Loveless generation?

[Mkn1010]

I'll ask all the religious, right-winger daters who are online as well. All those family-oriented men now find it easier to be themselves by using OLD. It's not a liberal or conservative thing. I have seen plenty of 'christians' out there going from one relationship to the next and seeking qualities that reveal just how shallow and superficial they truly are. Aside from that, yes, I believe it encourages those who are already narcissistic.

 

 

 

I believe that many are looking for something of substance. Many WOMEN that is. The OLD has really thrown a curve ball at our entire society and 'predators' of varying levels are having a field day via deceit, subterfuge, anonymity...

 

How the heck did this thread become religious? I'm not religious. It's incredibly small minded to think that a conservative person must be that way based on religious origins! And any whiff of someone being conservative, the 'other side' jump all over you like you're some hardcore bible basher... and this from people who are supposedly liberal! Equality my a**

 

Have to wonder where this defensiveness comes from!

[Blanco]

How the heck did this thread become religious? I'm not religious. It's incredibly small minded to think that a conservative person must be that way based on religious origins! And any whiff of someone being conservative, the 'other side' jump all over you like you're some hardcore bible basher... and this from people who are supposedly liberal! Equality my a**

 

Have to wonder where this defensiveness comes from!

 

It's probably different over there, but in today's identity politics that are thriving in the US, modern conservatism and religiousness definitely go hand-in-hand.

[kendahke]

What a joke! Exactly the problem, I apparently need to find a fundamentalist church to find like-minded heartfelt people!

 

Well, you're the one complaining that the people are of loose morals on dating apps.

 

If this end of the spectrum isn't working for you, go to the other and see if your luck improves.

 

But the way you've lashed out on this thread could be the reason why you haven't been successful in finding anyone.

 

Just sayin'...

Edited October 30, 2017 by kendahke

[Woggle]

Casual sex isn't the problem. It's the way both men and women treat dating and relationships these days as a war to be won. It's sad.

[Gr8fuln2020]

How the heck did this thread become religious? I'm not religious. It's incredibly small minded to think that a conservative person must be that way based on religious origins! And any whiff of someone being conservative, the 'other side' jump all over you like you're some hardcore bible basher... and this from people who are supposedly liberal! Equality my a**

 

Have to wonder where this defensiveness comes from!

 

You mentioned liberal cesspool. I assumed that your beef was partially political/culturally myopic. I wasn't suggesting that YOU were religious, rather adding to the fact that there are as many so-called conservative, religious folk out there partaking in the frustrations of dating and so, it has nothing to do with being a 'liberal' cesspool. I simply thought your use of 'liberal' to describe something as fundamentally universal was...BS.

 

Not sure how equality has anything to do with this either.

[Cobra_X]

Casual sex isn't the problem. It's the way both men and women treat dating and relationships these days as a war to be won. It's sad.

 

It's a marketplace Woggle. If there is an issue in how people get treated it's because there is a market imbalance.

 

He's a lawyer--a profession not known for not knowing what words to use and when.

 

Fair point.... but remember that feminists are so fussy about words that they get offended by the word Fireman thinking that it will discourage young girls... yet they also use the word for evil as Patriarchy (men) and good feminist (women).

 

My point is that emotional thinking does not see it's own hypocrisy.

 

I'm actually a female, that's probably why I don't find many men who agree with me! I don't have any issue with the type of mainstream women that dominate my big city, I'm just not one of them!

I'm surprised everyone thought I was male given my views!

 

To be fair you are complaining about women. Most people who complain about women have to date them. You should be complaining about men. I've been in bars overrun with Aussie Bogans... that really gave me something to complain about. Good luck with that!

 

Well, you're the one complaining that the people are of loose morals on dating apps.

If this end of the spectrum isn't working for you, go to the other and see if your luck improves.

But the way you've lashed out on this thread could be the reason why you haven't been successful in finding anyone.

Just sayin'...

 

Meh. Like I said before... bitterness usually comes AFTER the pain, it is rarely the cause. It does impede healing, but sometimes it's also a required stage.

