Lattes4Days Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 So tonight I found out my boyfriend of 3-4 months has been cheating on me. He cheated on me this weekend with an Asian chick who he was constantly liking photos of on instagram and she was constantly liking his photos and commenting on them. I found out this weekend they slept together. I found out because for some reason on his newest photo he had disabled the comments. I thought huh, that's odd. So on a hunch, I went to his profile and something told me to click on her profile... Low and behold, her newest instagram picture is of her wearing my boyfriend's very specific military grade hiking backpack with a water hose attached to it, which I could spot anywhere because I use it all the time when we go on hikes. I confronted him about it and he didn't deny it was his backpack. I asked him if he was seeing her and he denied it. So I said "Ok, then I guess you wouldn't mind that I messaged her asking her if she's seeing you because I'm your girlfriend." (Which I didn't yet, but was going to) that's when he freaked out and started saying how badly he messed up, how he was sorry but "glad and relieved" that I found out, that it had been "eating him alive" and how he could have dated both of us but was emotionally torn. I am heartbroken. I've given this guy my ALL for numerous weeks. Every time I saw him, I stayed at his house for 5+ days. I Don't understand! He then texts me and says he told her everything. How he's not going to see anyone before his deployment because he doesn't want to be heartbroken if I cheat on him (are you kidding me?) and I noticed he blocked me on instagram and told me he was going to block my phone number too. I went onto her instagram and oddly enough, she deleted her instagram? I also noticed his "Following count" on instagram went from 145 to 126 in the last hour since we broke up. That means he stopped following 20 other women. How nice. I Really need some words of comfort or encouragement. I was falling in love with him and it is so disheartening to know he was sleeping with someone else just this past weekend! Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 What a douche. Now you need to block him in every way possible. Disappear from his life. And stop cyber stalking him. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
newyorker11356 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 It's amazing to me how some people don't realize how good they have it. I'd almost kill for a woman to give me everything the way you did with him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Guys with Asian fetishes, tend to seek out Asian women, so no huge surprise surely? Why you stuck in there after finding that out is beyond me... Not to mention how lack lustre he was about you too. Loving someone who does not love you back in the same way and does not prioritise you, is a fruitless exercise... Do not do it again. Walk away. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 It's amazing to me how some people don't realize how good they have it. I'd almost kill for a woman to give me everything the way you did with him. They do it because they know they can. This guy pushed the OPs boundaries far, his Instagram women and female friends, his Asian fetish, his wishy washy attitude, his non-commital stance, his hinting at farming her out to another man, and she just kept bouncing back because she loves him. BUT all that did was to lower her "value" in his eyes, he then felt entitled to cheat on her, as he knew she would probably just put up with that too... Doormat. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Do NOT, I repeat do NOT, take this opportunity to go back to your guy from three years ago, please!? Anyone with a three month old baby who is getting divorced (if indeed he is) shows zero power to commit and work when the going gets tough. It will be tempting, but don't go there. Be glad this guy showed you who he is now, and not six months down the road. Take care of yourself, and no one else. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 that's when he freaked out and started saying how badly he messed up, how he was sorry but "glad and relieved" that I found out, that it had been "eating him alive" and how he could have dated both of us but was emotionally torn. What a load of BS. If it had truly been "eating him alive" he would have confessed and wouldn't have lied when you first asked him about the backpack. Have some self respect and leave this turd in your wake. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 (edited) Next... But, not your ex boyfriend with the baby... I'm sure it's tempting, but it won't end well for you either. I would suggest that you spend some time single and think about your picker... because, it's clearly a little off. Edited November 21, 2017 by BaileyB 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 So tonight I found out my boyfriend of 3-4 months has been cheating on me. He cheated on me this weekend with an Asian chick who he was constantly liking photos of on instagram and she was constantly liking his photos and commenting on them. I found out this weekend they slept together. I found out because for some reason on his newest photo he had disabled the comments. I thought huh, that's odd. So on a hunch, I went to his profile and something told me to click on her profile... Low and behold, her newest instagram picture is of her wearing