Aiuta le mani Posted December 15, 2017 Share Posted December 15, 2017 Hey, I am sorry to hear that you have to go through this! I see that you want to give your relationship another shot. You have decided to love and that is brave! I also see that you have been thinking about this thoroughly and looking at everything that angle of you and your behavior as well as your GF. In a situation like this, it is very important to think things carefully, as you are doing, and set the proper responsibilities and consequences for both people in the relationship. Have you had the chance to discuss this with someone you can trust? A friend or a counselor could help you gain some additional perspective and work a plan of action to correct those things that you are responsible for and see more objectively what the other person needs to do! If you want to continue investing in this relationship, it is important to know where the other person stands in their commitment. Maybe a counselor or therapist can help you both figure that out! Link to post Share on other sites
Been Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 How did it go from he kept hitting on her relentlessly and she finally gave in to sex because she was vulnerable at the time to NOW she has a crush on him??? She wouldn't have had sex with him if their was no attraction at some level. The trust is now shattered and it can't fully be restored. Right now you don't think that but trust me you will have times when you will doubt her and it will damage the relationship. You are basically telling her its OK to cheat. And it shouldn't be. What was the consequences of her cheating on you? NOTHING. And the next time your relationship runs into a rough patch what will she do? Link to post Share on other sites
Author baro Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 (edited) Update* she has moved out to her parents house and talked with him we are together but when she was there she missed me now i sense she feels sad about what happened (I can relate somewhat because I have also had a crush in the past but never went through, it took time for it to come back) I told her if she doesn't want to then she didn't need to but told me she chose me do i keep working on this and build it back up again? Edited December 16, 2017 by baro Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 Quit being a fool for punishment. You can't fix anything. She'd have to go that but you've shown her how she can treat you. You'd be much better of fixing yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author baro Posted December 16, 2017 Author Share Posted December 16, 2017 (edited) Quit being a fool for punishment. You can't fix anything. She'd have to go that but you've shown her how she can treat you. You'd be much better of fixing yourself I am working on myself... She has shown signs by moving out and telling him that she wants to be with me and has spent time with me. She feels really guilty about what happened and what she did to me. That guilt is what seems to be eating her up and there is nothing I can do about that. What is the correct action to take? stating facts for what I have seen Before she told me this whole situation, we were talking about our relationship and one thing she pointed out was "she wanted me to make her fall in love with me again" so we started on some adventures together and she missed me but after she moved she was sad Edited December 16, 2017 by baro Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted December 16, 2017 Share Posted December 16, 2017 I am working on myself... She has shown signs by moving out and telling him that she wants to be with me and has spent time with me. She feels really guilty about what happened and what she did to me. That guilt is what seems to be eating her up and there is nothing I can do about that. What is the correct action to take? stating facts for what I have seen Before she told me this whole situation, we were talking about our relationship and one thing she pointed out was "she wanted me to make her fall in love with me again" so we started on some adventures together and she missed me but after she moved she was sad What will it take for you to wake up... She was sleeping with him because she wanted to. He was better than you are, and she did not love you anyway. You are being delusional. She wants you to make her fall in love again??? How about she makes you love her, oh you are so foolish you still love her. OK then, what about she helps you heal from the pain she has caused you. What about she helps you to trust her again, how about she proves herself to you... OH, none of that matters because she loves you so much she was banging her room mate while dating you. Please kick her to the curb and find a new GF. And why after 8 years are you guys not living together at the very least if not married? Who dates for 8 years??? I'll bet she has a host of BF's that she bangs when your not around. Please grow up and find a new woman. Staying with her will lead to nothing but pain for you... Link to post Share on other sites
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