Husband had affair with my son's girlfriend.

[Mysterio]

If you tell. All four of you will never be the same. If you live in the same city. I would do it in a controlled counselling environment. If they are out of town then I don't know. Why bother, but I would not have any major time with them.

 

What do you think your son will do. Do you think he would want you to tell or leave it be.

 

Here is a test for your son. I would talk to your future daughter in law and say. I won't lie to my son. You have a deadline to tell him or I will. That dead line is mid Jan 2018.

[S2B]

If you tell. All four of you will never be the same. If you live in the same city. I would do it in a controlled counselling environment. If they are out of town then I don't know. Why bother, but I would not have any major time with them.

 

What do you think your son will do. Do you think he would want you to tell or leave it be.

 

Here is a test for your son. I would talk to your future daughter in law and say. I won't lie to my son. You have a deadline to tell him or I will. That dead line is mid Jan 2018.

 

Why should she wait two more months on a deadline that should have revealed the truth 2 months ago?

 

No more waiting. Your son will feel even more betrayal the longer he knows you knew without telling him.

 

No leaving it up to others - tell him today! He has a right to know his fiancé screwed his step dad and that his stepdad betrayed him.

 

But do something instead of nothing!

[merrmeade]

If you tell. All four of you will never be the same. If you live in the same city. I would do it in a controlled counselling environment. If they are out of town then I don't know. Why bother, but I would not have any major time with them.

 

What do you think your son will do. Do you think he would want you to tell or leave it be.

 

Here is a test for your son. I would talk to your future daughter in law and say. I won't lie to my son. You have a deadline to tell him or I will. That dead line is mid Jan 2018.

This is very important and the suggested solution, absolutely appropriate.

 

Watch the movie "Damage" with Jeremy Irons. He has an affair with his son's fiancee. The son walks in on them, and a tragic, tragic ending follows. On second thought, don't watch it. Just use your imagination and imagine the potential pain your son will feel.

 

And thinking you must protect him from it is patently ABSURD. You cannot change the truth of reality. THIS HAPPENED. And he has every right to know since he his assumption that his fiancee is trustworthy faithful is false. When (not if) he finds out, he will never forgive you.

 

Get your priorities straight, woman. What kind of mother are you?

[Darren Steez]

Oh come on...

[Tomasina]

It's always easy for us all to respond when not actually in the situation. Infidelity is trait I personally cannot abide, and yet others can work through it. I always ask myself....will I ever forgive and/or forget? My personal answer is no to both.....I wouldn't want to live in doubt the rest of my life..it would eat away at me daily which is not healthy.

Your story is quite complicated, and as a few other responses have suggested....look at the rollerball effect it will have in ALL your lives forever. I believe your son should know, but you should not be the one to tell him. The girlfriend and your husband should. None of this is your or your sons fault, but you will be the ones left most heartbroken, so you will need each other.

You both will know what each can either live with, or not. I do not envy the choices you have ahead of you, but all I can offer is a sounding board. This was my reason for joining this site....my issues are nothing in comparison...but it is a small comfort to know I can anonymously get stuff off my chest and out of my head.

Take care of yourself, first and foremost ?

[HiCrunchy]

This legit sounds like something you’d hear on maury.

All that’s missing is the gf getting a paternity test for the husband’s baby.

 

Yikes!

[road]

If you tell. All four of you will never be the same. If you live in the same city. I would do it in a controlled counselling environment. If they are out of town then I don't know. Why bother, but I would not have any major time with them.

 

What do you think your son will do. Do you think he would want you to tell or leave it be.

 

Here is a test for your son. I would talk to your future daughter in law and say. I won't lie to my son. You have a deadline to tell him or I will. That dead line is mid Jan 2018.

 

Where is the unlike button?

 

 

This needs to be done today for too much time has been

already allowed to pass.

 

This also needs to be done by the mom. She needs to atone

for sitting on this damaging information for way to long.