my boyfriend's very specific military grade hiking backpack with a water hose attached to it, which I could spot anywhere because I use it all the time when we go on hikes. I confronted him about it and he didn't deny it was his backpack. I asked him if he was seeing her and he denied it. So I said "Ok, then I guess you wouldn't mind that I messaged her asking her if she's seeing you because I'm your girlfriend." (Which I didn't yet, but was going to) that's when he freaked out and started saying how badly he messed up, how he was sorry but "glad and relieved" that I found out, that it had been "eating him alive" and how he could have dated both of us but was emotionally torn. I am heartbroken. I've given this guy my ALL for numerous weeks. Every time I saw him, I stayed at his house for 5+ days. I Don't understand! He then texts me and says he told her everything. How he's not going to see anyone before his deployment because he doesn't want to be heartbroken if I cheat on him (are you kidding me?) and I noticed he blocked me on instagram and told me he was going to block my phone number too. I went onto her instagram and oddly enough, she deleted her instagram? I also noticed his "Following count" on instagram went from 145 to 126 in the last hour since we broke up. That means he stopped following 20 other women. How nice. I Really need some words of comfort or encouragement. I was falling in love with him and it is so disheartening to know he was sleeping with someone else just this past weekend! The encouragement is that you discovered this before you became fully emotionally committed. He's a player and liar. You haven't lost anyone of worth for you. Mend from this and move on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 that's when he freaked out and started saying how badly he messed up, how he was sorry but "glad and relieved" that I found out, that it had been "eating him alive" and how he could have dated both of us but was emotionally torn. He then texts me and says he told her everything. How he's not going to see anyone before his deployment because he doesn't want to be heartbroken if I cheat on him (are you kidding me?) and I noticed he blocked me on instagram and told me he was going to block my phone number too. I went onto her instagram and oddly enough, she deleted her instagram? I also noticed his "Following count" on instagram went from 145 to 126 in the last hour since we broke up. That means he stopped following 20 other women. How nice. :lmao::lmao:"Glad and relieved" was he? I doubt very much he was eaten alive with guilt or that he told her everything. More than likely he was also seeing some of the 20 chicks he stopped following plus he blocked you and your phone number which says he is treating you like one of them. He is going to be more secretive about his cheating now so no one knows about the other. Thank goodness you were only seeing him for a few months. That should make it easier to move on from this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
caveman621 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Agree with all responses. He's done. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Emotionally torn....ya right. Total D-bag. Here's a tip...you take your chances with someone who is in the military, getting deployed. As they say about sailors...he has a girl in every port. Well it's no different in the army or air force. I'm not saying all military guys are d-bags, but there is a high risk. My guess is, they could get blown up tomorrow so smash as many girls as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
sdraw108 Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I'm sorry this has happened to you. My girlfriend of 4 1/2 years last week on Wednesday cooked me a meal, went on to her computer, booked a flight to another country, told me she was going to see her mum as she walked out of the door, and that's the last I saw of her. She's now with the person she spent the last 3 months cheating on me with, despite me forgiving her and her assuring me it was completely over and she was devoted to us. My outlook on this is... people who lie and cheat are toxic and you should run as far as you possible can away from them and never look back. Of course, knowing that doesn't lessen the pain any. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I recall another thread you wrote about not only him, but the ex before him and the overwhelming advice from everyone was to leave this guy alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 Wow read that thread and this guy has major issues. He loves Asian women but likes muscular women, WTF?! This guy never seemed like he was truly ready to commit to you OP. Take the advice this time and go NC. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I Really need some words of comfort or encouragement. I was falling in love with him and it is so disheartening to know he was sleeping with someone else just this past weekend! The positive is you found out after a short amount of time. I couldn't tell from your post, but I'm assuming you are dumping him and moving on? Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I Really need some words of comfort or encouragement. I was falling in love with him and it is so disheartening to know he was sleeping with someone else just this past weekend! And here it is, young lady.... Be thankful that this jackwagon showed you who he was at such an early stage in the relationship He did you a favor by revealing himself Now you know what he is capable of And it's something you probably want no part of. Imagine had you been in LTR or even married with a kid and a mortgage, and you found out he was banging someone else? It would be much more difficult to dump him. He made it easy. Let him be a somebody else's problem. Not your circus, not your monkeys. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lattes4Days Posted November 22, 2017 Author Share Posted November 22, 2017 Yes I'm dumping him. I asked him how long he had been seeing her and he said, "Too long honestly." He said he's "Not happy he lost either of us." and told me he had feelings for both of us. Ouch. The weird thing is that he wont stop texting me. This morning he texted me over and over again with his sob story about how sorry he is, but he only talked about himself and his own feelings and why he did it, basically justifying himself. I told him numerous times to please stop texting me, and he just kept doing it. I threatened to block him and he finally stopped...until the afternoon when he sent me a sad face, and actually called my house phone but as soon as I realized it was him I hung up. He texted me again tonight and said "Hope you're having a good night..." I haven't replied since this morning. Honestly I don't understand what he's doing or thinking. If he keeps it up, I'll really block him (I haven't yet because I wanted to see how much more he'd seriously text me). He's probably doing the same thing to the Asian girl. Maybe its his way of damage control. I just hope he doesn't show up at my door. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 Honestly I don't understand what he's doing or thinking. If he keeps it up, I'll really block him (I haven't yet because I wanted to see how much more he'd seriously text me). He's probably doing the same thing to the Asian girl. Maybe its his way of damage control. I just hope he doesn't show up at my door. He's trying to salvage a relationship with you (and maybe her). You haven't blocked him and he knows you like the attention (drama) otherwise, if you were the no-nonsense type, you would not respond and block him so that you can move on to someone worth your time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rightondude Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 first off this guy's an idiot if he didn't expect to get caught. You're better off. You'll realize it soon enough. It will hurt until then. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted November 22, 2017 Share Posted November 22, 2017 (edited) Time to move on Edited November 22, 2017 by TheTraveler Link to post Share on other sites
Sweetfish Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 (edited) I clearly told you in your other thread your boyfriend would cheat on you. On that note.. you are not the problem. He is. Edited November 26, 2017 by Sweetfish Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 I'm sorry this has happened to you. My girlfriend of 4 1/2 years last week on Wednesday cooked me a meal, went on to her computer, booked a flight to another country, told me she was going to see her mum as she walked out of the door, and that's the last I saw of her. She's now with the person she spent the last 3 months cheating on me with, despite me forgiving her and her assuring me it was completely over and she was devoted to us. My outlook on this is... people who lie and cheat are toxic and you should run as far as you possible can away from them and never look back. Of course, knowing that doesn't lessen the pain any. I’m sorry that you’re going through this. You deserve much better. How people can be so heartless and selfish is disgusting. It boggles the mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Logo Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 To the original poster, block him, ignore him, avoid him and start moving on. You need to take care of yourself now. But it sounds to me that you’re still holding on to some validation. It’s not worth it. Believe me. The sooner you move on and avoid all communication with him, the sooner you will recover. Sorry you had to find out the way you did. He’s clearly a sleaze bag. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 The weird thing is that he wont stop texting me. This morning he texted me over and over again with his sob story about how sorry he is, but he only talked about himself and his own feelings and why he did it, basically justifying himself. I told him numerous times to please stop texting me, and he just kept doing it. I threatened to block him and he finally stopped...until the afternoon when he sent me a sad face, and actually called my house phone but as soon as I realized it was him I hung up. He texted me again tonight and said "Hope you're having a good night..." I haven't replied since this morning. This is not weird at all for a clown like him; this is right from his Player Play Book. He is trying to keep you around so he can continue to use you when he wants. Forget him. He's not sorry and he's not sad. Not for the reasons you think, anyway. He's sad he lost his trusty supply of validation and sex, yes, but he's not in love with you. I would wager that this other girl thinks she's his girlfriend, too. Please, be done with him. He is bad, bad news. Link to post Share on other sites
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