chinadiary Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 51 years old. Financially very comfortable, professionally in demand. Just split up with my LT partner so feeling sorry for myself and wondering if that was it, in terms of any hope of a LTR. Give me hope guys! Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 You officially have hope... Listen 51 is young. Just don't be crazy, keep yourself looking good. Don't go crazy, but be don't be a prude either. If you like a guy after a few dates and you want to get laid, do it. Just don't be stupid. And do NOT get into anything serious for a while. Shop around if you want that. I think you are female. Either way, just stay lose and have fun. WATCH OUT FOR CRAZY, it is everywhere out there. But there are some really nice people as well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I met a nice guy already, but I'm not ready to date yet. TBH, I don't feel confident enough to date, at my age. I feel past it. Nor sexually, but looks wise and just... Kicked by the end of my LTR. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) Over 50 here. I'm in shape, sane, and financially stable, which seems to be the trifecta for this age group - I'm in demand. Problem is that many of the guys can't say the same. Not looking for perfection but it would be nice to meet men that are also taking care of themselves (inside and out) and are emotionally healthy. Edited November 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) Over 50 here. I'm in shape, sane, and financially stable, which seems to be the trifecta for this age group - I'm in demand. Problem is that many of the guys can't say the same. Not looking for perfection but it would be nice to meet men that are also taking care of themselves (inside and out) and are emotionally healthy. Eh...I dunno.... I mentioned it in another thread...An old HS buddy of mine got divorced recently....When I say this guy is broke, I mean, he can't even pay attention...I had to lend/give him some money on several occasions..Conventionally unattractive, out of shape, one of those 50 something guys that has a gut and a Harley.....but little else...You know the type I am sure... He spent a few years dating(and screwing) all kinds of women from late 20's to 50's...Some of these women were pretty nice looking and had their crap together, from what I can see...He's now settled with a pretty attractive size 2/4 40 something... The problem is the guys you are looking for do exist, but they have a zillion options...Being "in shape" by 50's standards is great, but may just not be enough and most guys don't really care about financial security at this point in life, because most better quality guys have money and you wouldn't(and rightfully so) share any of your money with them anyway-even if they didn't.,....let's put it this way, they generally aren't on dating sites looking for relationships, for the most part... TFY Edited November 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 When I say this guy is broke, I mean, he can't even pay attention. :lmao::lmao: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Eh...I dunno.... I mentioned it in another thread...An old HS buddy of mine got divorced recently....When I say this guy is broke, I mean, he can't even pay attention...I had to lend/give him some money on several occasions..Conventionally unattractive, out of shape, one of those 50 something guys that has a gut and a Harley.....but little else...You know the type I am sure... He spent a few years dating(and screwing) all kinds of women from late 20's to 50's...Some of these women were pretty nice looking and had their crap together, from what I can see...He's now settled with a pretty attractive size 2/4 40 something... The problem is the guys you are looking for do exist, but they have a zillion options...Being "in shape" by 50's standards is great, but may just not be enough and most guys don't really care about financial security at this point in life, because most better quality guys have money and you wouldn't(and rightfully so) share any of your money with them anyway-even if they didn't.,....let's put it this way, they generally aren't on dating sites looking for relationships, for the most part... TFY Hence why older women choose to remain single. Better that than drinking dregs. Although, the guy after me is younger and wealthy. So there are exceptions. Just unfortunate I'm not ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myword Posted November 19, 2017 Author Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you Edited November 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Cobra_X Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) Wow. I simply can't wait for my 45th birthday! On another note, I've never really known that about menopause, that it's really just a "pause." Listen, being the bottom of the food chain doesn't mean you won't have any options. It just means you have to lower your standards. I've got a good friend who divorced at 50. She looks pretty good for her age. She dated around a lot... all sex, zero relationship. Finally she was willing to date the pot bellied guy with gray hair. Very happy relationship. She just had to lower her physical standards. Actually, there is an upside....Maybe it's just this particular locale, where a lot of women really do their best to look good, but I do think this is not as rare as it may seem.. Women in their 40's and 50's actually looking better than their 20 something daughters...yes...It's true...Especially the workout crew..I know of two women