kiss_andmakeup Posted December 21, 2017 Share Posted December 21, 2017 Been there, done that. I'm not interested in being taken for granted and I never intend to make my spouse feel that way. I was in a long-term relationship with someone like your SO before I met my husband, and it was one of many reasons that I ended it. Some people are not natural gift-givers/celebrators/whatever. That's okay. What's not okay is being told by your SO how much it means to him/her, and then continuing to put forth no effort. You have been with this man for so long, I highly doubt he'll change now. Your staying with him has shown him that his behavior is acceptable to you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ana-Iva Posted December 24, 2017 Share Posted December 24, 2017 What would bother me about this man (a lot!) is that you have communicated to him what it means to you, you cried, you were and are miserable because he cannot buy a simple card and say "happy birthday" and he is still doing it time after time after time!!! Horrible. It wouldn't cost him much, would it? And it would mean much to you and your relationship. He just doesn't really care about how you feel. He should. You are together and you are a mother of his child. He supposed to protect your feelings, and this is so easy to fix. Sounds like something a covert narcissist or a sociopath would do. They can generally pretend to be nice and affectionate, but like to play and hurt your feelings. Be very careful, and if you are that miserable, do what you feel like doing even if it is leaving him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gelite3 Posted January 2, 2018 Share Posted January 2, 2018 This situation is very complicated. I hope that you were able to enjoy your holiday. I have also heard of the book called the Five Love Languages. Perhaps, you both can read it together and explore the reasons that he does not acknowledge or give gifts. I can't imagine that he is really giving and kind in other ways. I have a friend who would call people on their birthday, but would never just say Happy Birthday. When I asked why she did that, she said that she wanted to be different. Now, when it is her birthday, I take the same position, and simply don't acknowledge her birthday. I took her out of the position of good friend and reclassified her as a casual friend. She had a 50th birthday party and fortunately I was in Italy at the time. I sent her a card acknowledging the occasion and left it at that. Perhaps, you should just meet your SO where he is and down play his birthday and special occasions. Link to post Share on other sites
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