Why does he follow so many random women on instagram?

November 10, 2017

I've been seeing this guy for over a year now. We started off as friends. We were friends fr a few years before then until he said he liked me and then things progressed.

We still act like best friends, as in he flirts with me..and is forever taking the mickey out of me in a friendly way. But we don't speak to each other like couples do in thr sense of all the soppy speak. I.e baby I miss you and love you etc etc it's not like that.

We.see each other once a week or once every other week. and in between we do remain in contact. When we see each other everythings good we get on really well and don't argue.

Only yesterday he was joking around about us having kids he ws like make sure you name our kid ...... an then he said it'll be good he will be my security guard for you etc etc. and he's also mentioned marriage randmly aswell.

But one habit of his which really.annoys me is his need.to follow a random woman every other day on. instagram. I can see his followers increase every day and it's usually a woman he doesn't even know. Not even celebrities since that's normal I guess. And not being bigheaded but half these.women are either thr same as me looks wise or worse I honestly.don't see anything special in any of them. Fair enough we all find other people attractive but I wouldn't go an follow hundreds of other guys. in fact if it was the other way around would he really like that. I don't know if im over thinking it or if it really is a cause for concern but I just.don't see the need for it. he will log on to his instagram and his whole home feed will be full of women taking selfies. is it really necessary?

I even showed a friend pictures of these women and about one of them she said "eww shes ugly" but I didn't tell her about him following her. That's what I mean none of them are anythin special yet he's sittin there perving away.

I don't know about anyone else but I would want someone to be so into me that they focus only on me and not have images of hundreds of other women in their minds.

Having said that evrythng else is fine in the.sense that we get on and he will reply.to me straight away if I message and hl arrange when to meet me.next. But yeh it's just the instagram thing which gets me.thinking I suppose and also the fact that he's so overprotective of his phone. even if I innocently say can I look at your pics or your apps or play a game he just flinches and grabs his phone

November 10, 2017

Sounds just like a single guy who can... That's just what some guys like to do I guess. Maybe they're from OLD or something. Perhaps he wants to hide it from you so you don't know he has to resort to that xD

Edited November 10, 2017 by Cookiesandough

November 10, 2017

I've been seeing this guy for over a year now. We started off as friends. We were friends fr a few years before then until he said he liked me and then things progressed.

We still act like best friends, as in he flirts with me..and is forever taking the mickey out of me in a friendly way. But we don't speak to each other like couples do in thr sense of all the soppy speak. I.e baby I miss you and love you etc etc it's not like that.
We.see each other once a week or once every other week. and in between we do remain in contact. When we see each other everythings good we get on really well and don't argue.

Only yesterday he was joking around about us having kids he ws like make sure you name our kid ...... an then he said it'll be good he will be my security guard for you etc etc. and he's also mentioned marriage randmly aswell.

But one habit of his which really.annoys me is his need.to follow a random woman every other day on. instagram. I can see his followers increase every day and it's usually a woman he doesn't even know. Not even celebrities since that's normal I guess. And not being bigheaded but half these.women are either thr same as me looks wise or worse I honestly.don't see anything special in any of them. Fair enough we all find other people attractive but I wouldn't go an follow hundreds of other guys. in fact if it was the other way around would he really like that. I don't know if im over thinking it or if it really is a cause for concern but I just.don't see the need for it. he will log on to his instagram and his whole home feed will be full of women taking selfies. is it really necessary?
I even showed a friend pictures of these women and about one of them she said "eww shes ugly" but I didn't tell her about him following her. That's what I mean none of them are anythin special yet he's sittin there perving away.

I don't know about anyone else but I would want someone to be so into me that they focus only on me and not have images of hundreds of other women in their minds.

Having said that evrythng else is fine in the.sense that we get on and he will reply.to me straight away if I message and hl arrange when to meet me.next. But yeh it's just the instagram thing which gets me.thinking I suppose and also the fact that he's so overprotective of his phone. even if I innocently say can I look at your pics or your apps or play a game he just flinches and grabs his phone

Sounds like your just his buddy or best friend an that's about it. If you want more then you have to talk to him and see what's he wants. To be so into you takes time to earn. If he's not really into as more as friends then you have to accept it. Sounds like that's where he's going. Remember he can do whatever he wants. Don't try to control him as you wouldn't like to be controlled for be force to go beyond friendship. You have that with him but you want more. You don't want him to follow other women online. Talk to him if he doesn't see you as anything other than a buddy than that's it!

