What's the most painful, memorable thing your ex or you said during breakup?

[CeciliaCylara]

 

there was another guy. And he was very overweight and pasty white...literally left me for a white whale.

 

Omg, I actually burst out laughing at this.

[Trust666]

She didn't laugh when weeks later I said that to her in a conversation involving returning clothes and me moving across the country soon.

 

We argued a bit and I was mean and immature and brought up her "white whale" reference. Not my proudest moment but I asked her how Chad the White Whale was and she got pissed lol.

 

I'm still not dealing well, as I said we had a long history and in the end this insecure, afraid to trust woman I had dated at 19 and again recently betrayed me in a way that she was afraid would be done to her. Both her ex husbands cheated on her. I was her first serious boyfriend at 18/19 and she reconnected with me, two weeks before she dumped me out of the blue she asked me "do you trust me?". I also have trust issues and I said "yes I do, you make me feel great and I know I can trust you". She was always a sweet trustworthy woman, even my mother adored her to the point she would bring her up a decade later.

 

I got dumped for her richer high school boyfriend. We had mutual friends and when they saw pics of them together on FB they said things along the lines of "ewww". I felt far worse, looks are not everything but wow. Self esteem and ego plummeted along with my heart.

 

I've lived with women and even one for a decade and this last woman and the heartbreak I feel daily are killing me, I literally had to leave the state and burn bridges so she would never contact me or be in the same room again.

[SpecialJ]

After months of talking about wanting to have kids with me eventually, one of the many head-scratching reasons he listed for blindsiding me with a breakup was that it would be difficult to raise children with me because of our different religious backgrounds. This had never been mentioned as an issue before, even though we'd talked about it plenty and neither of us is particularly observant of anything. Made me wonder who the eff that person was and if he was secretly prejudiced.

 

Then he added, we could still have kids, just as long as he didn't need to stay with me to raise them. (As if his genetic material would be some great parting gift?)

 

I declined.

[Bromeo]

Her: "you acting like this is why every woman you have ever loved has left you."

 

I was taking her to a distillery in Michigan for a tour. We didn't make it.

 

I used to joke she would date dudes in hoodies.

 

After she left she dated a dude in hoodie. And still contacted me, and liked my photos until I blocked her.

 

Left some major scars I'm still dealing with.

[goldengirl11]

I don't want a relationship with you (including hand actions). Go and find someone who wants to be with you.

Instead he chooses a married woman who he's got a lot more in common with/has a stronger connection with. He also not long before told me to sort my vagina out (although we had sex the once since), but turns out he had E.D, which he blamed me for.

Edited October 27, 2017 by goldengirl11

[Goodguy05]

Worst thing I ever got told by my ex was ur boring and ur the worst thing that ever happenned to me. it hurt like hell.

[galamoosh]

Me breaking up: "I feel I was at my best when i met you." (I had really low self esteem leading to our breakup)

 

Her rejecting me for the other guy: "I fell in love with your potential."

[elhacedor]

"I'm wasting my time with you", she said.

 

Still hurts a year later.

[amaysngrace]

Not much was said but there was an empty house along with a letter from my lawyer when he got home from work that day.

[VisionL09]

Me and my ex were in a LDR for 3.5 years and she one day told me these exact words "i need space, but that doesn't mean that i love you any less". I then wanted to communicate about everything before i gave her the space she asked for since she did say that she didn't love me any less but she went MIA for like 15 hours and ignored all my texts and calls. i finally heard from her the next day and finally was able to call her like 22 hours after she first told me she needed space. She told me she didn't want this anymore and threw all types of excuses at me and i obviously was so heart broken and confused because this literally came out nowhere. One thing she told me was that she doesn't want to deal with distance anymore. I then told her "Look i'm going to do whatever it takes to be by you your side in 2-3 months because you mean that much to me and i WILL make this happen for you and for us" and she goes "i feel disgusted right now hearing you say this and i just don't want you anymore"... the rest is history..

 

I have nothing else to say but that that right there was the beginning of the hardest time of my life. It's been almost 7 weeks now and i still think about us and what we had everyday.. I've been doing better lately but it's been such a tough and life changing journey..

