Ghosted?

[Miss Spider]

I wish you the best, but I think you are just setting yourself to be strung along and humiliated more

[Tahoe996]

Haha! You are seriously right and 9/10 that's exactly what I do! I just started cutting some weight so I'm in a calorie deficit and maybe that's why I'm feeling like such an idiot, all I've done is set myself up for complete disaster in responding

[Tahoe996]

I wish you the best, but I think you are just setting yourself to be strung along and humiliated more

 

I'm thinking more and more you are right, do I even bother calling now? I have a lot in my stomach even calling. I haven't been this nervous in awhile and I have no idea even why?! I don't want to be like her, but I kind of do...

Edited November 14, 2017 by Tahoe996

[Zahara]

I'm thinking more and more you are right, do I even bother calling now? I have a lot in my stomach even calling. I haven't been this nervous in awhile and I have no idea even why?! I don't want to be like her, but I kind of do...

 

I think you're going to have to get knocked around a few more times by her for you to finally call it quits.

 

You don't have to be like her -- you just need to pick up your self-respect and move on. Being like her would only mean more game playing and possibly further confusion/hurt for you.

[Tahoe996]

I think you're going to have to get knocked around a few more times by her for you to finally call it quits.

 

You don't have to be like her -- you just need to pick up your self-respect and move on. Being like her would only mean more game playing and possibly further confusion/hurt for you.

 

After tonight, if nothing then I will block her. I'm already honestly not even wanting to talk, Tonight, I'm tired and I don't even know what the point is of this is. I definitely want to keep the higher ground and not go down to an immature level. Maybe I'll call and if no answer I'll just let it go to the blocking thing, I already feel bad enough for even trying later.

 

Even trying to talk it out has become shameful for me. That's a good thing I suppose.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Tahoe996

[rightondude]

hell I'd hear her out; I'm sure there's a completely logical explanation.

 

Even though you do give a damn, I'd give the impression you don't. Let her do all the talking and just ask questions instead of making your own defensive statements. Maybe then you'll get some semblance of an answer.

 

I've been there too brother. Nothing's easy. If you expect a good solid answer I think you'll be disappointed and if you expect this to be the only time something like this happens, you'll end up more crushed.

[dumbass2]

It's OK, you'll just have to learn the hard way. Hopefully you do learn from this and it sticks so you won't devalue yourself with future women. Hopefully you'll toughen up and not be so weak so you don't allow yourself to be disrespected by someone again.

[Tahoe996]

hell I'd hear her out; I'm sure there's a completely logical explanation.

 

Even though you do give a damn, I'd give the impression you don't. Let her do all the talking and just ask questions instead of making your own defensive statements. Maybe then you'll get some semblance of an answer.

 

I've been there too brother. Nothing's easy. If you expect a good solid answer I think you'll be disappointed and if you expect this to be the only time something like this happens, you'll end up more crushed.

 

I appreciate it! Well as I suspected I called and it rang straight to voicemail, and just hung up. left my phone unblocked for now. I don't get the game she's playing with this let's talk And then not picking up or calling me back BS, it's gotten to the point where it's really childish, I would think people would maybe have more maturity, but apparently that's not the case. I don't know if she gets off on it or what, but I believe I finally got my answer after the 6th time of this call me I'll call you not returning text BS!

 

It sucks but I can't go through this I'll call you, you call me, silent treatment thing. Why she even throws that out is a huge mystery.

I got played, what can I say.

[Tahoe996]

It's OK, you'll just have to learn the hard way. Hopefully you do learn from this and it sticks so you won't devalue yourself with future women. Hopefully you'll toughen up and not be so weak so you don't allow yourself to be disrespected by someone again.

 

God I really hope so! That's not been a great track for me, I don't know if women can spot it out in me or what.

I've been extremely tough recently, I've walked away each and every time anyone disrespects me in the past couple years. She somehow got me good!

[Tahoe996]

I've stayed single over the past two years learning and just figuring myself out more and getting over a previous mess. Honestly I gave up on even trying, had a few dates here and there and have had many an opportunity to go on a lot of them. This is how my serious relationships have gone. Even went to counseling to figure all this out and still no success.

