The Humble-Brag

[Starswillshine]

My friend likes to call Facebook, Fakebook. I think the name is fitting. People like to put on this fake image of themselves online but most of it is BS or is balanced out by other things. For example; that really smart kid that does so well in school? The little brat treats his parents like crap. The really happy couple always posting loving memes and stuff? She is banging another guy.

 

I hear this one all the time, too. And again I have to wonder, what does it really matter and why do people truly care about it so much? So maybe the kid is a little sh*t... at least he has one thing right.

 

I have heard even my friend say something to me when I posted a photo of my husband and myself at a dinner. Asked me why would I post a picture of us together when our marriage is in turmoil. I asked her if we were both indeed at that event? Yes. Did we have fun? Yes. Did we smile? Yes. Was that moment happy? Yes. Thus... it wasn't fake. What would have been fake is if one of us were photoshopped into the picture.

 

Your example of the wife quoting loving memes about her husband while cheating, that is pretty sad. But quite possible if her husband is posting the memes, he isn't aware, and he loves her... Thus not fake.

 

I feel people have to put down other happiness as a way to make them feel better about themselves.

 

We all have problems. I much rather see everyone being happy and sharing their positive times than focusing on the negatives.

 

I think it would be important to look into yourself to figure out why it bothers you so much.

[basil67]

My friend likes to call Facebook, Fakebook. I think the name is fitting. People like to put on this fake image of themselves online but most of it is BS or is balanced out by other things. For example; that really smart kid that does so well in school? The little brat treats his parents like crap. The really happy couple always posting loving memes and stuff? She is banging another guy.

 

You could equally apply this to real life settings. If you gather together with friends for a fun night, most of those friends will still filter what they say in discussions.

 

Most of us only discuss the bad stuff with their inner circle of closest friends.

[RecentChange]

I haven't read every post on this thread.... But the types of things people share - is it really that new? Is it really just social media?

 

Looking through letters and pictures my grandma saved, it seems like a lot of the same stuff. Perhaps my mom would write about the grand meal she cooked. She would talk about how all the kids are doing in school. She would share when we got a new car, complete with a picture of the family in front of it.

 

Picture we're taken during vacations and duplicates made to share with family members.

 

Even older letters... From when my grandma (born 1915) was young between her aunt's etc - again, full of "humble brags" which are really just sharing the news and joys of our lives.

 

I humble brag online. I take pictures of the beautiful places I ride, and mention how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful corner of the world. I share pictures of my husband and I out having fun. I share pictures of a meal I am especially proud of preparing.

 

If there are haters.... Let them hate I guess, because I am still going to share with my friends and family, and those are the people who make up the majority of my FB friends.

[wmacbride]

Actually I get generally angry at all the selfishness, and feel guilty over my own, at times. It shouldn't just be me it should be all of us doing more to help each other.

 

It's hard not to look at people with the blinders off and not completely despise the human race.

 

Plus everyone knows what "the true meaning of Christmas is" ... I'm not saying I'm the only one who has it figured out. it's just that most people choose to ignore it.

 

 

It must be wonderful to have that crystal ball that allows you to see into everyone elses life.

 

How do you know that the person who says they are having a wonderful holiday with their family isn't also volunteering each week at a local food bank, donating a large sum to a animal rescue group, spending time volunteering to help kids in their community?

 

It could be that their happy post cheers someone up who reads it. It could be they share when they help others to encourage their friends to do the same.

 

there are also many people who prefer to do the good work they do without broadcasting it to the world.

 

Social media really is what you make it. If you feel it's full of fakery, then stay off of it.

 

Problem solved.

[Starswillshine]

It becomes fake when only one side of things is on display. Memes and loving quotes every day about a spouse you are cheating on creates an illusion of a loving, happy marriage when it is anything but. It creates an illusion that she is a loving wife when she is anything but. Fake and faker.

 

 

 

I think it would be important to look into yourself to figure out why you were so quick to patronize me here. I never once said anything about this bothering me at all. I don't care about the fake stuff fake people post online. They are unlikely unhappy about the realities of their life and posting their fake reality is a temporary cure for their sadness. I ignore 99% of what gets posted on FB anyway.

 

I absolutely agree with you if the cheating wife is also the one posting loving memes about her husband to put up a facade of being a loving wife while she is in an affair. It would not be fake if the husband were to do it.

[Timshel]

Some years ago, my brother went on a rant on FB, a really awful one, about my mom...on mother's day. If it was remotely called for, I'd say so.

The day after, I deactivated my account. That was years ago.

 

After my brother died, my sister went on a tirade on FB, again, not ok.

 

I'm glad I didn't have any part of that pandering.

 

I'm sure there are some over the top life.is.beautiful posts...why not respond by saying congratulations and be done with it?

 

If you are correct Fair, and all they want is some validation, is this so difficult?

 

Isn't that what you want as well?

 

The saying goes that we despise most in others that we do in ourselves.

 

If it bothers you, don't read it. It's still about you.

[JuneL]

The world is selfish!! I don't see how this isn't apparent to everyone. All you have to do is GLANCE at FB to see it... but it's all around.

 

Go help out in a soup kitchen for the holidays and give out blankets to the homeless... in fact, I'm doing that next year. That's what Christmas is really supposed to be about.. not stuffing our fat faces and taking more than what we need from others when we've already got so much.

 

Especially at Christmas the selfishness really shines. I swear, it makes my blood boil.

