Sugarandspice2 Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 So 5 days ago we had an argument because he was being nastyabout the fact that I had family over from out of the country and he wasn’t ableto go out alone with me for that night. I called him out on being nasty andrude and he didn’t like it so he said some things and ended it with “have agood night”. I responded back but realized that he blocked me. I waited it outand thought he would unblock me for Christmas and he didn’t. We both planned tobuy each other something for Christmas. Fast forward today is his birthday and I am still blocked.In the past he used to block me after arguments and I would reach out fromother numbers to contact him and we would make up..but I realized that loweredmy self worth. We’ve been together for 10 months. I am not doing that anymore. Noteven wishing him happy birthday. What really hurts is that I just had amiscarriage a few weeks ago and he’s treating me like this. I am not surprisedat all at his behavior because I realized he’s very selfish..only cares abouthimself. I feel like I should just go no contact without closure and move on.What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I think you should turn the tables around and forget that no moral scum bag 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 Why in the world would you want to be with a monster like this? Don't tell me he's got good qualities, there are NO good qualities that justify keeping a man like this in your life. Block him for good and move on. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 I am so very sorry about the loss of your child. I think you dodged two bullets. He was no where near mature enough to be a father. He was being ridiculous about your family obligations. If his default is to immediately block & pout you need somebody with better conflict resolution skills. I'm sorry he ruined your Christmas but you may be better off without this immature man-child. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarandspice2 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 Why in the world would you want to be with a monster like this? Don't tell me he's got good qualities, there are NO good qualities that justify keeping a man like this in your life. Block him for good and move on. Sadly I can't stop thinking about the "good times" even though I know there were more bad times. There were so many red flags at the beginning where I should've left but I wanted the happily ever after. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarandspice2 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 I think you should turn the tables around and forget that no moral scum bag I'm going no contact. It hurts because I was JUST pregnant for a child with him and he just forgets about everything and blocks me out his life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 Sadly I can't stop thinking about the "good times" even though I know there were more bad times. There were so many red flags at the beginning where I should've left but I wanted the happily ever after. Use this as experience and wisdom kicking in. People that know best have been in your shoes and have learn from it. We are about to start a new year, start it on a white canvas you can draw a new life on. A life without him and without his abuse. You think of the good times because that's how our brain is wired. While you were with him your brain created new pathways making him part of your every moment thought process. Once he's not there anymore your brain still tries to travel those same pathways but they don't exist anymore = pain. It's only a matter of time before your brain creates new pathways excluding him. Stay strong & Good luck with everything. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 You may still get your happily ever after. It just won't be with him 1 Link to post Share on other sites
samjamx478 Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 There's a meme out there that says "its not real love if you've never been blocked before". I think you should take a a break and let him believe you don't care, that alway's drives them crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 Man child.....run! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
she'stheone Posted December 27, 2017 Share Posted December 27, 2017 Hi Sugarandspice2, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage as well as the trouble with your relationship. We men rarely know how to communicate when it comes to our emotions. This guy seems to have more trouble than most. Let me be clear, this does NOT give him the right to treat you badly nor does it mean you should allow it, you should NOT! It's important to see the other person's point of view so we can understand and be compassionate to them and to ourselves. I agree with most, that he is not good for you and you should move on. Breakups are usually hard and painful, regardless of which side you're on. It's that hole in our lives, the fear of loneliness that keeps us in a relationship we know we should leave. Don't play games and don't try to get him back. Use this time to work on yourself and to grow from the experience. Sending you much love and light 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarandspice2 Posted December 27, 2017 Author Share Posted December 27, 2017 Hi Sugarandspice2, I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage as well as the trouble with your relationship. We men rarely know how to communicate when it comes to our emotions. This guy seems to have more trouble than most. Let me be clear, this does NOT give him the right to treat you badly nor does it mean you should allow it, you should NOT! It's important to see the other person's point of view so we can understand and be compassionate to them and to ourselves. I agree with most, that he is not good for you and you should move on. Breakups are usually hard and painful, regardless of which side you're on. It's that hole in our lives, the fear of loneliness that keeps us in a relationship we know we should leave. Don't play games and don't try to get him back. Use this time to work on yourself and to grow from the experience. Sending you much love and light Yea the game would usually be to reach out to him from other numbers/emails to "show him that I want to be with him". Games get old and I've had enough. Thanks for your response. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Out of curiosity, how old is he? And are there any substance abuse issues with him? I am so sorry for the loss of your child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarandspice2 Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Out of curiosity, how old is he? And are there any substance abuse issues with him? I am so sorry for the loss of your child. Mid twenties and yes he's an alcoholic Link to post Share on other sites