 

1st ex, (6 years) I was cheated on by her and a close friend. She had a kid who she gave my middle name to and raised for awhile as my own. She left and never let me see him again.

2nd ex (6 years) Things were pretty good but unfortunately she got pregnant by me and decided to have an abortion that I was very against. Too much resentment to carry on and broke off the engagement.

3rd (6 years) was an absolutely terrible affair that I put myself into. Really loved her but as anyone who's ever been on "The Other Man/Woman thread knows how bad it is.

 

I know again this last women was all of two weeks, but damn! Just as I decided to open up again!

Maybe I'll save this for another thread sometime.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Tahoe996

[Southern Sun]

Seriously - do NOT give her the time of day from this point forward. No response. No contact. Done. I don't care what BS she gives you.

[Zahara]

I've stayed single over the past two years learning and just figuring myself out more and getting over a previous mess. Honestly I gave up on even trying, had a few dates here and there and have had many an opportunity to go on a lot of them. This is how my serious relationships have gone. Even went to counseling to figure all this out and still no success.

 

1st ex, (6 years) I was cheated on by her and a close friend. She had a kid who she gave my middle name to and raised for awhile as my own. She left and never let me see him again.

2nd ex (6 years) Things were pretty good but unfortunately she got pregnant by me and decided to have an abortion that I was very against. Too much resentment to carry on and broke off the engagement.

3rd (6 years) was an absolutely terrible affair that I put myself into. Really loved her but as anyone who's ever been on "The Other Man/Woman thread knows how bad it is.

 

I know again this last women was all of two weeks, but damn! Just as I decided to open up again!

Maybe I'll save this for another thread sometime.

 

Staying single and using that time for self-reflection and self-development doesn't guarantee that you're not going to come across dysfunctional people when you start dating again. What it does is help you form stronger and healthier boundaries along with better standards when you choose to start dating again. That time away helps you become emotionally independent and secure -- however, you got involved with a woman, she showed you a red flag 2 weeks in and YOU SAW IT and rather than step away, you dove in emotionally and lost all sense of your boundaries. And even after 6 slaps on the face, you're still leaving yourself unblocked.

 

I stayed single for several years and earlier this year decided to date again. I signed up on a dating site and I was weeding them out the moment I saw a red flag, even when I felt some level of connection. After a past of dysfunctional relationships and painful lessons learned, I wasn't going to ignore the signs. The old me would have blinded myself and I would have run with the "connection" -- because I was desperate to have someone/be in a relationship. But after being alone for so long, I realized that being alone/in a relationship wasn't the end all be all and I wasn't going to settle.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Zahara

[Kellens]

Ughhh.. reading this thread is making me angry for you! I don't know why some people like to play games, it's really not fair, but all part of dating unfortunately. I know how it feels to get "love bombed" and it really messes with your head when someone is so enamored with you and then completely changes overnight.

 

Please just ignore her and move on. You will find someone normal who will make you feel good about relationships again. Now that you have had this experience, you can recognize the red flags and make sure you don't fall into this a second time.

 

I'm sorry that this happened to you but don't give up. You seem like a nice guy and life is too short to become bitter because of a**holes like this.

 

Good luck!

[dumbass2]

God I really hope so! That's not been a great track for me, I don't know if women can spot it out in me or what.

I've been extremely tough recently, I've walked away each and every time anyone disrespects me in the past couple years. She somehow got me good!

 

No, you've done this to yourself. The red flags are there and you keep ignoring and going back for more. Stop blaming her and making excuses for yourself. Women don't find men attractive that don't have any self respect. Allow yourself to be disrespected once is one thing, but over and over and over is just embarrassing for yourself. Not that it matters, but she thinks you're very weak. She knows exactly what she's doing. You're way too tolerant and it will lead to you getting walked all over. It doesn't matter if you've been tough recently. You need to value yourself ALWAYS.