 

You mentioned liberal cesspool. I assumed that your beef was partially political/culturally myopic. I wasn't suggesting that YOU were religious, rather adding to the fact that there are as many so-called conservative, religious folk out there partaking in the frustrations of dating and so, it has nothing to do with being a 'liberal' cesspool. I simply thought your use of 'liberal' to describe something as fundamentally universal was...BS.

Not sure how equality has anything to do with this either.

 

Uh... the Religious people I know don't struggle with dating at all. They have the best dating pool in the world. Although this does vary greatly by the church.

 

Either way... she just called you out for stereotyping her, and a lot of other people too. Not a nice thing to do.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Uh... the Religious people I know don't struggle with dating at all. They have the best dating pool in the world. Although this does vary greatly by the church.

 

Either way... she just called you out for stereotyping her, and a lot of other people too. Not a nice thing to do.

 

I have no idea what you are talking about. I was simply suggesting that conservative/religious people have the same types of dating issues as anyone else. Reading the posts here and looking at the real world makes that clear. Your 'Although this does vary ''greatly" by church' comment further illustrates this truth.

 

What stereotype are you talking about? I don't believe I casted any stereotype in my previous messages. Once again, what I attempted to do is make it clear that this issue is no more liberal than it is anything else. Your use my previous comment, in no way, shows any stereotyping on my part.

[Cobra_X]

I have no idea what you are talking about. I was simply suggesting that conservative/religious people have the same types of dating issues as anyone else. Reading the posts here and looking at the real world makes that clear. Your 'Although this does vary ''greatly" by church' comment further illustrates this truth.

What stereotype are you talking about? I don't believe I casted any stereotype in my previous messages. Once again, what I attempted to do is make it clear that this issue is no more liberal than it is anything else. Your use my previous comment, in no way, shows any stereotyping on my part.

 

Religious people are not just conservative... that is a stereotype. They come in all flavors.

[mortensorchid]

I'm 42 and a multi-district substitute teacher around kids all the time, little and big ones depending on which way the wind blows. I often times wonder what love will be or is right now to the kids I teach, as the world has changed so much. Now you don't seem to "go looking" anymore, it's online in some form be they dating apps or whatever else, but people seem to begin a lot of relationships online now. Is it a bad thing? That's up for debate as it's a new form of communication to be sure. But here's how I see things ...

 

Humans are social creatures. We crave companionship and we look to each other for it in many ways possible. There will never be a person who doesn't want human companionship for whatever reason. The means in which we are looking for it has changed, however. I think when OLD first came out it was "sold" to us as a product. Like a lot of other products (ex. tooth whitening strips) we try them out and find out they are not as cracked up as the marketing claimed it would be. There will always be people who are/were looking for nothing but sex. If you are one of those people, more power to you. If you are one of those people who are looking for love and an LTR ... That's just as hard as it is/was before the advent of apps.

 

If there was an answer as to what will / will not bring you what you're looking for, I don't have that answer to give you. If I had the answer I would tell you, but I don't have it. We're just treading water as hard as we were before them.

[SammySammy]

I was talking to my daughter about this very subject a couple of days ago.

 

I do think there is a lack of true love in today’s relationships. There are a lot of things that are seen as normal that are not loving behavior. Not things you do to someone you truly love.

 

Lots of disrespectful behavior. Untrustworthiness. Selfishness. Outright cruelty. Pettiness.

 

I’m not sure we can put all of the blame on dating apps though the media does play a role. Traditional media and social media. This may not be popular to say, but I think feminism has played a role. And the backlash to it - the woman-hating red pill folks. Both have degraded the climate for good relationships. I don’t think it’s a “liberal” issue either. Because today’s conservatism is a moral cess pool right now. Along with modern religion. Especially American style evangelicalism. A morass of wickedness and hypocrisy that has no ground to judge anyone and can provide no clear path to successful relationships that their leaders or followers abide by.

 

So, as far as I’m concerned, the problem is more a general moral decay in society without regard to ideology. A move toward selfishness - what’s good for me rather than being considerate of others. Other individuals or society in general.

 

And love, by definition, cares for others.

 

When we start to expect others to accept our disrespect, untrustworthiness, selfishness, and unkindness as a normal part of relationships, then there is no real love in our relationships.