 

Now you lost me on this one. I can't count the number of times I helped out in a soup kitchen on a major holiday (Thanksgiving or X'mas). Seriously, what's the big deal?

[anika99]

To be fair, I'm on an anonymous forum. I could only be a killjoy if I was actually saying these things to the people I know on FB. I don't say anything. I post nothing but jokes for the most part.

 

It doesn't have to be one extreme or the other when it comes to what they post... all bragging or nothing... But people are on social media platforms are all trying to "outdo the jones's".... see who can scream the loudest about how great their lives are. You can post all kinds of things it doesn't always have to be THAT but that's mostly all it is. And mine, as opposed to yours, is a very small friends list. But it's a constant stream every day. I just wish there could be ONE thing at least, that people don't somehow manage to ruin.

 

Perhaps to you it's just a silly rant. Perhaps it is... but need to get it off my chest anyway.

 

You have been heard and your feelings are as valid as everyone else's feelings.

 

I personally don't have a problem with braggers on Facebook. I like seeing pictures of kids and vacations and hearing the brags so it doesn't bother me but you shouldn't be shamed or reprimanded because it bothers you. Posting a rant about it on a rant board seems perfectly acceptable to me.

[anika99]

I haven't read every post on this thread.... But the types of things people share - is it really that new? Is it really just social media?

 

Looking through letters and pictures my grandma saved, it seems like a lot of the same stuff. Perhaps my mom would write about the grand meal she cooked. She would talk about how all the kids are doing in school. She would share when we got a new car, complete with a picture of the family in front of it.

 

Picture we're taken during vacations and duplicates made to share with family members.

 

Even older letters... From when my grandma (born 1915) was young between her aunt's etc - again, full of "humble brags" which are really just sharing the news and joys of our lives.

 

I humble brag online. I take pictures of the beautiful places I ride, and mention how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful corner of the world. I share pictures of my husband and I out having fun. I share pictures of a meal I am especially proud of preparing.

 

If there are haters.... Let them hate I guess, because I am still going to share with my friends and family, and those are the people who make up the majority of my FB friends.

 

Oh it was even worse in the days before social media. Someone would go on vacation and when they got back they would invite you over for a visit. Shortly into the visit they would suddenly whip out 500 photos of their vacation and proceed to show and explain each and every photo...lol. You would have sit politely and feign interest in looking at 50 pictures of the same freaking sunset! At least with social media you have a choice to view someone's pictures or not. You can study some but skip others or you can scroll through quickly or not look at all. Yay social media!

[RecentChange]

Oh it was even worse in the days before social media. Someone would go on vacation and when they got back they would invite you over for a visit. Shortly into the visit they would suddenly whip out 500 photos of their vacation and proceed to show and explain each and every photo...lol. You would have sit politely and feign interest in looking at 50 pictures of the same freaking sunset! !

 

YES! I remember neighbors of ours would invite us over for slide shows (on a projector) of their vacation photos!

 

Seriously, social media didn't invent this.

 

And personally, while I might share something considered a "humble brag" I purposely DO NOT share when I do "good deeds" etc.

 

I don't post "hey everyone, just picked up some lunches for the homeless like I do on Fridays" - because I don't want to appear like I am doing those things for attention. Those are my private little things that I do to feel better about myself, not to get a pat on the back.

 

So maybe people think "recentchange is always posting pictures of food, doesn't she know that some do not have enough to eat!" - but they don't know about my involvement in getting food to the homeless, unless it's when my husband and I are organizing something larger and looking for volunteers.

[wmacbride]

Oh it was even worse in the days before social media. Someone would go on vacation and when they got back they would invite you over for a visit. Shortly into the visit they would suddenly whip out 500 photos of their vacation and proceed to show and explain each and every photo...lol. You would have sit politely and feign interest in looking at 50 pictures of the same freaking sunset! At least with social media you have a choice to view someone's pictures or not. You can study some but skip others or you can scroll through quickly or not look at all. Yay social media!

 

It could be worse...how about the slides? Carousels and carousels of slides.

[wmacbride]

YES! I remember neighbors of ours would invite us over for slide shows (on a projector) of their vacation photos!

 

Seriously, social media didn't invent this.

 

And personally, while I might share something considered a "humble brag" I purposely DO NOT share when I do "good deeds" etc.

 

I don't post "hey everyone, just picked up some lunches for the homeless like I do on Fridays" - because I don't want to appear like I am doing those things for attention. Those are my private little things that I do to feel better about myself, not to get a pat on the back.

 

So maybe people think "recentchange is always posting pictures of food, doesn't she know that some do not have enough to eat!" - but they don't know about my involvement in getting food to the homeless, unless it's when my husband and I are organizing something larger and looking for volunteers.

 

This is so true.

Many people do a lot of good work but don't really talk about it. A friend of mine loves to post photos of her meals. I don't know why. If one was to judge her base don that alone, they could be forgiven for thinking she's a flake. they don't know about the hundreds of hours she has put in to help others, especially other military families who are going through hard times. They don't know how many calls she has made to spouses who are at home while their husband or wife is deployed, how she volunteered to organize a national conference for MFRC's, how she's organized food drives, toy drives, helped out at her children's schools, etc., etc., etc.

[Cookiesandough]

It's all about perspective. It's the hedonic treadmill. Just because I may want it or I think it's great, that means the other person can't complain about it or they're lowkey arrogant? To assume everyone lives by my standards. I think that's a pretty entitled attitude. Remember, jealous folk/shade throwers, there is someone out there who thinks your life issues are petty too. Don't you worry.