LilySun Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Block... This guy doesn't deserve you for another second. Immature and selfish, this guy. And, he is being emotionally abusive to you. I have been there and it will destroy you, if it hasn't already. Run away and don't look back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 So 5 days ago we had an argument because he was being nastyabout the fact that I had family over from out of the country and he wasn’t ableto go out alone with me for that night. I called him out on being nasty andrude and he didn’t like it so he said some things and ended it with “have agood night”. I responded back but realized that he blocked me. I waited it outand thought he would unblock me for Christmas and he didn’t. We both planned tobuy each other something for Christmas. Fast forward today is his birthday and I am still blocked.In the past he used to block me after arguments and I would reach out fromother numbers to contact him and we would make up..but I realized that loweredmy self worth. We’ve been together for 10 months. I am not doing that anymore. Noteven wishing him happy birthday. What really hurts is that I just had amiscarriage a few weeks ago and he’s treating me like this. I am not surprisedat all at his behavior because I realized he’s very selfish..only cares abouthimself. I feel like I should just go no contact without closure and move on.What do you guys think? That part just shows he can't resolve conflict with you effectively at all. If he's selfish and doesn't care about you, do you really want to spend any more time with this guy? Yea the game would usually be to reach out to him from other numbers/emails to "show him that I want to be with him". Games get old and I've had enough.... You've shown that. He's not returning the favour unfortunately. You may want to be with him, but sadly it doesn't sound like he wants to be with you. Don't put yourself through this any more. Run! Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 He's not a man, he's a boy. Forget about him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 I'm so sorry you've lost your child and had a rotten Christmas. Yes, you should absolutely move on without speaking another word to him. As far as I'm concerned, when a person blocks us or goes AWOL it constitutes them having left the relationship. You don't owe anything to a person who has left already. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarandspice2 Posted December 28, 2017 Author Share Posted December 28, 2017 Block... This guy doesn't deserve you for another second. Immature and selfish, this guy. And, he is being emotionally abusive to you. I have been there and it will destroy you, if it hasn't already. Run away and don't look back. Very emotionally abusive.. what's hurting so bad is the fact that there is no closure. I just want to get over this pain and move on. His sister contacted me yesterday and I feel like all my emotions just reset. Before that I was getting used to not talking to him and thinking to myself that this breakup is a blessing in disguise. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 Very emotionally abusive.. what's hurting so bad is the fact that there is no closure. I just want to get over this pain and move on. His sister contacted me yesterday and I feel like all my emotions just reset. Before that I was getting used to not talking to him and thinking to myself that this breakup is a blessing in disguise. Sweetie it's normal it hurts and it will for a while. Getting over a break up takes times you have to accept it and go through every step of mourning. Closure is something you offer yourself, do not wait on a man to give you closure you'll wait forever. The way he mistreated you is enough closure for you to end this chapter with him. Be kind to yourself, spend time with the people that loves you the most in this life while you lick your wound. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted December 28, 2017 Share Posted December 28, 2017 [...] Fast forward today is his birthday and I am still blocked.In the past he used to block me after arguments and I would reach out fromother numbers to contact him and we would make up..but I realized that loweredmy self worth. We’ve been together for 10 months. I am not doing that anymore. Noteven wishing him happy birthday. What really hurts is that I just had amiscarriage a few weeks ago and he’s treating me like this. I am not surprisedat all at his behavior because I realized he’s very selfish..only cares abouthimself. I feel like I should just go no contact without closure and move on.What do you guys think? This is not healthy. I am sorry for your loss 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Baking4u Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 I can only imagine. I hope you heal emotionally from your loss. It's good you are seeing your boyfriend/ex for who he is. Living your life without him seems best. Link to post Share on other sites
LilySun Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Very emotionally abusive.. what's hurting so bad is the fact that there is no closure. I just want to get over this pain and move on. His sister contacted me yesterday and I feel like all my emotions just reset. Before that I was getting used to not talking to him and thinking to myself that this breakup is a blessing in disguise. You might never get closure and as time goes on you start caring less and less about that. Keep thinking it's a blessing, because it is. It's a slow thing but you get stronger and more glad it's over in time. I thought I'd never be happy after my abusive relationship... I was very wrong. Glad I'm not still stuck there. I did take advantage of therapy, even, it helped alot. That is an option you may want to keep in mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 If a woman blocked me after an argument i'd be done with her. that is not how adults act. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Closure is over-rated. Living a life that is free from an alcoholic, emotionally abusive partner is definitely not over-rated. Good for you for leaving this man behind. Life has better things planned for your future. I am sorry for the loss of your baby. Although, I would not want to be co-parenting with this man, so perhaps there was a "bigger plan" for you... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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