Skipping a grade?

[noelle303]

Well, my daughter was tested last month and she scored in the 96 percentile.

 

The school psychologist also tested her on social skills and intelligence and she also ranked pretty high there. She believes that she will have no problems adapting and will benefit greatly - both academically and socially from being around children more on her level.

 

Everyone in school highly recommends that she accelarates as well as attends some of their gifted programs.

 

After everything I believe that it would truly be best for her. Her dad still disagrees, so now I'm on the fence - technically I have sole legal custody and don't need his permission for this. However, would it be right to make a decision that he strongly opposes?

 

I just don't know how I can convince him?

[d0nnivain]

Let her convince him, after the fact by her successes.

 

Give your child the freedom to blossom. All the professionals are saying yes. Your EX's concerned are outweighed by all the positives. Once he sees how well she's doing he'll come around. Don't rub his nose in it but do give her the chance to succeed.

[justwhoiam]

I could have skipped one year, but my mother thought it was better to be with children my age. She didn't want me to jump the gun.

I was generally at the top of the class for at least 8 years. That helped shape my confidence, my character and my personality. I'm not sure things would have evolved the same, had I skipped one year.

 

Same thing occured to my son. He could skip one year. His personality seemed to match mine in so many ways. He's very sensitive and showing several genius traits. In the end, we (husband and I) decided it was better for him to be with his peers. I don't regret my decision, as I see him growing up. He just hit puberty, and it's not an easy stage. It's better if you experience that surrounded by other kids your age. You never know how being left out because you're not the right age - as others pointed out - can play out for an individual.

 

As parents, we should care about our children's education as much as their social and emotional development.

 

On the other hand, my son has a girl who skipped one year in his class. Over time, it became apparent that it didn't play out to her own advantage. She found herself striving in some subjects, especially in 5th and 6th grade. I expect the gap to feel greater when she'll get into high school. She's a very shy girl. I guess she felt a bit isolated too, for a while, after moving from another school.

[noelle303]

I could have skipped one year, but my mother thought it was better to be with children my age. She didn't want me to jump the gun.

I was generally at the top of the class for at least 8 years. That helped shape my confidence, my character and my personality. I'm not sure things would have evolved the same, had I skipped one year.

 

Same thing occured to my son. He could skip one year. His personality seemed to match mine in so many ways. He's very sensitive and showing several genius traits. In the end, we (husband and I) decided it was better for him to be with his peers. I don't regret my decision, as I see him growing up. He just hit puberty, and it's not an easy stage. It's better if you experience that surrounded by other kids your age. You never know how being left out because you're not the right age - as others pointed out - can play out for an individual.

 

As parents, we should care about our children's education as much as their social and emotional development.

 

On the other hand, my son has a girl who skipped one year in his class. Over time, it became apparent that it didn't play out to her own advantage. She found herself striving in some subjects, especially in 5th and 6th grade. I expect the gap to feel greater when she'll get into high school. She's a very shy girl. I guess she felt a bit isolated too, for a while, after moving from another school.

 

You see, my daughter's not shy at all. The school psychologist also commented on her having a very healthy dose of confidence.

 

I'm worried that this confidence is going to turn into arrogance if she grows up being better than other kids in her class without having to do much work. I want her to have to work hard and to sometimes fail and see that it's all part of the normal human experience.

 

I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to try and talk to her dad some more about it, but if he still doesn't agree I'm going to make the decision on my own and hope for the best.

[preraph]

I was given the opportunity to skip fifth grade, but I opted not to. For one thing, in my case, I was already nearly a year younger than everyone else in my grade because of where my birthday falls. For another, I really was naive and not very mature. I think my teacher recommended me for it solely because she liked me (and I her) and probably mistook my precociousness (I told her her hair was like "some old movie star," which was Veronica Lake). Also, though I was an algebra whiz that year in an experimental math class, doing long equations for the principal, etc. But my mom didn't know what to make of it and so I made up my mind for her. I think I was right in my case. I was an extreme tomboy and by middle school, a bit of a misfit, not developing as fast chest-wise, behind everyone in getting first bra, shaving legs. I guess all that would have been even worse if I'd skipped. But you never know. I mean, the road not taken, you always wonder. Maybe I wouldn't have gone through bullying in another class other than the one I was in. Who knows.

 

Also, it would have put me entering college at 16 instead of 17, and this was right after the Kent State debacle and I was a hippie from 16 on, so would I have been mature enough to handle the shark-infested waters if I had been a year younger? Plus everyone drank, even in high school. I wouldn't have even been able to get into clubs and stuff. It was 18 back then.

 

Lots to consider.

Edited February 7, 2018 by preraph

[Ronni_W]

I'm scared she'll resent me if I take her out of an environment where she's happy and has a ton of friends.

Well...that will depend. Does she come across now as having a resentful personality?

 

My personal story is that I was skipped from Grade 2 to 4, and moved to a new country at age 15; without any consultation with me. (I woulda had my own opinions on both, to be sure. .) Separate to that, I just recently found out that, as a youngster, my mom was "scared that I would be jealous" of my new sibling. But I'm not a jealous person at all; just wasn't born that way...so it was her own stuff that she projected onto me, which did cause harm to my psyche for a few decades, until I finally realized that I needed some professional assistance to properly deal with the effects.

But no...I do not resent her for the grade-skipping and country-moving. I recognize the good intentions behind that.

 

I guess...whatever decision you do make on your daughter's behalf, as long as you can clearly enunciate your thoughts and reasons (also to her, later on, if she'll need you to do that), and you know that they are the very best decisions that you know to make right now, with only her best interests in heart and mind, then you and your daughter will be okay at the end of it all. Based on my personal experience.

 

Practically speaking, as already suggested, is there some way that she might be allowed to 'try out' participating, in an academic classroom setting, with the next-level students? It is more important for her to get a feel for that, and feel comfortable with it, but may also help to alleviate your own reservations and concerns regarding her abilities in this area.

 

Helping her Dad recognize this as an opportunity for her, is a different kettle of fish, unfortunately. Again, though, it could be a matter of asking him (helping him) to see her on her own merits and strengths, rather than through a filter of his fears.

 

Wishing you and your daughter and her dad only the very best in life.

[noelle303]

It's funny you'd say that because it's true that my worries have been for nothing. She's actually excited about this prospect, she knows some of the older kids already and she's happy that she gets to go to the same class as them because she loves hearing about stuff they do.

 

So while I was sitting there biting my nails about her making friends among the older kids, she already made friends and invited a bunch of her future classmates, as well as her current classmates to her birthday party next month. Soo yeah...love throwing huge birthday parties for even more kids than I originally thought.:rolleyes: