act00 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 You're an adult and an independent, professional woman. You screwed up basic time management prior to the date by not ensuring you had something to eat before leaving. A couple of things could have happened - one, you clarified if it was just a movie or would you be eating too; two - if just a movie, made sure you got something to eat prior. If it were to include dinner after the movie, have something light to eat before leaving the house. Next, rather than suggesting you were hungry after the movie (even before), you just sat there in silence waiting for him to know. How is he supposed to know? He likely made sure he had something to eat beforehand. You brought it up in passing on the way home. Hints don't work and it was rather passive-aggressive on your part. Then you withheld a kiss or affection because he didn't read your mind, catch the hint, or fall for your passive-aggressiveness. After 6 dates where he has covered the bulk of the cost, and picked you up and drove you home, you gauge everything on a cheeseburger. Unless there are other issues that have your spidey senses tingling and red flags going up, this guy sounds like he has been nothing but an enjoyable and caring individual. You made no effort to care for yourself, speak up, or offer to cover snacks or food for you or both of you during a time where there were a ton of options. People can be irritable and irrational when they're hungry. You're old enough to know your body and your reaction to skipping a meal by preparing in advance, curbing your irritability, and speaking up. You can even take the time to always have a granola bar or portable snack in your purse just in case, so that you don't get this crabby attitude when things don't work quite like anticipated. Honestly, the whole breakdown started because you were so busy, you didn't eat before you left the house...then expected him to read your mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 I guess there was a power struggle going on there and the OP picked up on it. It seems weird that HE invited HER to the movie and when they had to wait an hour for it to start, he did not offer to buy a drink (alcoholic/non alcoholic) in a place that serves food and drink. I cannot imagine just sitting there waiting an hour for the movie to start with no food or drink in front of me. I guess he deliberately withheld, she was not going to back down and cave, so they then had an impasse. This was not a woman who never pays, she had already paid for some other dates, so I am not sure of his rationale here, he may think he has done his bit and now needs to sponge off this professional woman, stranger things have happened, or he has done some "calculations" and decided it was HER turn to pay. OR because HE was full and not thirsty, it never crossed his mind to buy food or drink, some people are genuinely clueless. Whatever the reason, it seems to have left a bad taste in the OP's mouth... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 It seems strange to me overall that you two agreed for him to pick you up at 6:30 to spend the evening together and neither one of you mentioned dinner. Your date fell over prime dinner time! It also seems passive aggressive on both your parts, especially considering you've been on seven dates together. You were obviously waiting for him to bring it up, I don't know if he was waiting for you to bring it up, or he wasn't hungry or what. But, if he's paid for five dates and you've paid for two and he paid for the movie tickets, it would have been totally normal for you to offer to buy the snacks or food, or for one of you to at least mention getting food or dinner, given the timing of your date. Personally, I wouldn't have sat there starving, hoping he would take a hint and either ask if I wanted dinner or to offer to stop and get me McDonald's on the way home. I would've just bought myself some food or asked him to stop off at McDonald's. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Men are not mind readers. You should have bought your own cheeseburger. The way you "tested" this guy and your flippant, passive aggressive attitude says more about your character than the fact that he didn't offer to buy you a cheeseburger says about him. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 This was not a woman who never pays, she had already paid for some other dates, so I am not sure of his rationale here Perhaps it was as simple as "I bought the tickets, she can buy the drinks/food?" That's what we usually do... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Old skool girl here. IMO the guy was pretty clueless, not experience, a penny pincher or he is just a dork. Either way, when you have an hour to kill, what would be the first thing someone would do?...offer something to eat/drink while you wait. That doesn't take being a bloody mind reader. A date is an invite, just like when you invite someone over to watch a movie...what do you do? you offer your date/guest something to eat/drink...it's being polite. Everyone needs to relax! the OP wasn't asking for a steak and lobster dinner for f sakes. She was just hoping for some common courtesy. For the OP....next time when you are asked to go to the movies or anything else that doesn't involve eating, make sure you have dinner before you go out. It was just a movie date not a dinner and a movie date. What were you thinking going out without having something to eat? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Put a banana in your bag for when you get peckish, very healthy and packs a load of natural sugar to beat the hypoglycaemia, the wrapper is biodegradable too. And no doubt your date will be very interested in seeing you eat it... Win win. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Imajerk17 Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 (edited) I'd *might* be more inclined to agree that OP's date was being clueless IF this was the first date. But, rereading the original post first paragraph, OP and this guy went out 7 times already, OP's date paid for 5. So *most* dates so far. This over 2 months. So anyway OP...let this experience be a lesson for you in direct communication. As you've been on 7 dates w this guy OP and this guy has already paid for most of your outings. At this point, you *really* should be at the point where you should be able to tell the guy that you are hungry, and offer to pick up a meal or a snack for you both. Edited October 31, 2017 by Imajerk17 8 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 I predict this is the last date, anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 :lmao: omg what did I just read? You stayed hungry in the movie theater and didn't just go out to get yourself a snack??? WHy OP?? What kind of 'test' you are performing on this dude? It is a matter of self-preservation. Plus if he bought the tickets - it is a no brainer it is on you to buy the food, for both of you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted October 31, 2017 Share Posted October 31, 2017 Time out for a dinner break. Thanks for the responses so far! Link to post Share on other sites
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