingrained and they usually believe it wasn't their fault or a version of they're sorry but their partner made them mad so it's also on them kind of thing- which, is not the same as coming to terms with the reality and having a true heartbreaking remorse over it

I'm sure there is the small percent who do-- and that's who I was wanting to hear how those past abusers felt in their remorse.

How do you integrate the reality of the assaults inflicted on your ex partner into your self image?

Again this is mostly addressed to any past abusers who actually are the rare few who truly did take full responsibility for their actions and came to deep sorry and remorse for it. Not the majority ( according not to my own idea but according to statistics) who still believe it isn't their fault or it's partially their fault and justify it by belief that their partner "made them hit them"

 

I would appreciate if any who reply can stay to topic -- ( this is not about a thread about men who want to promote an agenda that women can be abusive too , and it isn't applicable to the topic of true self defense. I am referencing here Domestic Violence that a man commits against his girlfriend or spouse in a relationship , ** physically abusing/ assaulting her)

 

Thank you to any who are in this category and are willing to come forward and respond honestly.