If you've only been on two dates with a guy but he likes another girl's picture?

[Michelle ma Belle]

This is what I thought. She had doubts about me before our first date, hence she cancelled with family problems but hinted about us texting before meeting the following weekend. This was two days after she had sent the request and I left it lingering. I only accepted it after she cancelled on me. It was because she didn't know me enough prior to the date.

 

I hardly think anyone can really know someone simply by looking at their social media accounts.

 

Anyone with half a brain knows that Facebook and IG in particular are really just highlight reels of someone's best moments all filtered and enhanced for full visual impact.

 

Smoke and mirrors.

 

Beyond that, so often what is seen and read on social media can also be misconstrued BIG time. It's not necessarily a true representation of who we are offline. The last thing you want is to invite someone you barely know to scrutinize the way you interact online and vice versa.

 

 

How old are the two of you?

[fmfan08]

I hardly think anyone can really know someone simply by looking at their social media accounts.

 

Anyone with half a brain knows that Facebook and IG in particular are really just highlight reels of someone's best moments all filtered and enhanced for full visual impact.

 

Smoke and mirrors.

 

Beyond that, so often what is seen and read on social media can also be misconstrued BIG time. It's not necessarily a true representation of who we are offline. The last thing you want is to invite someone you barely know to scrutinize the way you interact online and vice versa.

 

 

How old are the two of you?

 

Maybe she worried about catfishing, but then again some people can make really good fake facebook accounts. I'm 25 and she's 23.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Maybe she worried about catfishing, but then again some people can make really good fake facebook accounts. I'm 25 and she's 23.

 

Good Lawd.

 

The only people who need to worry about being catfished are those who talk to people who avoid meeting up or who make excuses not to Skype/video if they're LD.

 

And yes, seasoned catfishers will go to all sorts of extremes to support their fake identities including fake profiles. You see it all the time on the show Catfish.

 

Your ages kind of explains it all now.

[fmfan08]

I decided to deactivate my current Facebook account, I hardly use it only just to keep tabs on a few friends. Not spoken to this girl I've been dating for two dates since last night but haven't had a reply from her today. Hopefully she doesn't think I've blocked her by deactivating Facebook as I haven't warned her about doing that, but she still has my number if she wants to get in touch with me.

[NuevoYorko]

Yeah, good luck with that!!!

 

Surely you jest.

 

I understand where you are coming from - but do you read anyone else's posts? I did not tally but I estimate that 7 out of 10 posters on that other thread, if not more, would never even consider adding strangers just starting to date on their social media.

 

The answer to the OP's problem would have been to delete her friend request. Then he would not be in the position to have to worry about what a stranger thinks about how he manages his social media.

 

Where is the head banging smiley?

[Michelle ma Belle]

Surely you jest.

 

I understand where you are coming from - but do you read anyone else's posts? I did not tally but I estimate that 7 out of 10 posters on that other thread, if not more, would never even consider adding strangers just starting to date on their social media.

 

The answer to the OP's problem would have been to delete her friend request. Then he would not be in the position to have to worry about what a stranger thinks about how he manages his social media.

 

Where is the head banging smiley?

 

I'm going to assume that people are exchanging last names right out the gates otherwise how else would she have found you if you didn't reach out to her first.

 

My FB profile is unsearchable, meaning I don't use my real name, don't have a PFP of myself and have my account on lock down.

 

Any guy who asks me about friending one another on FB, I just straight up tell them that I don't add random people and that my list is very small with only close friends and family.

 

I have yet to meet someone who didn't respect or appreciate that.

 

Not sure if there are double standards here but it seems pretty simple to me.

[fmfan08]

I'm going to assume that people are exchanging last names right out the gates otherwise how else would she have found you if you didn't reach out to her first.

 

My FB profile is unsearchable, meaning I don't use my real name, don't have a PFP of myself and have my account on lock down.

 

Any guy who asks me about friending one another on FB, I just straight up tell them that I don't add random people and that my list is very small with only close friends and family.

 

I have yet to meet someone who didn't respect or appreciate that.

 

Not sure if there are double standards here but it seems pretty simple to me.

 

You can type their phone number into Facebook and find people that way. In my case, I have a very unusual first name so it wasn't hard to find me.

[Michelle ma Belle]

You can type their phone number into Facebook and find people that way. In my case, I have a very unusual first name so it wasn't hard to find me.

 

Gotta love FB and their love of transparency.

 

Again, you can only track someone down if they want to tracked down. The more info you add in your FB profile, the more searchable you become. 2+2=4.

 

Regardless, it's a mute point. What's done is done and now you've deactivated your account. Ball is in her court.

 

Lesson learned about FB and friending newbies.

[Cookiesandough]

Surely you jest.

 

I understand where you are coming from - but do you read anyone else's posts? I did not tally but I estimate that 7 out of 10 posters on that other thread, if not more, would never even consider adding strangers just starting to date on their social media.

 

The answer to the OP's problem would have been to delete her friend request. Then he would not be in the position to have to worry about what a stranger thinks about how he manages his social media.

 

Where is the head banging smiley?

Nuevo, that's true, but many do care. The OP of that thread. Someone admitted they wouldn't entertain the thought of a first date with a guy unless he was searchable online and they were able to extract enough info about him prior.

 

 

Hasn't been my experience online guys are cool with ignoring their friend requests/follow requests either. They don't just forget. They will continue to lowkey harrass you. One went so far as to accuse me of perhaps being underaged because I go to great lengths to not be searchable online. I am on the sad side of 20. It's a shame, but if you're in your 20s and have no or little social media presence,you are viewed as a bit of a pariah...

 

Like I said, I believe it's heavily age-dependent. Older people won't care as much. The older the person is the more likely they are to be against the sharing of personal information online, sometimes approaching a bit technophobic. Normal. You won't see too many 23 year olds say they are afraid of putting pics or information about themselves up online though. I think if someone said that at 23 they would be viewed by their peers as a paranoid - someone who most likely also believes government mind control and chem trails are a pressing issue

 

 

But your point stands. OP should be themselves and only do what they're comfortable with so they will find someone who is compatible with them.

Edited November 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[fmfan08]

Gotta love FB and their love of transparency.

 

Again, you can only track someone down if they want to tracked down. The more info you add in your FB profile, the more searchable you become. 2+2=4.

 

Regardless, it's a mute point. What's done is done and now you've deactivated your account. Ball is in her court.

 

Lesson learned about FB and friending newbies.

 

She knows when she added me on Facebook that I told her I don't use it much, I'm sure she won't take offence but she'll wonder what's up. Social media has caused more problems than not for me in dating.. Relationships fine, but dating no.

 

I'll be honest, my last text didn't warrant a response but I don't know whether to stay incognito and let her reach out to me. I'd assume if she likes me still, she will, because I sent the last text.

[hercules22]

its social media likes doesnt mean much i sometimes like my female friends photos cause they look good or sometimes they put nice photos of them being somewhere cool

 

some of these females i dont even interact with in person

[lovephule]

Is this laptop girl?

[NuevoYorko]

Nuevo, that's true, but many do care. The OP of that thread. Someone admitted they wouldn't entertain the thought of a first date with a guy unless he was searchable online and they were able to extract enough info about him prior.

That's valid. My issue on the other thread was the beating the guy was taking for being one of the vast majority of people who do not share all personal information with randos no matter how attracted they are.

 

I go to great lengths to not be searchable online.

Confused. Haven't you been very adamant that if a person does not reveal all their personal info, photos, friends, dating history, etc. around first meeting they are a sneaky liar?

 

Like I said, I believe it's heavily age-dependent. Older people won't care as much.

My daughter is early 20's and she tells me that Facebook is for old people like me. She laughed when I talked to her about this thread.

 

Cookies, believe me when I tell you that I am not trying to change your mind. You do you. My issue is when you and a couple of others persist in casting the majority of folks who would not add a new dating prospect on social media as shady or that no one would maintain interest. Not the case as many here will tell you if you wanted to hear us. Mostly we value whatever privacy we have in this digital age and also, frankly, do not want people who we might not be interested in next week (or vice versa) inspecting our personal lives. It's not appropriate, and it's awkward to then delete them.

 

I agree that everybody should have the real name of someone they are going out with.

[PhilHarper]

Is the deeper question here that you're "liking" the pic of someone else apart from this girl who you might be interested in romantically? And you're wondering if continuing to cultivate that prospect is ok? Two dates in, probably fine. Further down, I'd be careful.

 

If it's not what you're getting at I apologize.

[heavenonearth]

So you've been on two dates with a guy but you're not exclusive. What if he likes another girl's picture on Facebook? Does that put you off and annoy you? Or do you see it that he possibly has other options?

 

I'd understand if you were exclusive/in a relationship, this would be a huge problem but for someone you've only gone on two dates with, it would be okay right? If you both met through OLD and you're both online on it, I figured it would be the same as you're still "looking".

 

My boyfriend likes photos of his friends all the time. Sometimes they are girls. I do the same. So what?