November 10, 2017

Sounds like your just his buddy or best friend an that's about it. If you want more then you have to talk to him and see what's he wants. To be so into you takes time to earn. If he's not really into as more as friends then you have to accept it. Sounds like that's where he's going. Remember he can do whatever he wants. Don't try to control him as you wouldn't like to be controlled for be force to go beyond friendship. You have that with him but you want more. You don't want him to follow other women online. Talk to him if he doesn't see you as anything other than a buddy than that's it!

I was perfectly fine being friends he's the one who ruined it. he told me a year ago he liked me and wanted more so I don't know how that amounts to being friends.I never go for someone who isn't into me, simple as.

so you could say we are dating. when we go out he does actually speak to me as his other half. not necessarily lovey dovey things, but I can just tell.

and randomly he wil mention marriage and kids

November 10, 2017

You're both single with no kids? How come after a year you only see each other once a week?

It doesn't sound like this relationship has progressed.

Are you exclusive? Does he call you his girlfriend?

November 10, 2017

This is a very petty issue to be upset over.

A lot of guys grow up with half naked women posters plastered on their bedroom walls.

His interest in instagram chicks has nothing to do with whether or not he's into you and it's no reason to get jealous.

I understand why you'd be jealous, but gain control over it, because your jealousy is irrarional and unfair to both of you.

Make your intentions with this man clear to him and pay no mind to who he follows on instagram.

November 10, 2017

This is a very petty issue to be upset over.

A lot of guys grow up with half naked women posters plastered on their bedroom walls.

His interest in instagram chicks has nothing to do with whether or not he's into you and it's no reason to get jealous.

I understand why you'd be jealous, but gain control over it, because your jealousy is irrarional and unfair to both of you.

Make your intentions with this man clear to him and pay no mind to who he follows on instagram.

I don't know if I already said but if it's celebrities it's fine or unattainable instagram models, if it's women who are local and.easy access. to him then I don't understand it. how is it irrational when over the years it's..accumulqted to over a hundred.women? that's normal is itt lol. That's an uncontrollable number. and actually evry guy says oh yeh that's normal but then if the tables were turned.and the.girl they were seeing followed hundreds of attractive.guys would they be cool with ittt. doubt it.

and even though I know I'm attractive and people.even say so all the time and I get people looking at me it stil gives me the thoughts of am I not good enough that he has.to go and.do that

November 10, 2017

You're both single with no kids? How come after a year you only see each other once a week?

It doesn't sound like this relationship has progressed.

Are you exclusive? Does he call you his girlfriend?

because I like to keep it that way. well when we see each other it's as if nothings changed

November 10, 2017

Because he evidently finds them attractive. It's the behaviour of a young, single dude who likes to look at lots of women.

Are you really okay not being his girlfriend after a year of seeing each other? It doesn't sound like it, based on your description.

Do you know if he's seeing or communicating with any of these women too?

November 10, 2017

Because he evidently finds them attractive. It's the behaviour of a young, single dude who likes to look at lots of women.

Are you really okay not being his girlfriend after a year of seeing each other? It doesn't sound like it, based on your description.

Do you know if he's seeing or communicating with any of these women too?

to be honest the way he speaks to me it's as if I am. I can't explain it all here. for example he says he's pretty sure his ex wants to take my place. he said it as a joke but obviously if he didn't see me like that why say she wants to take my place

I cnt b sure if he is or he isn't. if he was I wouldn't be surprised I mean there's plenty to choose from. as ugly as all of them are.

but with regards to me if I stop messaging him he notices and he will make.comments about it such as why dnot I make time for him and why do I stop contacting him all of a sudden

November 10, 2017

Nevermind not being bf/gf after a year...Are you sure you two have been even dating? Have you kissed?

November 10, 2017

Nevermind not being bf/gf after a year...Are you sure you two have been even dating? Have you kissed?

II swear I mentioned that it is physical. we.met two days ago and he was already planning where we would go next. so yeh I would say we are dating

November 10, 2017

Nevermind not being bf/gf after a year...Are you sure you two have been even dating? Have you kissed?

Exactly. If you have a hard time figuring out what you are then so will he. You're either an exclusive couple or not and you only know that by TALKING about it.

Until then he can do what he wants including perving mediocre woman online.

That being said, if you do finally decide to call this a full blown relationship, I would be a bit suspicious by his overprotectiveness of his phone. People who often do this have something to hide however big or small. I will tell you that social media almost always wreaks havoc on relationships. Tread carefully.

November 10, 2017

Probably for the same reason I follow various artists, designers, musicians and writers: because their posts intrigue me and that's it. How they look doesn't matter to me--it's what they're saying or what they're posting that I'm there for. And yes, I do like most of what they post--doesn't mean I want to sleep with them.

he does actually speak to me as his other half. not necessarily lovey dovey things

Being unable to talk lovey dovey is a huge sign that he's not willing to step that far into anything with you.

This guy is good being your bud--he's not into being your boyfriend because he's not acting like it. One would think if he wanted it to be more, he'd spend way more that once a week in your presence. I think that this relationship means more to you than it does to him.

Him talking about kids and marriage is meaningless when he's not behaving like someone capable of the rigors of relationship.

Edited November 10, 2017 by kendahke

November 10, 2017

Some guys are lurkers like looking at women and crap, some have other interests and could care less. Date guys that could care less. You already don't like this about him so why continue to see him? move on.

November 10, 2017

Some guys are lurkers like looking at women and crap, some have other interests and could care less. Date guys that could care less. You already don't like this about him so why continue to see him? move on.

Yes.

Frankly, I think there is something emotionally up with this guy. Why in the world 'follow' them? So, each time something changes on their profiles he gets an alert? So he continue being the 'creepy' voyeur that he seems to be. I don't find his behavior normal at all.

I would keep a safe distance from anyone who behaves like this.

November 10, 2017

Probably for the same reason I follow various artists, designers, musicians and writers: because their posts intrigue me and that's it. How they look doesn't matter to me--it's what they're saying or what they're posting that I'm there for. And yes, I do like most of what they post--doesn't mean I want to sleep with them.

Being unable to talk lovey dovey is a huge sign that he's not willing to step that far into anything with you.

This guy is good being your bud--he's not into being your boyfriend because he's not acting like it. One would think if he wanted it to be more, he'd spend way more that once a week in your presence. I think that this relationship means more to you than it does to him.

Him talking about kids and marriage is meaningless when he's not behaving like someone capable of the rigors of relationship.

following famous people or people who have talent is totally different to what he does. These women have no talent not even looks in my opinion, he just follows them for eye candy. obviously when I first noticed how many people he followed I ws storied but since we were friends then I didn't think of itt too much but after he decided to change that and say he liked me etc after tht my expectations changed. now lookig back I would have been happy just hanging out with him without anything kphysocal it's him tht started it all.

November 10, 2017

Yes.

Frankly, I think there is something emotionally up with this guy. Why in the world 'follow' them? So, each time something changes on their profiles he gets an alert? So he continue being the 'creepy' voyeur that he seems to be. I don't find his behavior normal at all.

I would keep a safe distance from anyone who behaves like this.

basiclly he jst gets to see these women posing away since that's all thyre really good at. its just photos of.themselves. according to some other guy on here it's quite normal for that. but I don't care to look at random pics of the opposite sex ever it's just not me.

me n him started off as.friends and I guess that's why I didn't notice.anything. but it's a bit extreme in his case. Lik I would.accept a few women but hundreds is definitely pushing it

November 10, 2017

Yes.

Frankly, I think there is something emotionally up with this guy. Why in the world 'follow' them? So, each time something changes on their profiles he gets an alert? So he continue being the 'creepy' voyeur that he seems to be. I don't find his behavior normal at all.

