Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 OP, I think one thing you have to keep in mind is that if you don't feel like you can sit down and have a face to face conversation about these issue with your boyfrien, and instead you turn to an internet forum to try to figure it out, it may not be the relationship for you. I have talked to him about it and I guess I'll see what comes out of it (I brought this issue up a short while ago). I'm def reanalyzing the situation, I don't want to be stuck where I'm unhappy or feel unloved. Thing is I want to put this issue to rest and idk how to go about that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 This guy is barely lifting a finger to text and getting free chick delivery on the weekend. Are you taking the city bus? Those are sketchy af where I am at even in the day...I can only guess how safe it would be at night for a woman Texting has def gotten better. I talked to him about it, he changed a little, then I felt neglected again. I felt bad doing this, but I started copying his behavior and he def noticed when I took more then a couple hours to answer the texts. The city buses aren't all that bad and I have been taking them for awhile. More like the principle of me being easy for him. He did switch w a co worker to spend time w/me before he left. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 I have talked to him about it and I guess I'll see what comes out of it (I brought this issue up a short while ago). I'm def reanalyzing the situation' date=' I don't want to be stuck where I'm unhappy or feel unloved. Thing is I want to put this issue to rest and idk how to go about that.[/quote'] I may be a bit old fashioned, but I really think the man needs to put in MORE effort, logistically speaking, than the woman in a situation like this. Chivalry is not dead, in my book. If you feel differently, by all means keep tolerating what he's doing. If not, I bet you can find a better man <3. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 I may be a bit old fashioned, but I really think the man needs to put in MORE effort, logistically speaking, than the woman in a situation like this. Chivalry is not dead, in my book. If you feel differently, by all means keep tolerating what he's doing. If not, I bet you can find a better man <3. I am old fashioned as well and I know chivalry isn't dead. I fell for him because he has never tried to take advantage of me even on our 1st date where I got intoxicated. I really respect him for that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 What is his excuse for not driving you home? Has he even offered? I feel like you deserve better treatment. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 That's not respectable. Thta's just basic human decency. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 4, 2017 Author Share Posted November 4, 2017 That's not respectable. Thta's just basic human decency. I know, but not many guys would do that though. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted November 4, 2017 Share Posted November 4, 2017 sounds like youre associating w the wrong guys. I understand you have fallen for him and you are a giving person in a rship but its a thin line to where you are getting taken advantage of. I hope he steps up Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 if he has these issues about his ex he isnt ready to be in a committed relationship with someone else.....first its rides ...the maybe you leave the cap off the toothpaste like his ex and that drove him mad .......its a shame he had this ex walk all over him....but now....he is turning tables.....and putting her bad behavior onto you and comparing you is highly likely.....not a new relationship you are in ...sorry...you are an embodiment of his ex...an extension...and he needs to start with you fresh ...no comparison no blame.....you are you ...his ex is past.....should stay that way...or you are both still in a relationship with her...where she is affecting actions and causing feelings to be hurt...yours mainly...personally i would balk at going out with a guy who was happy to watch me catch a bus home after visiting him..for my own personal safety..i would go the taxi route...or uber...and i would decline further visits....in other words...its bye.... because i would explain gently you arent over your ex and im not going through a relationship where your ex is affecting your decisions and thoughts in regards to me....and if he was a basically nice guy i would add...call me when you are over her and you can see me for who i am ill see you again..........your bf needs to recognize you are not his ex..........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 5, 2017 Author Share Posted November 5, 2017 if he has these issues about his ex he isnt ready to be in a committed relationship with someone else.....first its rides ...the maybe you leave the cap off the toothpaste like his ex and that drove him mad .......its a shame he had this ex walk all over him....but now....he is turning tables.....and putting her bad behavior onto you and comparing you is highly likely.....not a new relationship you are in ...sorry...you are an embodiment of his ex...an extension...and he needs to start with you fresh ...no comparison no blame.....you are you ...his ex is past.....should stay that way...or you are both still in a relationship with her...where she is affecting actions and causing feelings to be hurt...yours mainly...personally i would balk at going out with a guy who was happy to watch me catch a bus home after visiting him..for my own personal safety..i would go the taxi route...or uber...and i would decline further visits....in other words...its bye.... because i would explain gently you arent over your ex and im not going through a relationship where your ex is affecting your decisions and thoughts in regards to me....and if he was a basically nice guy i would add...call me when you are over her and you can see me for who i am ill see you again..........your bf needs to recognize you are not his ex..........deb I def told him that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 5, 2017 Author Share Posted November 5, 2017 sounds like youre associating w the wrong guys. I understand you have fallen for him and you are a giving person in a rship but its a thin line to where you are getting taken advantage of. I hope he steps up I hope so too. Link to post Share on other sites
LadybugLucy Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 His actions are symptomatic of controlling behavior. He wants you to go to him. He’s not compromising by offering to go pick you up and take you out or even drive you back home. The more you give in to his requests, the more demands he will begin to place on you. If he truly wants to see you, he will find a way. Tell him that the bus is not always safe, so you would like for him to come to you or at least drive you home. Link to post Share on other sites
Author I'veseenbetterlol Posted November 5, 2017 Author Share Posted November 5, 2017 His actions are symptomatic of controlling behavior. He wants you to go to him. He’s not compromising by offering to go pick you up and take you out or even drive you back home. The more you give in to his requests, the more demands he will begin to place on you. If he truly wants to see you, he will find a way. Tell him that the bus is not always safe, so you would like for him to come to you or at least drive you home. We have reached a compromise, he will give me rides once in awhile and when we go places he comes and picks me up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted November 5, 2017 Share Posted November 5, 2017 (edited) I know' date=' but not many guys would do that though.[/quote'] EVERY man I know would not take advantage of a woman while she's intoxicated and that includes one of my ex who was a narcisist jerk of the worse kind. You're reasoning is the same as saying he's a good man because he never been to jail. How old you are? How long is the ride by car? Why don't you have your own car? Get someone that knows about car and get yourself an $800 car and get yourself some independance. Edited November 5, 2017 by Gaeta 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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