Can a man be interested with no signs of attraction

[aspentree1]

And really after I asked his about his schdule he had a chance right there to set a coffee date or ask when I would be in the area. I wanted to add to my post that the reason I contacted him was in case he's not sure of my interest. I feel like I'm being breadcrumbed lol or breadcrumbing me.

[Arieswoman]

aspentree1,

I think you're on a hiding to nothing here. This guy wants you to do all the heavy lifting and scores a zero for "spark".

 

I think you should move on and find someone who actually wants to date you, and tries to make that happen.

 

And yes, I think you're being breadcrumbed, and I also think he's being manipulative.

 

Sorry x

[aspentree1]

Arieswoman:

 

I agree! It's turned me off now. I've re-read this thread a few times and it's pretty clear this situation with this guy is going nowhere. One good thing though is it's a learning experience for any future dating/courting experiences.

[Iseult]

And really after I asked his about his schdule he had a chance right there to set a coffee date or ask when I would be in the area. I wanted to add to my post that the reason I contacted him was in case he's not sure of my interest. I feel like I'm being breadcrumbed lol or breadcrumbing me.

What you described is not breadcrumbing. If anything, you are persistent, and that could be taken a couple of ways depending on the person's view. And I'm betting my view of your persistence is going to be different from yours.

[bachdude]

In no way are you a victim either of breadcrumming or manipulation.

 

He either only sees you as a friend or isn’t willing to take a chance.

 

Either way, it’s time to move on.

[aspentree1]

It's been 3 weeks since I texted him and him responding somewhat. Why is it always 3 weeks? lol Anyway this afternoon a text came in from him. Totally caught me off guard as I wasn't expecting that.

 

It said the usual stuff like how are you etc. and that 'he was looking forward to that coffee soon so we can catch up on things, so when are you available?' He said he was looking forward to seeing me, and anywhere I want to meet is fine.

 

 

What do I do? I'm really, really struggling with this. I know deep down that this has been odd all along and not done the 'proper' way, and in good time. I have read so many posts on dating, courting and I now know to hold myself at a high value and that's what I'm struggling with.

 

Struggling with the fact that I probably shouldn't go because he didn't follow the proper dating protocols. But then again it's just coffee and we don't know his intentions..although what acqaintance would bother at this point in contacting for a coffee.

 

So it's more of a so called catching up/getting to know thing each other thing. So does he have to follow the rules of dating for this type of situation? I know I have read if a man was interested they wouldn't waste time in contacting and setting a meeting up.

 

I almost feel like I'm being desperate or something by wanting to go just to see, and I find myself making excuses like maybe he was just too scared to ask me out and finally got the courage. Or maybe got the hint when I didn't contact him again after my last text 3 weeks ago, so he had to man up and text? Honestly I'm freaked out lol

 

Should I just go and get it out of my system? Because now it's back in my mind obsessing. I was doing good too not thinking about it anymore

[bachdude]

It's been 3 weeks since I texted him and him responding somewhat. Why is it always 3 weeks? lol Anyway this afternoon a text came in from him. Totally caught me off guard as I wasn't expecting that.

 

It said the usual stuff like how are you etc. and that 'he was looking forward to that coffee soon so we can catch up on things, so when are you available?' He said he was looking forward to seeing me, and anywhere I want to meet is fine.

 

 

What do I do? I'm really, really struggling with this. I know deep down that this has been odd all along and not done the 'proper' way, and in good time. I have read so many posts on dating, courting and I now know to hold myself at a high value and that's what I'm struggling with.

 

Struggling with the fact that I probably shouldn't go because he didn't follow the proper dating protocols. But then again it's just coffee and we don't know his intentions..although what acqaintance would bother at this point in contacting for a coffee.

 

So it's more of a so called catching up/getting to know thing each other thing. So does he have to follow the rules of dating for this type of situation? I know I have read if a man was interested they wouldn't waste time in contacting and setting a meeting up.

 

I almost feel like I'm being desperate or something by wanting to go just to see, and I find myself making excuses like maybe he was just too scared to ask me out and finally got the courage. Or maybe got the hint when I didn't contact him again after my last text 3 weeks ago, so he had to man up and text? Honestly I'm freaked out lol

 

Should I just go and get it out of my system? Because now it's back in my mind obsessing. I was doing good too not thinking about it anymore

 

Seeing you were in the middle of figuring out a time to meet 3 weeks ago and he’s just getting back with you now, I would say he sees it as a friends meeting.

 

It’s hard for me to fathom anyone taking 3 weeks to follow up on a meeting time who has high romantic interest.

[aspentree1]

Thanks for the reply bachdude..

 

We didn't try to set up a time 3 weeks ago. He just basically said 'someday we could meet for a coffee''. I replied and then he never sent anything back so I gave up on him. I get what you're saying though it sounds like a more casual friend thing.

 

I thought men don't bother with coffee meets unless they are interested or you are already friends. I don't even know this guys last name or his background. lol Heck I don't even know how old he is.