in their 50's that most 20 somethings would kill to have their bodies.. There is a logical explanation as well.. Like the rest of us, most women in these age groups grew up without technology for the most part....They are reaping the benefits of years of their youth, where they weren't just staring at a screen all day long...They are just better conditioned... TFY Um... there is a dramatic increase in the number of fat girls under 40. That said, they are still biologically preferred because they can produce children. Men being attracted to youth is a natural thing that to understand we only need look to evolutionary psychology. Men who are specifically attracted to non-child producing women are defective and therefore rare. So, it's important as a female ages to keep those traits that mimic youthfulness. That will assist in remaining attractive to the bulk of the male population. Regardless there will always be options available. You just need to be willing to settle for a guy with lower social standing and less attractive features. Over 50 here. I'm in shape, sane, and financially stable, which seems to be the trifecta for this age group - I'm in demand. Problem is that many of the guys can't say the same. Not looking for perfection but it would be nice to meet men that are also taking care of themselves (inside and out) and are emotionally healthy. If you are truly "in demand" then you should not have a problem finding someone suitable. If you are struggling with this, then you are NOT "in demand" among top tier men. You can wait and hope for another decade, or you can lower your standards and do just fine. Maybe look for men that are not financially stable? Or men that are overweight? Edited November 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. I'm with you, although I'm a woman. I feel unattractive, undateable. I've given up. Not going there again. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you Well....People start threads and get a variety of responses- on both sides...It's often helpful to know what's going on out there, rather than think the whole world shares your perceived misfortune.....if all you wanted is a sad sack fest, then maybe state that in your OP...but hey, whatever... On another note, having some misfortune doesn't qualify you as a loser and I fully agree with the last part of the post... TFY Edited November 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 I'm with you, although I'm a woman. I feel unattractive, undateable. I've given up. Not going there again. Not sure why you feel "undateable" when you have a man interested in dating you. Maybe you just need to get back up on that horse, ready or not. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 Hence why older women choose to remain single. Better that than drinking dregs. Although, the guy after me is younger and wealthy. So there are exceptions. Just unfortunate I'm not ready. Yes - if I was willing to date younger guys, the other problems would go away. It's almost as though guys who are 5-10 years younger are secure enough to go for what they want, whereas guys my age or slightly older are scarce, unless they come with more problems than I'm willing to take on. Maybe it's time to reevaluate my stance against dating younger men. Sorry OP. Back to your situation. Why do you feel like a loser? Where are you located and how do you try to find dates? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted November 19, 2017 Share Posted November 19, 2017 (edited) When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you MyWord - I wouldn't worry too much about the guys who boast about their successes with women because their bragging demonstrates immaturity and a lack of respect for women in general, which are two of the main things that turn intelligent women off, (though insecure women go for those qualities in a big way). In short, those guys probably aren't too fussy - if she's breathing, looks OK, bathes regularly and falls for their cheesy pick-up lines she's potential prey for their over-inflated ego to feast on. Just because you can't meet someone doesn't mean you're a loser, on the contrary you're obviously fussy, which is a good thing. Date sites really aren't a great place to meet people, there's too much leeway for misrepresentation. Maybe you need to find yourself a wingman and get out on the town a bit. Edited November 20, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 5 Link to post Share on other sites
whatnot Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for youI agree with MsJayne Myword. Comparing ourselves to others (at least, for me) is almost *always* a losing proposition. Alot of what you describe is....in my opinion....just a part of life. Dating isn't any different. It can be hard work. And I understand where you're coming from....it can seem, at times....as if it's a young man's game. The energy level just goes down with age. (actually, mines gone down *alot* ) So...it sounds to me as if you're doing pretty well....if you're having bad dates....becaues it means....at least you're dating. And as long as one's dating....and doesn't give up....it's almost just a matter of time. Some of us *do* give up. Sometimes it can seem as if...."It's just not worth it". Hang in there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Yes - if I was willing to date younger guys, the other problems would go away. It's almost as though guys who are 5-10 years younger are secure enough to go for what they want, whereas guys my age or slightly older are scarce, unless they come with more problems than I'm willing to take on. Maybe it's time to reevaluate my stance against dating younger men. Sorry OP. Back to your situation. Why do you feel like a loser? Where are you located and how do you try to find dates? I date younger (was married to someone 3 years younger, last partner was younger). Have gone out with a guy 14 years younger, but seems like my preferred age range is 3-5 years younger. I don't rule out same age or older guys; it just hasn't happened that there has been an attraction to the latter at this point. Guys date younger women all of the time, and the same standard applies for me, it's worked out that younger guys are who I'm most compatible with. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 I date younger (was married to someone 3 years younger, last partner was younger). Have gone out with a guy 14 years younger, but seems like my preferred age range is 3-5 years younger. I don't rule out same age or older guys; it just hasn't happened that there has been an attraction to the latter at this point. Guys date younger women all of the time, and the same standard applies for me, it's worked out that younger guys are who I'm most compatible with. Just out of curiosity, if you dated all these younger guys, how come none of them are still with you?? Not trying to be snarky, but you hear women say this all the time, yet its always in the past tense...Never could quite figure out why...3-5 years isn't really worth mentioning unless you are 19 years old..Most people are pretty similar in those age ranges, especially once past like 35 or so... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 Just out of curiosity, if you dated all these younger guys, how come none of them are still with you?? Not trying to be snarky, but you hear women say this all the time, yet its always in the past tense...Never could quite figure out why...3-5 years isn't really worth mentioning unless you are 19 years old..Most people are pretty similar in those age ranges, especially once past like 35 or so... TFY I didn't say "all of these younger guys"..but nice try at distortion. And your snark came through just fine, just as you intended. And how dare we over-35 year olds mention age differences, when we are all lumped together in your amazingly brilliant perspective. I divorced my husband (I filed) after being together for 18 years, hardly a bad track record. My last partner ended up moving out of state to be nearer to his kids, which was the right thing for him to do and long distance was no fun for the time we did that. In this last 11 months that I've been single, I've dated younger men and have not yet found anyone compatible. The older guys who have messaged me look 20 years older than me and their messages read that way too. If it's a failure in your eyes that I attract, go on dates with, and am not compatible with every guy I go out with.....okay. I don't settle and neither should anyone else. The message earlier in this thread is that women should lower their standards and accept the potbellied, less than financially stable guys. No thanks, I would much rather be single. I have a full life, am happy to not be dependent on anyone financially, and am glad that when I go out on dates it is with in shape, vibrant guys who can keep up with me. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 (edited) I didn't say "all of these younger guys"..but nice try at distortion. And your snark came through just fine, just as you intended. And how dare we over-35 year olds mention age differences, when we are all lumped together in your amazingly brilliant perspective. I divorced my husband (I filed) after being together for 18 years, hardly a bad track record. My last partner ended up moving out of state to be nearer to his kids, which was the right thing for him to do and long distance was no fun for the time we did that. In this last 11 months that I've been single, I've dated younger men and have not yet found anyone compatible. The older guys who have messaged me look 20 years older than me and their messages read that way too. If it's a failure in your eyes that I attract, go on dates with, and am not compatible with every guy I go out with.....okay. I don't settle and neither should anyone else. The message earlier in this thread is that women should lower their standards and accept the potbellied, less than financially stable guys. No thanks, I would much rather be single. I have a full life, am happy to not be dependent on anyone financially, and am glad that when I go out on dates it is with in shape, vibrant guys who can keep up with me. Ok, fine...get defensive.... Nowhere did I say you failed, you should lower your standards, or that you should settle on anything...And if you go back in the thread I'm the one that said most older women around here, anyway, look better than their daughters..eh, whatever... The point is that there are plenty of good looking/athletic, financially independent men, and most are with good looking and athletic women...of similar age..It's not really all that difficult a concept to imagine..We aren't all broke, fat assed, d-bags...Sure, we aren't as common as the busted out types, but there are probably enough of us that its not that hard to find someone compatible.. To think that there are no men your age that "can keep up with you" is kind of ridiculous, no?? Oh well...keep at it, I guess....you obviously know what you want and what you are doing.... TFY Edited November 20, 2017 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 (edited) Ok, fine...get defensive.... Nowhere did I say