I would keep a safe distance from anyone who behaves like this.

by emotionally do you mean he's mental lol

November 10, 2017

Exactly. If you have a hard time figuring out what you are then so will he. You're either an exclusive couple or not and you only know that by TALKING about it.

Until then he can do what he wants including perving mediocre woman online.

That being said, if you do finally decide to call this a full blown relationship, I would be a bit suspicious by his overprotectiveness of his phone. People who often do this have something to hide however big or small. I will tell you that social media almost always wreaks havoc on relationships. Tread carefully.

but the problem is when he talks to me it's aa if we are going out and that's how he sees me. otherwisd he wouldn't hav made a joke.about how his ex girlfriendc wants to take my place

November 11, 2017

to be honest the way he speaks to me it's as if I am. I can't explain it all here. for example he says he's pretty sure his ex wants to take my place. he said it as a joke but obviously if he didn't see me like that why say she wants to take my place

I cnt b sure if he is or he isn't. if he was I wouldn't be surprised I mean there's plenty to choose from. as ugly as all of them are.

but with regards to me if I stop messaging him he notices and he will make.comments about it such as why dnot I make time for him and why do I stop contacting him all of a sudden

That's not exactly evidence he considers you his girlfriend, OP. It's a fairly weak example, to be honest. He could have said it to try to make you jealous, or make himself seem desirable (in a boneheaded way) Proof of relaitonship status, though? I have to say it's not.

Does he introduce you as his girlfriend to other people? Do you attend family events together? Do you celebrate birthdays or holidays together?

November 11, 2017

following famous people or people who have talent is totally different to what he does.

No it's not, no matter how much you try to convince yourself of it. Both instances are people who still are strangers. Just because someone has talent or is the public eye doesn't make them a close friend just because they have an account on Instagram. They do/say something that is of enough interest where it elicits a confirmation from others. That's it.

These women have no talent not even looks in my opinion, he just follows them for eye candy.

Exactly--and like bellybuttons, everyone's got one.

His opinion is that they have something intriguing enough to weigh in and just like you, he is just as entitled to his opinion as you are; and in his case, his opinion is going to win out because he's going to continue to do what he's doing because he doesn't view you as someone to put that aside for. If he did, that would have happened long before now and this thread wouldn't be here.

obviously when I first noticed how many people he followed I ws storied but since we were friends then I didn't think of itt too much but after he decided to change that and say he liked me etc after tht my expectations changed. now lookig back I would have been happy just hanging out with him without anything kphysocal it's him tht started it all.

And it's you who can put a stop to this and find someone else who has grown up past that.

He's not going to change what he is doing because you're mad. All he will do is hide his tracks better to keep the peace. That is "what is"; "what you wished would be" isn't even entering into this as far as he's concerned.

November 11, 2017

I was perfectly fine being friends he's the one who ruined it. he told me a year ago he liked me and wanted more so I don't know how that amounts to being friends.I never go for someone who isn't into me, simple as.

so you could say we are dating. when we go out he does actually speak to me as his other half. not necessarily lovey dovey things, but I can just tell.

and randomly he wil mention marriage and kids

Well if that's the case what do you want now? Marriage and kids or just keep on doing the same thing daily..

November 11, 2017

That's not exactly evidence he considers you his girlfriend, OP. It's a fairly weak example, to be honest. He could have said it to try to make you jealous, or make himself seem desirable (in a boneheaded way) Proof of relaitonship status, though? I have to say it's not.

Does he introduce you as his girlfriend to other people? Do you attend family events together? Do you celebrate birthdays or holidays together?

we lpretty much do evryting together. birthdays holidays yes. maybe you're right maybe he ws trying to make himself seem.desirable. so why does he keep me in his life then? because when I do stop talking to hin he will start messaging me and take it very personally. like last time i stopped messaging him because I wss.mad, he didn't know I was mad I jst said im busy and sent home one word answers. He was making comments like oh now u decide to be busy. now you decide u don't wanna talk to me. comments like thatn the whole time

November 11, 2017

Well if that's the case what do you want now? Marriage and kids or just keep on doing the same thing daily..

I do want marriage eventually yes

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Why does he follow so many random women on instagram?

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