[Gr8fuln2020]

Religious people are not just conservative... that is a stereotype. They come in all flavors.

 

Agreed. I did not claim that they were only conservative. I was countering the notion that this was a 'liberal' cesspool and reminding the original poster that conservative AND religious people (most whom identify themselves as conservative/traditional) are also participants.

Edited October 31, 2017 by simpleNfit

[Mkn1010]

It's a marketplace Woggle. If there is an issue in how people get treated it's because there is a market imbalance.

 

 

 

Fair point.... but remember that feminists are so fussy about words that they get offended by the word Fireman thinking that it will discourage young girls... yet they also use the word for evil as Patriarchy (men) and good feminist (women).

 

My point is that emotional thinking does not see it's own hypocrisy.

 

 

 

To be fair you are complaining about women. Most people who complain about women have to date them. You should be complaining about men. I've been in bars overrun with Aussie Bogans... that really gave me something to complain about. Good luck with that!

 

 

 

Meh. Like I said before... bitterness usually comes AFTER the pain, it is rarely the cause. It does impede healing, but sometimes it's also a required stage.

 

 

 

Uh... the Religious people I know don't struggle with dating at all. They have the best dating pool in the world. Although this does vary greatly by the church.

 

Either way... she just called you out for stereotyping her, and a lot of other people too. Not a nice thing to do.

 

Thanks Cobra! I'm an Aussie too so unfortunately I'm familiar with the bogan bar scene (*places hands over eyes)! It was once mildly entertaining!

[Mkn1010]

I was talking to my daughter about this very subject a couple of days ago.

 

I do think there is a lack of true love in today’s relationships. There are a lot of things that are seen as normal that are not loving behavior. Not things you do to someone you truly love.

 

Lots of disrespectful behavior. Untrustworthiness. Selfishness. Outright cruelty. Pettiness.

 

I’m not sure we can put all of the blame on dating apps though the media does play a role. Traditional media and social media. This may not be popular to say, but I think feminism has played a role. And the backlash to it - the woman-hating red pill folks. Both have degraded the climate for good relationships. I don’t think it’s a “liberal” issue either. Because today’s conservatism is a moral cess pool right now. Along with modern religion. Especially American style evangelicalism. A morass of wickedness and hypocrisy that has no ground to judge anyone and can provide no clear path to successful relationships that their leaders or followers abide by.

 

So, as far as I’m concerned, the problem is more a general moral decay in society without regard to ideology. A move toward selfishness - what’s good for me rather than being considerate of others. Other individuals or society in general.

 

And love, by definition, cares for others.

 

When we start to expect others to accept our disrespect, untrustworthiness, selfishness, and unkindness as a normal part of relationships, then there is no real love in our relationships.

 

Thank you for perfectly articulating what I failed to! Wholeheartedly agree with this entire post! If you're a parent and having these discussions with your daughter, then I remain hopeful for humanity!

Edited October 31, 2017 by Mkn1010
Typo

[Mkn1010]

Judge others much? "liberal cesspool"? Sex strictly for pleasure may not be for you. That's fine. But people who sometimes enjoy sex without developing a long term emotional attachment are in a "liberal cesspool"? Wow.

 

I'm not too sure if I offended you, but it seems as though I did! I don't judge you or others for a different sexual freedom than I don't personally exercise. This post and the strong words I used were about expressing my frustration at being part of what feels like a minority group and the isolation that comes with having traditional (misinterpreted as "judgmental") views!

 

It was an arrogant endeavour and perhaps a misjudgment for expressing my beliefs here! I'm no stranger to the persecution and sheer defensiveness that always follows, but I honestly don't mean to make others feel bad about themselves, that seems to be the result nevertheless!

[Mkn1010]

Well, you're the one complaining that the people are of loose morals on dating apps.

 

If this end of the spectrum isn't working for you, go to the other and see if your luck improves.

 

But the way you've lashed out on this thread could be the reason why you haven't been successful in finding anyone.

 

Just sayin'...

 

If this was written with the intention of being helpful, then thank you! See above reply to Caveman regarding my thoughts about these responses!