[toomanyquestions123]

Him: We are just culturally different, there are things i dont have the right to ask you to change, it is just the way you are.

 

Me: But..... Of course we re culturally different you are from the other side of the world... isn't this the reason why we were together at the first place? to bring the best of both cultures...at least could you name an example of a cultural difference so i can understand !!

 

Him: We cant travel together before marriage, You live with 22 years old girls.

 

FYI, we traveled two months ago.

 

*sight*

[Cookiesandough]

itz 2 late

[chinadiary]

I'm scared of you.

 

It was like a knife to the heart. I didn't understand. Not as if I'm violent or verbally nasty.

 

Later, he elaborated. He was scared, because when he had an opinion, I wouldn't always agree with him. This from the guy that I was with for 11 years, and moved to be with twice. Once, changing jobs, moving house. Once, leaving a highly paid job overseas, incurring thousand in expenses.

 

He's a weak, lying, commitment phobe and I wasted the best years of my life on him.

Edited October 30, 2017 by chinadiary

[shastaa]

Hello All, I'm sorry my thread relieved few of the most heart crushing moments of all of us.

 

Yesterday marked my 2mos BU. He sent me an email last 3rd Nov citing his reasons for leaving me, he doesn't even know why he said he loved me and up until the last moment, he's saying that what he felt for me isn't clear and told me I deserve someone who's head over heels in love with me and coud not bear to be without me.

 

I understand that I do deserve that but it felt like him rubbing the truth that he never really did cared for me. The whole thing, 1.5y with him got totally invalidated, it was FAKE.

 

I am not gonna lie when I say I was kinda hoping he'd tell me that he'll just sort his head out and will be back for me once he's on the right compass but it turns out that he is very much willing to lose me.

 

That was the last straw, blocked him on Facebook after 2days upon receipt of email without any warning or response whatsoever.

 

If he's willing to give up me, I'm willing to do the same thing too. He doesn't deserve a spot on my life knowing he can totally let me go after everything without batting an eye.

 

I don't miss him anymore, I don't want to remember him fondly. I hate that because the relationship wasn't real, it made me become so cynical and jaded.

 

I didn't deleted his brother on my Facebook acct tho, I kinda felt it would be rude to delete him, he didn't do anything bad towards me.

 

I am sorry everyone on this thread is hurting. It would be nice if you can share your updates as well here. My thoughts are all with you. I hope everyone one of us would heal soon and be a lot more stronger and happier for the coming days. xxx

[Isle]

My ex of 8 years said to me as a closing to our relationship, "Ah, you'll find someone else." To sum up almost a decade worth of memories with such a blasé comment really upset me. Although I didn't show it at the time. She also called me weird, which out of context doesn't mean much, but I once told her how my ex before her used to call me that frequently for no reason (I'm just a normal guy) and I hated it, so she used it out of pure spite.

[alterest]

Ex (depressed dumper): "I need to find myself, I wanted to take a break but I don't think this is works anyway, so I choose to break up with you. I want you to improve yourself and perhaps in future our paths cross again. I want to keep you as my friend, send you things and talk to you... And I don't want to close the door for you cause you are so special to me and we have no major issues, so I'm leaving it open for now."

 

Then I have something around six little chats with her and she was not rude, but a little cold and I can see she doesn't want to talk, even when she initiated she doesn't keep it. Don't know why...

Hurts a lot that non-closure and I keep myself in a hope that I shouldn't be. I think a prefer some rudeness when break up occurs, so you can move on faster.

[alterest]

Hearing the person who said I love you, travelled with you, laughed with you, who you had deep personal talks with, with whom you shared 2 hobby, say to you "we share nothing together, why should we stay together?"

 

I accept the fact people grow appart, but negating past complicity to justify the present lack off is very cruel to hear.

 

Like all the happynness we did share wasn't even worth remembering?