you failed, you should lower your standards, or that you should settle on anything...And if you go back in the thread I'm the one that said most older women around here, anyway, look better than their daughters..eh, whatever... The point is that there are plenty of good looking/athletic, financially independent men, and most are with good looking and athletic women...of similar age..It's not really all that difficult a concept to imagine..We aren't all broke, fat assed, d-bags...Sure, we aren't as common as the busted out types, but there are probably enough of us that its not that hard to find someone compatible.. To think that there are no men your age that "can keep up with you" is kind of ridiculous, no?? Oh well...keep at it, I guess....you obviously know what you want and what you are doing.... TFY Again, a distortion...I didn't say there are no men my age who can keep up with me. I obviously don't personally know all of the men who are my age here. The age range on my dating profile is 40-57 so I'm open to a wide range of ages. In real life, the men who are 55+ and are appealing are not single (for obvious reasons). Thanks for your permission to 'keep at it. I don't think anyone really knows what they are doing (including me), but a lot of us know what we don't want. Edited November 20, 2017 by greymatter 2 Link to post Share on other sites
greymatter Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you I would encourage you to keep posting, and vent when you need to.I'm sorry you are feeling so low about this. Be kind to yourself. No one has it all figured out. A lot of it is about timing and luck in terms of meeting a compatible person. All we have control over is our response to things that don't go well (such as not internalizing it), what we bring to each potential partnership (this is huge), and not being hard on ourselves while continuously working on what we can improve about ourselves. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chinadiary Posted November 20, 2017 Share Posted November 20, 2017 When I posted this issue I hoped to hear from men like me who struggle to find women or who had given up. Successful guys are happy to boast. No one wants to admit he/she is a loser (as I feel I am) because I have dozens of awful dates and incidents that would turn off anyone from dating forever. some guys have all the luck--so good for you Other people do seem to have all the luck. I see happy couples around me and I'm so envious and sad. There IS more to life than a relationship and I try hard to tell myself that. But it's not easy to believe when you're at home, alone and desperate not to be. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
translucentsoul Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 I'm 49 and dating a man who is 65. Shared pool of interests, related professions, and friends, and weirdly, grew up in the same area, a few states away. Neither of us acts our age. It fun and profoundly comfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Myword Posted November 21, 2017 Author Share Posted November 21, 2017 Thanks for comments. I am probably the oldest member of this site and I realized when I turned 50 that I would not find love or rather she would not love me...because of my history. If I found someone I would be so grateful I would do my best for it to work. Alas, it is too late for me because women my age are just looking for companionship, nothing more I think. I am not actively looking but I think about it every day, why I amalone and why so many SWF left me or would not answer my calls. Maybe I was too picky but I must be physically turned on. I had nothing in common with them, usually. So one by one I blew my chances--or they blew me (no pun) I like women--and they usually enjoy talking with me and it stops there. Then I hear "I'm too busy" or a blank look or she disappears. I have lost out--as if all the ships of couples have sailed away and I am left on the dock and no more ships are arriving. BTW, I have at least okay looks with average build, short. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 21, 2017 Share Posted November 21, 2017 This site includes a wide age range but not many 50 and above I have noticed. married or single. I am in my Sixties and single but have a very active interest in sex, love, relationships. And a high libido. I wonder how many others are out there especially in U.S. but everyone can answer. Women my age are usually not interested in sex of any kind. They talk about being friends. ( have tried online dating sites--ugh.) Do senior men have any "bait"? Whaaat?? Good grief. Most women don't even hit their sexual prime until mid-thirties. I'm 48 soon to be 49 and I feel like I'm in the prime of my life especially sexually. I'm both very sexual and sexually adventurous with no sign of it slowing down anytime soon (fingers crossed). I've often found that men my age are the ones who are so often the ones who lack interest in sex and are not nearly as sexually adventurous as younger men. I'm not nearly ready to buy matching rocking chairs just yet And I realize I'm making a sweeping generalization but that's been my personal experience in the 8 years I've been back at dating again. I think men in their 50's and beyond have just as much 'bait' as any other man but I think it hinges on a few things like vitality, self-awareness, and open-mindedness. I also think taking care of oneself both mentally and physically is equally important. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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