[Mkn1010]

You mentioned liberal cesspool. I assumed that your beef was partially political/culturally myopic. I wasn't suggesting that YOU were religious, rather adding to the fact that there are as many so-called conservative, religious folk out there partaking in the frustrations of dating and so, it has nothing to do with being a 'liberal' cesspool. I simply thought your use of 'liberal' to describe something as fundamentally universal was...BS.

 

Not sure how equality has anything to do with this either.

 

Liberal was probably the wrong word here, apologies!

[todreaminblue]

ive never used apps to date, used an app to order a hamburger though...i feel todays environment is one that promotes discarding people......is it swipe left or right?...i wonder if swipe left or ight can be considered compassionate and understanding or really...does swipe left or right entail no care....and that is part of what love is or the start of love..care compassion understanding........

 

 

when you can order a date a chance of forming a love relationship like you can a hamburger.....do we do it like peoples...or are we just surveying the meat menu..mere animals to check out and discard the less meatier option..

 

love is fading ....from many things...dating.....family relationships...and it points to humanities fate ....that was predicted in words..... written to happen..its happening..old school dating....could be a way to go .....to recognizing the worth of people..getting to know the person behind the smile and dreamy brown eyes.....lol yep i like brown eyes.....mine are always blue.......deb

Edited October 31, 2017 by todreaminblue

[Mkn1010]

ive never used apps to date, used an app to order a hamburger though...i feel todays environment is one that promotes discarding people......is it swipe left or right?...i wonder if swipe left or ight can be considered compassionate and understanding or really...does swipe left or right entail no care....and that is part of what love is or the start of love..care compassion understanding........

 

 

when you can order a date a chance of forming a love relationship like you can a hamburger.....do we do it like peoples...or are we just surveying the meat menu..mere animals to check out and discard the less meatier option..

 

love is fading ....from many things...dating.....family relationships...and it points to humanities fate ....that was predicted in words..... written to happen..its happening..old school dating....could be a way to go .....to recognizing the worth of people..getting to know the person behind the smile and dreamy brown eyes.....lol yep i like brown eyes.....mine are always blue.......deb

 

Thanks Deb, I always love the way you express things with such heart, simple yet poignant analogies and unique writing style! And yes, it was written to happen....even though we can't change that, I believe every small thing we personally do matters, including your posts on this board

[Steve51]

I know three people who married someone they met on an online dating services. Two men and one woman. Both said that they had a lot of sex, mostly on the first date because like them, they were recently divorced and at that time when they needed sex again. My good friend said that the first woman he dated asked him to leave the Broadway play early to go to his place for sex. My other male friend said that he was getting tired of changing his sheets twice a day on the weekend. The female got pregnant but did not marry the father. Did not know which of three men it was anyway. Pre DNA testing days.

 

I saw my wife on a train, followed her home in my car and hid in the back until she left her house an hour later. Then I followed her to her bank where I just happened to run into her and asked her out for a date. Three weeks later we were engaged and this month is our 45th year of marriage. I know that there are now laws against stalking but doesn't love work like this anymore?

[Cobra_X]

I was talking to my daughter about this very subject a couple of days ago.

I do think there is a lack of true love in today’s relationships. There are a lot of things that are seen as normal that are not loving behavior. Not things you do to someone you truly love.

Lots of disrespectful behavior. Untrustworthiness. Selfishness. Outright cruelty. Pettiness.

I’m not sure we can put all of the blame on dating apps though the media does play a role. Traditional media and social media. This may not be popular to say, but I think feminism has played a role. And the backlash to it - the woman-hating red pill folks. Both have degraded the climate for good relationships. I don’t think it’s a “liberal” issue either. Because today’s conservatism is a moral cess pool right now. Along with modern religion. Especially American style evangelicalism. A morass of wickedness and hypocrisy that has no ground to judge anyone and can provide no clear path to successful relationships that their leaders or followers abide by.

So, as far as I’m concerned, the problem is more a general moral decay in society without regard to ideology. A move toward selfishness - what’s good for me rather than being considerate of others. Other individuals or society in general.

And love, by definition, cares for others.

When we start to expect others to accept our disrespect, untrustworthiness, selfishness, and unkindness as a normal part of relationships, then there is no real love in our relationships.

 

If you look back in history the Christian Church has always struggled with wolves among the sheep. I mean the Catholic Priests used to run brothels out the back of the church.

 

Reading the Old Testament of the Bible as a kid... the one thing that stood out to me strongly was how frequently "God's Chosen People" fell away from their calling. It had a near generational cycle. This should tell us something about what is going on within the church today. I have no doubt that the good and faithful are there, and that they will still be there in 100 years. I do not ever believe they will outnumber those who just claim to be Christian, and I do not believe they ever have.

 

Thanks Cobra! I'm an Aussie too so unfortunately I'm familiar with the bogan bar scene (*places hands over eyes)! It was once mildly entertaining!

 

The Bogans are bad, fun to hang with, but bad in general. The Australian women tend to cheat way too much for my tastes. I suspect the guys are similar. My general rule is to avoid relationships with them.

 

I'm not too sure if I offended you, but it seems as though I did! I don't judge you or others for a different sexual freedom than I don't personally exercise. This post and the strong words I used were about expressing my frustration at being part of what feels like a minority group and the isolation that comes with having traditional (misinterpreted as "judgmental") views!

It was an arrogant endeavour and perhaps a misjudgment for expressing my beliefs here! I'm no stranger to the persecution and sheer defensiveness that always follows, but I honestly don't mean to make others feel bad about themselves, that seems to be the result nevertheless!

 

Drug addicts often find themselves offended by people who don't bow to the peer pressure and join in the "fun". I have seen this play out first hand many times.

 

People engaged in hedonism will always be offended by your restraint. Your very existence will be irritating to them. Never apologize for this.

 

I may not live the way you do, or believe what you believe, but I can see that it might be a better path.

[coolheadal]

I was out yesterday ran into some young college women that where really smiling at me. Even started to chat with me without saying anything to the last one. Shoot could have gotten her phone number. I had tried one of my lines on her got a lot of info she was smiling all he way. But like I said I wasn't looking for date. Happy Halloween everyone here LS! I got my jack-o-lantern t-shirt face look on today for work!

[Simple Logic]

Do you believe that dating apps promote narcissism and a liberal cesspool?

I feel that they make it much easier for people nowadays to get sex with little effort (eg after 1-2 dates) or whatever other immediate needs they may have like validation or attention! And there's pressure to conform lest you are thrown back into the cesspool where another candidate awaits at their fingertips! There's no patience or appreciation for diversity! And if feels a lot like a loveless generation where people aren't looking for traits like empathy, substance, introspective, real committed etc etc

 

Does anyone feel this way?

 

And I honestly had no idea that people did 'casual' relationships until I became single again at 28. Now it's the norm and not the exception when asking what someone is looking for!

 

Rant over!

 

It is not an OLD thing. You have happily married people, divorced and those who really never wanted a relationship. The same thing existed before the internet.

[Mkn1010]

If you look back in history the Christian Church has always struggled with wolves among the sheep. I mean the Catholic Priests used to run brothels out the back of the church.

 

Reading the Old Testament of the Bible as a kid... the one thing that stood out to me strongly was how frequently "God's Chosen People" fell away from their calling. It had a near generational cycle. This should tell us something about what is going on within the church today. I have no doubt that the good and faithful are there, and that they will still be there in 100 years. I do not ever believe they will outnumber those who just claim to be Christian, and I do not believe they ever have.

 

 

 

The Bogans are bad, fun to hang with, but bad in general. The Australian women tend to cheat way too much for my tastes. I suspect the guys are similar. My general rule is to avoid relationships with them.

 

 

 

Drug addicts often find themselves offended by people who don't bow to the peer pressure and join in the "fun". I have seen this play out first hand many times.

 

People engaged in hedonism will always be offended by your restraint. Your very existence will be irritating to them. Never apologize for this.

 

I may not live the way you do, or believe what you believe, but I can see that it might be a better path.

 

 

Man, I legitimately nearly cried at reading this! No longer as regretful about starting this thread. I'm saving this for sure.

[caveman621]

OP - So did you mean to type "libertine" instead of "liberal"? If so, your original post makes a bit more sense!