 

They say those hurtful things to chase us away and be free to go with the "new"person

 

Wow... Mine said the same thing as yours. She handle with a depression and she is bipolar, but when she said it to me I was speechless, cause everything I said she replied with "that is not important and we need important things to share". She also started to think about live with me, have kids with me... It was and still is painful.

But, as I said in this post, she told me about a perspective to reattched was and still is the worst thing, and I keep holding on that... And I don't want to

[BeeT]

Him: "I will see you again one day, whether it's married with 3 kids, I don't care."

Me: "I wanted that with you."

Him: "I want that with you too."

[Gezalmem]

Ex (dumper) : i gotta go, but i don't wanna put down the phone/call, i really don't. i am scared. i am so scared that this will be the last time i hear your voice.*

Me : please let me go, you broke my heart, i would have never done that to you, please let me forget you.*

*crying our souls out over the phone bec LDR

 

He broke up with me because he wanted freedom to date other people. The memory keeps on replaying in my head. I felt like a placeholder. There was nothing i can do but just to let go. I had no other choice.

 

I will never forget what the one who got away said as I stupidly broke up with her to look at other options: "well if you change your mind-you know what? No. I'm not going to come crawling back to you. If you can't love me, I'll find someone who will."

 

That was the last time I heard her voice, and she was true to her word. She wouldn't take me back when I begged and promised, and a part of me will never really be over her.

[chinadiary]

 

I am sorry everyone on this thread is hurting. It would be nice if you can share your updates as well here. My thoughts are all with you. I hope everyone one of us would heal soon and be a lot more stronger and happier for the coming days. xxx

 

 

 

2 months for me too. Can't say I'm feeling any better. I think I'm nearly past hoping we'll get back together, but it still hurts just as much, miss him just as much, feel empty, as if it isn't worth going on without him.

[shastaa]

As promised, I got another update on my sitch.

 

Dumper had sent me yet another email just before 1am today. My last contact to him was last 01 Nov as I stupidly asked for clarity and closure. He replied the next day and told me he needs time to think for the answers.

 

Again he emailed me 03 Nov and I just felt like an idiot reading that email. Closure is a joke, I realized I can ask all questions I want and get answers but ultimately, the only closure I need to understand is that HE LEFT ME FOR SOMEONE BETTER.

 

Last nights email says:

 

Sorry if my answers upset you or didn't answer you how you intended or something. I didn't mean to be blunt and cold but can see they probably came across that way.

 

Hope your new job is going well and you're still volunteering. I did a session at a soup kitchen with my work which was interesting but tiring!

 

I don't want to make things bad and upset you by messaging you but just wanted you to know I didn't mean to be cold or blunt. I was just focussing on answering.

 

Please take care of yourself and hope you've found time to to home to see family? They will miss you for sure.

 

I guess he thinks I'm upset bec I had blocked him on FB and whatsapp last 06 Nov. Will I reply? I don't know as I feel like the relationship has been fake from start to finish and replying wouldn't be changing anything. If there's anything, he probably just wants to be relieved of his guilt bec he acted like a piece of sh*te really, using me and discarding me as he pleases.

 

Is this what they call breadcrumbs? Anyhow, there's nothing in the mail anywayI should be happy about. I would have love to tell him "CUT THE SH*TE, YOU NEVER CARED" but probably best not to care.

[shastaa]

2 months for me too. Can't say I'm feeling any better. I think I'm nearly past hoping we'll get back together, but it still hurts just as much, miss him just as much, feel empty, as if it isn't worth going on without him.

Hi Chinadiary, I understand what you are going through but I guess sometimes what we need is to be strog for our own sake.

 

I find solace on what I keep on reading in here to treat the breakup as final, irrevocable and shun the idea of reconciliation in the near or far future. I think I'm a lot wiser now to think that I do not want someone who left me for his own happiness at the expense of my emotions.

 

Screw em' if they don't wanna comeback and screw em' even more for leaving in the first place. Maybe sometimes, people do not come back and that's okay too.

 

Show him you're strong and show him what he'd be missing and what he lost. You hang in there. Like everyone else say, you get to the part where it doesn't bother you all that much. ×

[chinadiary]

How do you do that though? I want to, just can't get there.