Who here has gotten back together with an ex? Did it work or not work?

[Purepony]

I’ve heard many successful stories about getting back together and making it work so I really wanted to be one myself but anyways

 

We broke up because I cheated, I made my choice and my mistake but she didn’t care and I worked on myself after the break up we’ll flash forward we started talking after 6 months and got back together for another 2-3 months ...

 

It was going well but she wouldn’t get over the cheating so I got tired of her throwing it at me and dangling it in front of me for no reason that I called it quits. It’s been almost three weeks and I have. Not spoken to her in any way... no communication from her to me or me to her and honestly I’ve never felt better after a break up.

 

The first time it was a horrible mess but now I feel contented and look forward to the future

[Purepony]

There is hope and every situation is different but at the end of the day it does take two people to make it work and many of these people refuse to put the work in. Anyone can make a relationship work if they really put the effort and I think that’s one of the main points we all forget.

 

If you can’t take theraphy o always recommend it

[central]

We split after dating for a brief time, because the circumstances weren't good to continue. Those circumstances changed about 6 months later, and while we still had some obstacles to overcome (distance, mainly), we got back together and solved the problems. We have been happily together ever since, for over 17 years.

[Highndry]

Well all these things are subjective Jimmy- in the way that two people can share the same experience, but then when you ask them describe what happened last week, they will often have very different interpretations of events.

 

After the madness was over, and we were discussing wtf had happened, or arguing, she swore that she had announced she had split up with me, and this was technicallly 'not cheating.'

 

I, on the other hand, do not recall any announcement of us having actually split up. We lived together... we had an argument maybe, maybe she said 'youre dumped' or something, but I dont remember- it was 12 years a ago, and because she continued to live with me, cook my dinner, and yes sleeep with me, I thought it was a minor domestic squabble which had blown over.

 

Until she started acting werid, and after about 2 months I discovered she was' seeing' this guy. She denied it for about 2 weeks, then eventually admitted it, and finally after about 3 months in total, dumped him.

 

To this day, she would probably say we had split up. I disagree- I see it as an affair which I forgave because of various other life events which had bound us very closely. I loved her basically. Then we were pretty good together for a further 12 years. More than 'pretty good' I'm still on Loveshack, still cut up, because I still got the feeling what we had was a 'once in a lifetime.' She's not an easy partner to lose.

 

And then 'Blindsided' is a term used on Loveshack for when a long term love, suddenly and with no explanation, dumps you with a sucker punch that you just did not see coming.

 

Often, in these cases, someone 'new' turns about 4-6 weeks later. Only this persons not so new... theyre the reason for, and cause of the split.

 

Given my history with my ex, its easy to see that as being an accurate explanation of her actions. But who knows? Human beings are mysterious. And women are mental. With Apologies to the ladies of loveshack.

 

I despise these kind of people. She sounds just like my ex, who I came to find out is a serial liar, cheater and recycler of relationships. She constantly lamented the demise of her marriage, talking about how perfect it was and that she didn't know what she had until it was gone. He kicked her to the curb for cheating and refused to ever talk to her again. Good man.

 

I was leery of entering a relationship with such a woman, but she said all the right things, telling me she learned her lesson, etc. BS. She is a sneaky woman who is always on her computer and meeting men because that's the only thing that can feed her low self-esteem. It's sad, really. She ruined not only a very long marriage, but a relationship with me as well, and I am sure she will never, ever find a better partner than what she had in me or her ex-husband.

[raditz]

Hello guys,

 

Who here has gotten back together with an ex. Why did you break up in the first place. Did it work out the second time? Not work out? Why?

 

I'm curious and interested to hear everyone's story. I think all of us collaberating on a thread and sharing experiences may help us all with gaining insight, wisdom and perspective.

 

Lets hear it.

 

I did and everyday i feel that last sliver in my heart, i probably looked pathetic to alot of people" and i lost alot of friends, things have nevet fully healed and she has never treated me the same, we still argue 4 years later and the things i do that were once cute now make her explode with anger, its like my gf became bipolar

 

Heres my story; my first gf of 5 years dumped me one day, we had a baby together , i chased her for about 8 monhs extremley heart broken , see it came to a shock that she did this suddenly right after our vacation. Two weeks later i found out she was dating an aquatence, made me even more heart broke , her reason for breaking up was that she wanted to see what else was out there. She dated him for 2 months then got married and pregnant to another man 2 months after that, turned hateful and evil against me n took a 5 year court custody battle , litlery tried to wipe me out completley, but thats another story on its own.

 

So after being completley destroyed and i lost alot of wieght , 8 months later i messaged a girl on facebookf. Me and her got along great i nevet partied or drank ever before my life crashed, we partied alot and drank n started doing drugs. Everyday became a party and we were crazy about eachother , i didnt officially ask her out till 5 months in.

 

Around the year and a half mark things got more serious. Partying n drugs slowed down. And we were still crazy about eachother n had fun. I helped her get her schooling and she got a job n we were attached at the hip. Her family loved me and things started getting better. We were finally going up or so i thought

 

Around year 2.9 it was about a month before our 3 year anaversay, she started acting strange, her texts became one word replies, and she would take off on friday n i couldnt get a hold of her till monday. Her attitude changed n she started getting mad at me for everything. Id take her out for lunch n we would sit there n shed be on her cell phone n id ask if i could try a bite of her food, she would explode n storm out of the restraunt n go running to a cab. Every little thing she would get mad.

 

I found out a few weeks later that she was seeing a guy at work. She dumped n the next day was a picture of her and the new guy on her fb.

 

She became rude and mentally abused me for 5 months , she would shoot me a text saying she missed me n then when i replied i didnt her from her till the next weekend. She said i didnt do anything but then she made excuses and said rank mean stuff just to make me seem like the bad guy.

 

I could keep going on but anyways after all the **** she put me through i still took her back.

 

I missed out on oportunitis to be with some real women.

 

My gf become bipolar and lashes out from time to time. And the past still gets brought up, i dont even bring it up, she does and uses that as her goto to blame and say thats why we argue. Is because im supposofly not over it.

 

When she was actually sorry at one point. She said this is why she left me. She said that i treated her so good. That i was the nicest to her. And things became boring and serious, she got scared and seeing her brothers and sisters living life she felt like she was trapped in a relationship, i asked why she treated me so bad and she said she was trying to push me away and when she came down off of drugs is when she would message me. She says she regets what she did everyday.

 

But i can tell now that she regrets getting back together. Its strange tho, she has a problem with everyone now her mom my mom me my daughter her brother her sister. Its like she just hates everyone,

 

I dont know alli can say is sometimes you get dumped n sometimes one person loves more than the other.

 

My gf truly did make a mistake, i never did her wrong. But keep in mind. I missed out on alot more life trying to make it work, n i still dont know if it ever will. If i could go back to the day whete she texted me"im sorry,im withh ryan now" i would half snapped my phone in to two and never talked to her again. The only reason why im with her still is because i have a problem with letting go of something that was once there,

 

Pathetic right? Maybe..

[Beachead]

I did and everyday i feel that last sliver in my heart, i probably looked pathetic to alot of people" and i lost alot of friends, things have nevet fully healed and she has never treated me the same, we still argue 4 years later and the things i do that were once cute now make her explode with anger, its like my gf became bipolar

 

Heres my story; my first gf of 5 years dumped me one day, we had a baby together , i chased her for about 8 monhs extremley heart broken , see it came to a shock that she did this suddenly right after our vacation. Two weeks later i found out she was dating an aquatence, made me even more heart broke , her reason for breaking up was that she wanted to see what else was out there. She dated him for 2 months then got married and pregnant to another man 2 months after that, turned hateful and evil against me n took a 5 year court custody battle , litlery tried to wipe me out completley, but thats another story on its own.

 

So after being completley destroyed and i lost alot of wieght , 8 months later i messaged a girl on facebookf. Me and her got along great i nevet partied or drank ever before my life crashed, we partied alot and drank n started doing drugs. Everyday became a party and we were crazy about eachother , i didnt officially ask her out till 5 months in.

 

Around the year and a half mark things got more serious. Partying n drugs slowed down. And we were still crazy about eachother n had fun. I helped her get her schooling and she got a job n we were attached at the hip. Her family loved me and things started getting better. We were finally going up or so i thought

 

Around year 2.9 it was about a month before our 3 year anaversay, she started acting strange, her texts became one word replies, and she would take off on friday n i couldnt get a hold of her till monday. Her attitude changed n she started getting mad at me for everything. Id take her out for lunch n we would sit there n shed be on her cell phone n id ask if i could try a bite of her food, she would explode n storm out of the restraunt n go running to a cab. Every little thing she would get mad.

 

I found out a few weeks later that she was seeing a guy at work. She dumped n the next day was a picture of her and the new guy on her fb.

 

She became rude and mentally abused me for 5 months , she would shoot me a text saying she missed me n then when i replied i didnt her from her till the next weekend. She said i didnt do anything but then she made excuses and said rank mean stuff just to make me seem like the bad guy.

 

I could keep going on but anyways after all the **** she put me through i still took her back.

 

I missed out on oportunitis to be with some real women.

 

My gf become bipolar and lashes out from time to time. And the past still gets brought up, i dont even bring it up, she does and uses that as her goto to blame and say thats why we argue. Is because im supposofly not over it.

 

When she was actually sorry at one point. She said this is why she left me. She said that i treated her so good. That i was the nicest to her. And things became boring and serious, she got scared and seeing her brothers and sisters living life she felt like she was trapped in a relationship, i asked why she treated me so bad and she said she was trying to push me away and when she came down off of drugs is when she would message me. She says she regets what she did everyday.

 

But i can tell now that she regrets getting back together. Its strange tho, she has a problem with everyone now her mom my mom me my daughter her brother her sister. Its like she just hates everyone,

 

I dont know alli can say is sometimes you get dumped n sometimes one person loves more than the other.

