Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 Well people don't change. No he never said he doesn't like being pursuit: he doesn't like overtly sexual women whatever this means. Does it make sense? Seems he hasn't changed much. When I am in this thread I feel like I am stuck in a paralleled dimension. So she's an extrovert that pursued him, didn't he tell you or wrote in his profile that he can't stand aggressive women that go for what they want? and anything looking like a woman pursuing him is a turn off? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 Ok, challenge me where you see something not matching up. I'm finding that for almost every proclamatory statement made here by NG, a direct and almost verbatim contradiction can be found, sometimes on a different thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 'No life' seems extreme but I'm indeed looking for someone with minimal ties. E.g. I will NOT date someone with large friends circle, this is just a preference as some people won't date a short guy or an overweight woman or a person from another race etc. OF course I'm flexing as well - I'm an extreme introvert as well and had to push myself a lot to 'enjoy' (well, endure) social events, but I do it wherever appropriate. Copy That is not pertinent. We're talking about your mind set with regards to a potential future relationship. Yeah I do have some control issues - I just don't like the 'go with the flow' approach. It makes me unhappy. Does this mean I'm better off to stay single? Or find a specific type of a partner? Because that's a personality type, not something that can be (easily) changed. You seem very married to your "personality type." You know, the reason for those tests is to help people understand and learn how to identify and work on aspects that may be blocking them from achieving something in their lives. If I blindly succumbed to all the traits of my personality type I would never come out of my home (extreme introvert) unless it was to risk my life or the lives of others (adrenaline junkie). That's not how I choose to live my life. If you are not willing to relinquish control and "go with the flow," you won't be able to have a relationship unless, as I said before, it's with a man who has no life. A completely passive person with no presence in his own life. Relationships DEVELOP. Both people grow into them or at least that's how it's supposed to work. You can still be a control freak in many aspects of life but when you try to apply that onto another person, or to make the development of any relationship conform to your rigid parameters, it won't turn out very well. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Oh no :lmao: Our stories seem so similar. Is this the new look that men go for?! I'm seeing this more and more and apparently this passes as cool girl look, but I simply like my dresses and make up too much to go for it :lmao: This guy also stated he's into natural body hair :/ Kind of the definition of a minimalist, isn't it? You aren't his type. A lot of women can pull off a sexy, natural look. It's actually kind of important in a long - term relationship. Grow some depth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 Kind of the definition of a minimalist, isn't it? You aren't his type. A lot of women can pull off a sexy, natural look. It's actually kind of important in a long - term relationship. Grow some depth. Oh don’t you notice I was joking about the looks? If hairy underarms, grey hair and dark circles arouse you, that’s your preference, more power on you. I’d still be curious to see women pulling of sexy, *natural* look. Guys are sadly wrong about what they consider ‘natural’, this is the best kept female secret Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 I guess, if you wake up alone every morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 I guess, if you wake up alone every morning. Sorry I don’t know what are you referring to here at all. Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Yes, you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 Yes, you do. I swear I don't Are you saying that the homeless chic is achieved easier if you wake up alone or what?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MuddyFootprints Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Oh but I'm assuming if you didn't change your mind friendship would have developed & maintained. I see how it is hard in practice though. I don't really know. I honestly don't think so. I think when I said maybe we can be friends , the guy thought great maybe I can give even less than before and I can get laid. I am inclined to believe he'd have said yes to some of my invites in the hope he'll just get a casual lay without effort of his part and if no, he can let me go as "friend" and if yes maybe he can get an fwb or something. Sorry to be cynical but that's the situation with most guys who aren't into you. Not your guy's case, mine expressed casual sex interest, I think in your case he just wants some attention now and then . On his terms. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 I tend to agree in your case, because his motivation (getting laid) was very clear from the start. In my current case - no idea. Maybe it is the attention indeed but it kind of seem to be insufficient motivation to keep up friendship. In a past case of mine that I've told you about: he seems to be genuinely motivated to stay my friend, unless he's the most obtuse orbiter in the world. So guys can have different motives... Sex is just one of them. I don't really know. I honestly don't think so. I think when I said maybe we can be friends , the guy thought great maybe I can give even less than before and I can get laid. I am inclined to believe he'd have said yes to some of my invites in the hope he'll just get a casual lay without effort of his part and if no, he can let me go as "friend" and if yes maybe he can get an fwb or something. Sorry to be cynical but that's the situation with most guys who aren't into you. Not your guy's case, mine expressed casual sex interest, I think in your case he just wants some attention now and then . On his terms. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Maybe it is just as he said. He feels an intellectual connection, but no romantic/sexual connection. I think it's a lot easier for opposite sexes to be friends when that's the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 True. He's going for primarily female friends anyway, so it is not a stretch for him. I initially thought he's sleeping with one (or some) of them but seems like it's just his preference. Maybe it is just as he said. He feels an intellectual connection, but no romantic/sexual connection. I think it's a lot easier for opposite sexes to be friends when that's the case. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 Ok, challenge me where you see something not matching up. We are not permitted to reference a poster’s other threads. I skimmed some of your posting history. I noted earlier your inconsistency around never being flirty. There are many. You might find it interesting to read back 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 True. He's going for primarily female friends anyway, so it is not a stretch for him. I initially thought he's sleeping with one (or some) of them but seems like it's just his preference. but i think he has some sexual/romantic attraction to you. he messaged you on the site and he did date you up to a point. so there is some there. I think he has some hang up...not sure what it is, but it's there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 I know Cookies. You don't need 20+ hours of face time to determine sexual attraction and remember, he initiated the home date. Something did repel him along the way, but I highly doubt is sexual attraction (sexual hangup though - very likely). Unfortunately I'm starting to miss the physical side a little too much so I'll need to venture into a FWB or something like this with some dude that is okay-ish. The indication is: I'm feeling mildly attracted to some orbiters; that is a sign it has been too long :lmao: but i think he has some sexual/romantic attraction to you. he messaged you on the site and he did date you up to a point. so there is some there. I think he has some hang up...not sure what it is, but it's there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 You said he’s a post doc. Is he new to town? Not that it matters. Not sure why we’re trying to figure this guy out. He’s been consistent and clear. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 27, 2017 Author Share Posted October 27, 2017 A couple of years so far. Not that it matters. Because as we like to find reasons even if the outcomes are obvious. You said he’s a post doc. Is he new to town? Not that it matters. Not sure why we’re trying to figure this guy out. He’s been consistent and clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 27, 2017 Share Posted October 27, 2017 but i think he has some sexual/romantic attraction to you. he messaged you on the site and he did date you up to a point. so there is some there. I think he has some hang up...not sure what it is, but it's there. They had 2 good dates and then it was done for him. No_go qualified those 'good dates' even 'amazing' but it's her interpretation. Maybe he'd have a different opinion. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 Remember the third one was one of the most epic ones:D He initiated the 4th within 30 min after parting ways;) And you can blame me in any weaknesses, but having a bad intuition is not one of mine. In any case, tell me is it good to get into casual arrangement with another dude to get out of this? It could be friendship only or sexual, I'm thinking likely the former (because I'd not realistically dare for the later) but it will be kind of mean, leading this hypothetical dude on... They had 2 good dates and then it was done for him. No_go qualified those 'good dates' even 'amazing' but it's her interpretation. Maybe he'd have a different opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 In any case, tell me is it good to get into casual arrangement with another dude to get out of this? It could be friendship only or sexual, I'm thinking likely the former (because I'd not realistically dare for the later) but it will be kind of mean, leading this hypothetical dude on... Say again?? you are considering getting out of this?? Yes, to get out of a non-conventional-relationship *wink* you need to get busy and busy in the bedroom is even better. You don't need to lean anyone, just pick a guy that wants a fwb, the net is full of them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 Sadly - yeah... I am just imagining tonight the sexless life I'll lead otherwise... even if we hypothetically date again. FWB will be really non-traditional relationship for me - I've never been into casual stuff but well, I guess there is no other choice here Say again?? you are considering getting out of this?? Yes, to get out of a non-conventional-relationship *wink* you need to get busy and busy in the bedroom is even better. You don't need to lean anyone, just pick a guy that wants a fwb, the net is full of them. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2017 Share Posted October 28, 2017 Sadly - yeah... I am just imagining tonight the sexless life I'll lead otherwise... even if we hypothetically date again. FWB will be really non-traditional relationship for me - I've never been into casual stuff but well, I guess there is no other choice here You have someone in mind? You've made new contacts? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 28, 2017 Author Share Posted October 28, 2017 You have someone in mind? You've made new contacts? No, I unfortunately work in reverse again :lmao: Just bought some lingerie and thought in that case i need a man over soon. But after this weekend (which is busy already) I'll be OLDing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts