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Do you think this behavior is right?


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I don't understand 100 % BPD.
HT, I lived with my BPDer exW for 15 years. I would be glad to share my experiences with you. If you're interested, please take a quick look at my list of 18 BPD Warning Signs to see if most sound very familiar. I suspect they will. If so, I would suggest you also read my more detailed description of them at my posts in Rebel's Thread. And Sal provides a concise and insightful account of what it's like to live with a BPDer for 23 years in his 3/16 post. If those descriptions ring many bells and raise questions, I would be glad to discuss them with you. Take care, HT.
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Superchicken

Bottom line HT, this is the ONLY guy you found sexting.

How many more of these have, and will re occur.

The fact she's willing to talk dirty, and send nudes, is enough to suggest she can be, at least, manipulated into having a full blown affair.

If she can be easily swayed into one thing, its not going to get a rocket scientist to tell you what else WILL happen.

I emphasis WILL, because it will happen.

It will take the right guy, time, and mood to get her re doing it all over again.

Don't wait for these conditions to line up (If it hasn't already).

Ditch her, find someone that you don't have to keep worrying about cheating on you every time she's out of your sight.

 

 

Worse, lets say you guys have an argument, then she reaches out to someone for comfort, and, well.....

 

 

Start a new life, and oh, one more thing, her health is not your responsibility.

Not until you have a rock solid commitment between the two of you, and you accept the term "In sickness and in health".

 

 

END.

 

 

Ted

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Space Ritual
Hello everyone, I'm new here.

 

I'm here to vent something who is really bugging me.

I have a 7 month relationship and everything was fine until last Monday.

 

My girlfriend is been texting (Facebook chat) with this guy for the last 2 months. They text sometimes, not every single day.

I'm complety cool with that, I'm not a jealous person at all but after new year, I woke up and my girlfriend sent to me a messages saying....

 

"send nudes"

(she knows I don't like that and for far as I know she doesn't ether, she know I'm more like, if u want something that will be in person not over a chat) so the conversation between my gf and I was like this...

 

Me: Send nudes?

Gf: Yeah

Me: What are u been doing all night?

Gf: I get bored and I sent u that messege lol

Me: yeah right

 

So after that short conversation i spend all day thinking and got to the conclusion of... She make a mistake sending me the txt, maybe was for somebody else.

 

That same night I check her Facebook chat and found a conversation with this guy about the "send nudes" messege. I knew was something weird going on.

 

I read the entire conversation.

 

He add my gf on Facebook.

At the beginning they talk about random things, then this guy started talking about dicks, after that he started talking about he's dick and asking my gf if she masturbate, what are her sizes, what she like to do, etc, etc.

Then this guy started asking about me. What are my penis sizes, how long I last during sex, what I do to her doring sex, etc, etc.

 

They stop texting for like 3 weeks and at new years morning he sent a message to my GF and this guy started asking if she had sex with me on new years and then he ask for naked pictures of my gf.

And here is the big problem I have, actually broke the trust I used to have on my gf, she replied...

 

"I can't, my BF is next to me'

 

So this guy told her...

 

" go to the bathroom and take pictures of your boobs and Dat ass"

 

She keep saying... "I can't"

 

So this guy started asking question about my penis again!!!! And she was answering all the questions!!! Until she replied...

 

"You want me to sent you a pictures of his dick!?"

 

He replied...

 

"OK but u will send me a picture of u naked too, deal?

 

Her answer was... OK, but if I don't get a pictures of he's dick I will not send u a naked picture of me.

 

And here is the rest of the conversation. (I took screen shots)

 

 

Him: But if you show his penis show your Boobs or something else. Even out the view. Who are they then

 

Gf: Well first of all I have to convince him to get his dick out which means fooling around then if I quickly snap a photo he's going to freak so I'll see what I can do lmao

 

Him: Lol you'll have to show your Boobs

 

Gf: My boobs are small. I have an ass hips and thick thighs that make up for it. Idk if you've seen my modeling photos. Not much boobage

 

Him: Nope and it doesn't matter you could showe both

 

Gf: Well that's only if I get the dick pic

 

Him: He can send one if you asked yo see it then show him the nudes too

 

Gf: I'll send him a Facebook message now. I think he's awake lmao

 

Him: Its your Boobs and your ass. We don't have to call it nude just two bare pics

 

Gf: Hellthrash woke up "Send nudes??? ? yea right. Why would you even say that?" I told him I was bored and I wanted some photos. So plan B. Snap a photo.

 

Him: lol

 

Gf: We'll see. I think he's dick shy. When he heard of dudes measuring their dicks he was like in shock and was like wtf why would anybody do that? So now I always jokingly whip out my tape measure and ask him when he's bored if he wants to measure himself and he's like noooo!!!!!

 

Him: Lol take the pictures of yourself

 

Gf: Man I'm comfy I'm not moving right now

 

So that the situation I'm dealing in silence, Idk if this if cheating or what but I know this is one step to become cheating.

They never met in person.

 

I'm very disappointed of her.

 

Thanks you for reading, if u have advice or comments I will bee more that happy to read your thoughts.

 

Kick your Girlfriend out of your life before you end up kicking her ass.

 

It's a no brainer...and it really IS that simple.

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Thanks again to everyone for the help and advice.

 

I'm not dealing with this situation any more, time to move on but I have a little problem with that.

 

I know she's going to turn nuts the minute I break up with her. I don't care about that really, but I want my stuff out of that house (I don't live with her but I stay alot on her house)

 

Two months ago we decided to move together so I bought a couch. We didn't have a place to put the couch in that minute so she told me to get rid of her couch and put the new one there (I know! Big mistake) so we did and I'm still paying that couch, I'm talking about a 2 thousand dollar couch. I'm not leaving her that couch, is not for the money, Its just because she doesn't deserve NOTHING from me.

 

The store where I bought the couch has there own credit so I applied and the contract is on my name, they run my credit. There's no name of her on this contract.

 

Any advice how to take that couch out of there?

She LOVE this couch. I don't think she will allow me to take it that easy.

She can easily call the police and tell them I'm stilling the couch.

 

My sister told me to go with the police but a don't thing the police can do nothing in situation like this no?

 

She doesn't leave the house either. Believe it or not, on this 7 months of relation she been out of that house only when I take her out (she doesn't have a car) and the temperatures over here today are -13 F

 

Any advice?

 

Thank u again for the support.

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I would eat the cost of the couch. You got rid of the old one, and you'd have to replace it anyways. Just consider it payment for a life lesson learned - and remember, if there were children involved, that 2K would be only the first of many, many much larger bills you got out of paying...

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Space Ritual
Thanks again to everyone for the help and advice.

 

I'm not dealing with this situation any more, time to move on but I have a little problem with that.

 

I know she's going to turn nuts the minute I break up with her. I don't care about that really, but I want my stuff out of that house (I don't live with her but I stay alot on her house)

 

Two months ago we decided to move together so I bought a couch. We didn't have a place to put the couch in that minute so she told me to get rid of her couch and put the new one there (I know! Big mistake) so we did and I'm still paying that couch, I'm talking about a 2 thousand dollar couch. I'm not leaving her that couch, is not for the money, Its just because she doesn't deserve NOTHING from me.

 

The store where I bought the couch has there own credit so I applied and the contract is on my name, they run my credit. There's no name of her on this contract.

 

Any advice how to take that couch out of there?

She LOVE this couch. I don't think she will allow me to take it that easy.

She can easily call the police and tell them I'm stilling the couch.

 

My sister told me to go with the police but a don't thing the police can do nothing in situation like this no?

 

She doesn't leave the house either. Believe it or not, on this 7 months of relation she been out of that house only when I take her out (she doesn't have a car) and the temperatures over here today are -13 F

 

Any advice?

 

Thank u again for the support.

If the couch is in your name and you can prove it then she can call the cops all she wants.

 

Probably a good idea to have a Voice Activated Recorder on you when you deal with her. Nothing like a bad breakup to get a DV charge on you...which is why I said before kick her out of your life before you end up ......

 

If you don't want such confrontation, arrange for someone else to get your stuff..I now it sounds odd and a bit avoidant, but believe me, I am the poster boy for this type of thing going south real fast.

 

In your shoes, I'd just leave the couch. Although it's expensive...it won't be nearly as expensive as a lawyer if you get charged with something you have to prove you didn't do. 2 grand you can always make up...it's hard to make amends on a DV charge, even if it's trumped up.

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Superchicken

Just tell her that the couch is being recalled due to bad work/safety issue. You will need to send it back, and of course the guys that come around to help you pick it up, are your friends..

 

 

However, like the poster before me said, it is in your name, and so its yours.

She cant do a thing about it.

 

 

BUT, make sure to video the couch's condition, and also make sure to place a "Current" newspaper on the couch to show that when you left the couch was in perfect condition.

So if it has damage, you can prove she did it.

 

 

But, me, I would leave it.

Let her know that you will leave her the couch, so every time she sees and uses it, she will remember how she "Seen" and "Used" you.

 

 

Believe me, she will think of you every time she sees the couch.

 

 

Ted

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Depending where you live, you can have the sheriff show up with you to claim your couch. Check your local laws with the police (you don't need a lawyer for this) to see what method is legal to repossess the couch.

 

You could even give her a bs story that they are repossessing the couch because you haven't been making payments. And have your buddies take it away.

 

If she gets violent or blocks you and the movers, YOU call the cops, and show them the paper work. They will make sure you can leave with your couch without incident.

 

If you don't want to leave her high and dry, find a couch on craigslist for a hundred buck to replace it.

Edited by smackie9
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