The ultimate catfish?

[Cam1]

Keep us posted!

 

The conclusion of the story: He NEVER responded to those texts. Nothing. Asking him what a new local burger place was--he could have just googled it, and not given up on his catfish game so easily. But instead radio silence.

 

Obviously there are people who travel for work--I run into those all the time on tinder. But most are forthcoming about it, and they have no reason to hide it and pretend to be somewhere they're not.

 

The scary parts are it's just another reminder of how sick men often are, for no reason, and it shows that someone can pretend to have great personality chemistry with me and be all about me, and in reality just be lying the entire time. Makes me very distrusting.

 

I sent one last text yesterday: "so you are a catfish after all?" Good opportunity to come clean and say he'd been traveling or something. Nothing.

 

This morning deleted his phone number, and reported him to tinder.

 

Edit for weirdness factory: I clicked on his recent profile pic, which the same month he claimed to have moved here. Two of the "likes" are people who have mutual friends with me (and live in our small town). So I have no idea what the heck is going on there. If he lives here, he got weird for no reason. If he doesn't live here, he was weird for no reason too.

Edited November 29, 2017 by Cam1

[Better]

Sorry, Cam1. It sounds like you were definitely on the mark on this guy. I wasn't giving you a hard time at all. You had a ton of evidence that he wasn't who he said he was.

[some_username1]

The conclusion of the story: He NEVER responded to those texts. Nothing. Asking him what a new local burger place was--he could have just googled it, and not given up on his catfish game so easily. But instead radio silence.

 

Obviously there are people who travel for work--I run into those all the time on tinder. But most are forthcoming about it, and they have no reason to hide it and pretend to be somewhere they're not.

 

The scary parts are it's just another reminder of how sick men often are, for no reason, and it shows that someone can pretend to have great personality chemistry with me and be all about me, and in reality just be lying the entire time. Makes me very distrusting.

 

I sent one last text yesterday: "so you are a catfish after all?" Good opportunity to come clean and say he'd been traveling or something. Nothing.

 

This morning deleted his phone number, and reported him to tinder.

 

Edit for weirdness factory: I clicked on his recent profile pic, which the same month he claimed to have moved here. Two of the "likes" are people who have mutual friends with me (and live in our small town). So I have no idea what the heck is going on there. If he lives here, he got weird for no reason. If he doesn't live here, he was weird for no reason too.

 

By reporting him you seem to be assuming that Tinder actually care. They don't. in fact they actively encourage this behaviour in return for $$$- otherwise why have a premium feature to allow people to change their location in the first place?

 

You complain about the player being 'sick' when it is the game that is giving him the tools to behave in a way you so dislike. As I said before, you should be thinking long and hard about the tools you use to find men to date- by being on the platform in the first place you give Tinder all the validation they need that they are getting online dating right. Either don't use it or learn to accept without complaint that you are going to run into situations like this occasionally.

[Cam1]

As I said before, you should be thinking long and hard about the tools you use to find men to date- by being on the platform in the first place you give Tinder all the validation they need that they are getting online dating right. Either don't use it or learn to accept without complaint that you are going to run into situations like this occasionally.

 

Here's the thing: I live in a small town, with a very limited post grad population between the ages of 24 and 35 or so. Career prospects are small here and cost of living is very high, so it's an awesome place to vacation but in most instances not a great place to start a career or life. I'm 2 hours from any major city.

 

So you tell me what tools I should be using to meet men. I don't meet them at work. I no longer am in classes like I once was in college. My grad school friends have friends who I'm beyond not interested in, or who are married. And so far I haven't met them through the clubs and hobbies I already have (which is okay with me, because i'm there to enjoy myself and not entertain someone). Bars aren't really fun like they once were, and in this town they're generally full of college students anyways. So unfortunately, tinder is still a thing in my life.

[some_username1]

Here's the thing: I live in a small town, with a very limited post grad population between the ages of 24 and 35 or so. Career prospects are small here and cost of living is very high, so it's an awesome place to vacation but in most instances not a great place to start a career or life. I'm 2 hours from any major city.

 

So you tell me what tools I should be using to meet men. I don't meet them at work. I no longer am in classes like I once was in college. My grad school friends have friends who I'm beyond not interested in, or who are married. And so far I haven't met them through the clubs and hobbies I already have (which is okay with me, because i'm there to enjoy myself and not entertain someone). Bars aren't really fun like they once were, and in this town they're generally full of college students anyways. So unfortunately, tinder is still a thing in my life.

 

Well you should definitely be using actual dating sites more than Tinder, at least if you aren't just looking for hookups. Tinder does give access to more people than any other platform or way of meeting people in real life but that comes at a price as connections on Tinder are so much more frequent they are far more disposable and people struggle with the paradox of choice so poor behaviour will always be a factor on there.

 

I hear people complain about Tinder all the time but people still continue to use it. It's a shame because if people abandoned it we might see some more innovation in online dating for the better. As it is, they still make money providing what is for all but the players an unappealing way of meeting people but because it is still so popular it seems to be the sole way that people choose to date these days. I can't even begin to imagine how people used to get their dates prior to online dating and Tinder. The idea of talking to people without the aid of a computer seems like a concept worthy of a William Gibson novel.