 

My gf truly did make a mistake, i never did her wrong. But keep in mind. I missed out on alot more life trying to make it work, n i still dont know if it ever will. If i could go back to the day whete she texted me"im sorry,im withh ryan now" i would half snapped my phone in to two and never talked to her again. The only reason why im with her still is because i have a problem with letting go of something that was once there,

 

Pathetic right? Maybe..

 

I'm sorry to hear the suffering you went through Raditz.

 

Not Pathetic. You just know how to love a person.

 

I often find the way people treat us is a strong reflection of what they're going through at the moment in their life and has very little to do with who we are are the way we are treating them (If we've given our best).

Edited November 5, 2017 by Beachead

[Beachead]

Guys, keep it coming. Let loose.

[Ajax]

I got dumped by a woman I'd been dating for about six months and was absolutely in love with, saying she didn't know how she felt and didn't know what she wanted.

 

I was crushed, but since it wasn't my first rodeo, I went No Contact and started moving on.

 

About a month later she sent me a message apologizing and said she missed me, but still didn't know what she wanted. I told her I had been hurt, but that I was trying to move forward and that her reaching out wasn't helping matters. I asked her not to contact me again.

 

She did anyway, about a month after that, saying she made a mistake and wanted to try again.

 

That was two years ago. I'm marrying her next Saturday.

[Beachead]

I got dumped by a woman I'd been dating for about six months and was absolutely in love with, saying she didn't know how she felt and didn't know what she wanted.

 

I was crushed, but since it wasn't my first rodeo, I went No Contact and started moving on.

 

About a month later she sent me a message apologizing and said she missed me, but still didn't know what she wanted. I told her I had been hurt, but that I was trying to move forward and that her reaching out wasn't helping matters. I asked her not to contact me again.

 

She did anyway, about a month after that, saying she made a mistake and wanted to try again.

 

That was two years ago. I'm marrying her next Saturday.

 

Wow. That ending took me by surprise. I guess I've witnessed so much failure that that's the direction I expect it to go. Incredible.

[Art_Critic]

That was two years ago. I'm marrying her next Saturday.

 

Dude.. I didn't see that coming...Congrats...

 

[Beachead]

Ajax, I think what happened to you is really what most of us hope for during our break ups. Congrats.

[Chilli]

ex w and l never split once in 19 yrs, but when we did , that was it.

 

Where as gf and l have split 4 times in 18mths, or was that 5 , dunno, but we got back together all the time, go figure.

It never worked out though. If she could acknowledge some things and make some changes, it could , would , beautiful, but she doesn't seem to be capable of that part, so nope, it's not gonna work out.

[trustyourself]

Where as gf and l have split 4 times in 18mths, or was that 5 , dunno, but we got back together all the time, go figure.

It never worked out though. If she could acknowledge some things and make some changes, it could , would , beautiful, but she doesn't seem to be capable of that part, so nope, it's not gonna work out.

 

I swear we were dating the same person.

 

I sometimes still hold out hope that she will grow up and work on herself. But sadly I dont think its to be.

 

She got hold of me after 4 months NC last week. Wanted to give me something. I am in a better place, so I agreed as I was curious.

 

Spent two hours together, and she was all over me, touchy feely, telling me I smell good, then proceeded to tell me that she has spent a lot of time working on herself and apologized and explained why it all went wrong, and what she is doing to fix herself. I told her it didnt matter as her family does not approve. She tells me that they would be fine as long as they saw her happy?!!

 

She ended up kissing me as I was leaving, and played it off with an 'oops! that just happened'

 

Chemistry is definitely still there. She texted me after asking if I saw a future with her. I told her i used to..

 

Anyway, she then started texting me this last week with good morning texts and then throughout the day.

 

I have no expectations, and I am sure she is just fishing. She would have to show she has changed and put in the work if there is to be a possibility.

 

Do I have hope? Hmmm, I love her very much, and wish we could work it out. NOt holding my breath though.

 

Maybe i will be updating this thread in 6 months. Or maybe I wont!

[Beachead]

I swear we were dating the same person.

 

I sometimes still hold out hope that she will grow up and work on herself. But sadly I dont think its to be.

 

She got hold of me after 4 months NC last week. Wanted to give me something. I am in a better place, so I agreed as I was curious.

 

Spent two hours together, and she was all over me, touchy feely, telling me I smell good, then proceeded to tell me that she has spent a lot of time working on herself and apologized and explained why it all went wrong, and what she is doing to fix herself. I told her it didnt matter as her family does not approve. She tells me that they would be fine as long as they saw her happy?!!

 

She ended up kissing me as I was leaving, and played it off with an 'oops! that just happened'

 

Chemistry is definitely still there. She texted me after asking if I saw a future with her. I told her i used to..

 

Anyway, she then started texting me this last week with good morning texts and then throughout the day.

 

I have no expectations, and I am sure she is just fishing. She would have to show she has changed and put in the work if there is to be a possibility.

 

Do I have hope? Hmmm, I love her very much, and wish we could work it out. NOt holding my breath though.

 

Maybe i will be updating this thread in 6 months. Or maybe I wont!

 

Hopefully this isn't her screwing with you and we can have another success story. Let us know how it went.