[Highndry]

I appreciate it! Well as I suspected I called and it rang straight to voicemail, and just hung up. left my phone unblocked for now. I don't get the game she's playing with this let's talk And then not picking up or calling me back BS, it's gotten to the point where it's really childish, I would think people would maybe have more maturity, but apparently that's not the case. I don't know if she gets off on it or what, but I believe I finally got my answer after the 6th time of this call me I'll call you not returning text BS!

 

It sucks but I can't go through this I'll call you, you call me, silent treatment thing. Why she even throws that out is a huge mystery.

I got played, what can I say.

 

I feel bad for you. It's like you are a glutton for punishment or something. Why would you call her AGAIN? You knew she wouldn't answer, you even said it, yet you called anyway. All you've done is continued to lower your value to her. If you really wanted to see this gal again, which I'm not sure why you would given her behavior, you have gone about it all wrong. You've basically helped to push her away. When she sees how she can just treat you like a piece of trash and you keep coming back for more, she is repulsed by you. Seriously. Any respect she may have had is gone, and you look like a stage 5 clinger who needs to be flushed down the toilet. I hope for your sake you've finally had enough of this.

[Miss Spider]

I mean this is the most constructive way, but you have Nice Guy Syndrome (NGS) and the prognosis does NOT look good unless there's some serious intervention

Edited November 14, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Patrice]

character and integrity. This is clearly HER issue. Stop beating yourself up, you trusted her and you got hurt - don't let this jade you as a person - you picked the wrong one.

[Tahoe996]

Thank you everyone for responding, I've read through all of this and it all makes more sense now, I did a message from her saying "so sorry I fell asleep, this last week has kicked my butt."

I did respond, but also told her I would be blocking her from this point forward, everyone is right I did mess up on this pretty bad and I do look pretty damn pathetic. Right now is really hard and I'm not sure why, I felt pretty good this morning and have progressively felt worse. Yeah I miss her but I guess I feel stupid for being that easy. Mixed emotions I guess.

I think it's just set in that this isn't going to happen.

[Highndry]

Thank you everyone for responding, I've read through all of this and it all makes more sense now, I did a message from her saying "so sorry I fell asleep, this last week has kicked my butt."

I did respond, but also told her I would be blocking her from this point forward, everyone is right I did mess up on this pretty bad and I do look pretty damn pathetic. Right now is really hard and I'm not sure why, I felt pretty good this morning and have progressively felt worse. Yeah I miss her but I guess I feel stupid for being that easy. Mixed emotions I guess.

I think it's just set in that this isn't going to happen.

 

Completely ignoring her would have been the best. That said, I hope you stick to it.

[Tahoe996]

I've stayed single over the past two years learning and just figuring myself out more and getting over a previous mess. Honestly I gave up on even trying, had a few dates here and there and have had many an opportunity to go on a lot of them. This is how my serious relationships have gone. Even went to counseling to figure all this out and still no success.

 

1st ex, (6 years) I was cheated on by her and a close friend. She had a kid who she gave my middle name to and raised for awhile as my own. She left and never let me see him again.

2nd ex (6 years) Things were pretty good but unfortunately she got pregnant by me and decided to have an abortion that I was very against. Too much resentment to carry on and broke off the engagement.

3rd (6 years) was an absolutely terrible affair that I put myself into. Really loved her but as anyone who's ever been on "The Other Man/Woman thread knows how bad it is.

 

I know again this last women was all of two weeks, but damn! Just as I decided to open up again!

Maybe I'll save this for another thread sometime.

 

Completely ignoring her would have been the best. That said, I hope you stick to it.

 

 

 

I feel I have to, I know all I'd get is another excuse, another line and I don't know what else I can do, yeah I feel really pathetic right now and it sucks!

Maybe I'm just really down right now for whatever reason, I guess for some reason all that I'm thinking about is the words she gave. I know it wasn't real and it was only 2 weeks, but man it stings like hell right now. It's set in more and more and feeling how pathetic I've come off isn't helping.

[Highndry]

I feel I have to, I know all I'd get is another excuse, another line and I don't know what else I can do, yeah I feel really pathetic right now and it sucks!

Maybe I'm just really down right now for whatever reason, I guess for some reason all that I'm thinking about is the words she gave. I know it wasn't real and it was only 2 weeks, but man it stings like hell right now. It's set in more and more and feeling how pathetic I've come off isn't helping.

 

You're not responsible for her horrible character. She does this same thing to other guys. It's not about you. That said, what you can control is how you handle these situations in the future, exhibiting more self discipline and self respect.

 

You have gained some valuable experience, and should be thankful it's over this quickly. Trust me, you do not want to find yourself in a long term relationship with that kind of woman. At best she lied to you because you were only a booty call from her perspective but she got carried away with her words. At worst she is some fine cocktail of Cluster B personality disorders of which you should thank your lucky stars you will not be a part of.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't ask for this, you just had a hard time navigating it because you're a caring man. Good luck.

[Tahoe996]

You're not responsible for her horrible character. She does this same thing to other guys. It's not about you. That said, what you can control is how you handle these situations in the future, exhibiting more self discipline and self respect.

 

You have gained some valuable experience, and should be thankful it's over this quickly. Trust me, you do not want to find yourself in a long term relationship with that kind of woman. At best she lied to you because you were only a booty call from her perspective but she got carried away with her words. At worst she is some fine cocktail of Cluster B personality disorders of which you should thank your lucky stars you will not be a part of.

 

Don't be too hard on yourself, you didn't ask for this, you just had a hard time navigating it because you're a caring man. Good luck.

 

Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm definitely at rock bottom at the moment, I know I'll get better, just struggling right now with going from the words said along with the actions in the beginning, to being completely blown off then strung along since Friday and making me feel like a complete idiot in the processes.

I did care for her, part of me hopes of course we could talk and this was all a big misunderstanding, and maybe we will reconnect, but I know that won't be the case! I'm sure that it's for the best, I can't go through this again and right now just sucks because I think I came to the realization it's over and how I've probably come across to her. i know I'm pathetic in her eyes but for her to think of me like that sucks.

[Highndry]

Thank you, I appreciate it. I'm definitely at rock bottom at the moment, I know I'll get better, just struggling right now with going from the words said along with the actions in the beginning, to being completely blown off then strung along since Friday and making me feel like a complete idiot in the processes.

I did care for her, part of me hopes of course we could talk and this was all a big misunderstanding, and maybe we will reconnect, but I know that won't be the case! I'm sure that it's for the best, I can't go through this again and right now just sucks because I think I came to the realization it's over and how I've probably come across to her. i know I'm pathetic in her eyes but for her to think of me like that sucks.

 

It doesn't matter what she thinks of you at this point, you need to realize that this woman is bad news and that it is in your best interests to never talk to her again. You have some sort of scarcity mentality and have put her on a pedestal when she has not earned any of that.

 

No woman is worth this amount of grief, nor should they be allowed to disrespect you like that. You show them your value by walking away and never looking back. This is not a woman worthy of your time, no matter what the activity.

[Tahoe996]

So, she decided to text and I have to share what she sent, I actually busted out laughing, I know I shouldn't be laughing , I haven't responded or anything but wow! This is what she sent...

 

"Sorry it's been a busy day. I was "off" from normal physical labor today besides office work then interrupted with adopting this little guy. He's not weaned yet so he is taking a lot of my time today/ tonight. I was hoping to talk to you in person then this little guy needed urgent help."

 

Followed by six pics and a video of a Ferret.

I'm still hurt, but seriously lol WOW! I can't even make this kind of stuff up!

[Highndry]

So, she decided to text and I have to share what she sent, I actually busted out laughing, I know I shouldn't be laughing , I haven't responded or anything but wow! This is what she sent...

 

"Sorry it's been a busy day. I was "off" from normal physical labor today besides office work then interrupted with adopting this little guy. He's not weaned yet so he is taking a lot of my time today/ tonight. I was hoping to talk to you in person then this little guy needed urgent help."

 

Followed by six pics and a video of a Ferret.

I'm still hurt, but seriously lol WOW! I can't even make this kind of stuff up!

 

So you're in line behind a random ferret, too. Is there anybody/anything that's not in front of you? And about that blocking that's not going so well....man, you have got it bad...